Animal Rights: Enough about animal rights already! What about STUFFED ANIMAL rights? Do you know how many times I have been sat upon? Do you know how hard it is to find a sweater in my size? It's ridiculous!
Poverty: I have lived most of my life naked, and so can you.
Reproductive Rights: The fewer people on the planet, the fewer I have to deal with.
Prayer in school: Seeing as I can't get my paws to even touch each other, I don't see how it is really significant.
Social Security: Too long have the digitless been ignored by this system. There must be reform!
Monkey monkey monkey: Aardvark, gymboree, piccolo.
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