SATANIC HALLMARK

* "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."

* "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"

* "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After

having met you, I've changed my mind."

* "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."

* "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?"

* "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."

* "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."

* "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."

* "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that

are bigger than mine."

* "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!

* "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

* "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

* "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"

* "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

* "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday---so we're having you put to sleep."

* "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas)


HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF WHOLESOME HALLMARK IN THIS WAY!!!!!

'BOUT TIME WE HAD SOME CARDS THAT SAID IT THE WAY IT IS!!!!!


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