ACTUAL CRAP SAID IN
COURT
1. Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
2. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
3. Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something
that you've forgotten?
4. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
5. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when
he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
6. Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
7. Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
8. Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
9. Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
>10. Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red
> and blue lights flashing?
> A: Yes.
> Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her
car?
> A: Yes, sir.
> Q: What did she say?
> A: What disco am I at?
>
>11. Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>sleep, he
> doesn't know about it until the next
>morning?
>
>12. Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>
>13. Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>
>14. Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the
war?
>
>15. Q: Did he kill you?
>
>16. Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
collision?
>
>17. Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
>
>18. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
>
>9. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>
>20. Q: She had three children, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: How many were boys?
> A: None.
> Q: Were there any girls?
>
>21. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
>
>22. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
> didn't you?
> A: I went to Europe, Sir.
> Q: And you took your new wife?
>
>23. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> A: By death.
> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>
>24. Q: Can you describe the individual?
> A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>
>25. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
> deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
> A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>
>26. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
> people?
> A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>
>27. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go
>to?
> A: Oral.
>
>28. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing
>an
>autopsy.
>
>29. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>
>30. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a
>pulse?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for breathing?
> A: No.
> Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you
>began
>the autopsy?
> A: No.
> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
> A: It is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing
>law
>
>somewhere.