Kayla lay in the bed of her hospital room staring out the window. Errant thoughts ran through her head. She was thankful to finally have a minute to herself. The endless stream of doctors had come and gone, her mother following one of them out to discuss her condition. Chel had gone back to the apartment to gather up a couple of things for her. Nick had come in and finally persuaded AJ to grab something to eat with him. Kayla laughed at the mock argument the two of them had before they left. As always AJ wanted nothing but McDonalds but Nick disagreed. It took Kaylas decision for McDonalds to win out. She let the guys leave only after they promised to smuggle her a quarter pounder with cheese and fries.
She honestly didnt know what was going on. She still had no feeling in her left leg, but had woken up with a wierd sensation in her right leg. It was hard to explain, as much as she tried to tell the doctors. One thing she knew was that she had her fill of hospitals for a long time. She understood now why Brian hated them so much. All of the doctors with their fake smiles painted on their faces poked and prodded. She knew that they had to run tests, each one giving her a false sense of hope. All she wanted now was to find out what she needed to and go back home.
"Ms. Davis?" Startled by the voice, Kayla turned to the door. There stood another new doctor, with his clipboard in his hand and stethascope around his neck. It took all of Kaylas strength to keep from laughing. He was the perfect stereotype of any doctor. "Yeah." She watched him as he began to walk to the bed. "Ms. Davis, I wont lie to you. Your case is unique. We havent seen a recovery like yours in a long long time. It seems as though you are regaining feeling in your right leg. Now thats not to say that it wont go away. We also dont know how long it will take or if your left leg will recover also. I'm here to tell you that you are free to leave. I've written you a prescription for pain killers, in case you get another episode like last night. If you do, have somebody page me immediately. Also i've informed your mother, i want you in here every two days so i can monitor your progress. Is that ok?"
Kayla knew that the look on her face must have expressed her hatred for hospitals because the doctor walked back to the door saying, "I'll get your discharge papers ready, then your off." Kayla heard a commotion in the hallway just then and she had to laugh. "Bone, where the hell did you learn to drive? Remind me never to ride with you again." "I learned from you, Mr.Fender Bender. We cant all drive on the sidewalks like you. Now lets get this food to Kay before it..."
She heard AJs voice trail off as the two entered her room. Concern filled her fiance's face when he saw the doctor. "Is everything alright?" He looked first at Kayla then at the doctor. "Yeah baby, Im going home!" Kayla saw out of the corner of her eye that the doctor had excused himself to get her discharge papers ready. Nick had thrown himself into the chair by the door and AJ was making his way to the bed. "You get to leave?" Kayla laughed at the fact that AJ was trying to hide his surprise. Playing along with him for the moment, she answered him. "Yes i do AJ. Why, dont you want me to come home?"
She watched as he gave her his killer grin and carefully sat down on the bed beside her. "Thats not what i meant and you know it. Its just that, well, what did they tell you?" Looking at AJ, she repeated what the doctor had told her. They were still not exactly sure what would happen, but he wanted her back to the hospital every two days. This seemed to settle AJ as he grabbed the Mickey D's bag from Nick and began eating his burger. Glaring at him, Kayla asked playfully, "Forgetting something?"
She watched as he turned to Nick with a confused look on his face. "Nick? Where we supposed to get anything else while we were gone? We got food for me, food for you...Nope that was all." Smacking him playfully, she laughed and said, "Come on baby. You know the food here is killing me. Gimme at least one bite." When AJ made like he was thinking about it, Kayla resorted to using her "puppy dog face". Smiling, she puffed out her bottom lip and stared at AJ.
"Aw baby, come on. Thats not fair. Alright, alright, Stop. I'll give you your food. On one condition." Not breaking her stare, she asked, "What is that condition?" "Give me a kiss." Was all he said as he leaned in and she felt his lips on hers. She looked deep into his eyes and all of her surroundings were lost. She felt him pull away and she could hear Nick from the chair he was sitting in. "Smoochy, smoochy. Wow, look at you two go!! Dont you guys need to come up for air?"
The passion in AJ's eyes was quickly replaced with an evil, playful grin. Knowing exactly what he was about to do, Kayla nodded in approval. She watched as AJ grabbed a handful of fries and then she herself did the same. Watching AJ's silent count she took her aim as Nick continued laughing. "One, two...Three!!!" At once Nick was covered in french fries and wearing a shocked look on his face. Kayla couldnt control her laughter as both her and AJ broke out in a fit of giggles. Neither of them heard the door open or saw the doctor come in.
AJ was still trying to stifle his laughter as he watched the doctor walk across the room and stop beside Kayla's bed. "Ms. Davis?" There was something about the tone in the doctors voice that made all traces of laughter dissolve. Even Nick sat straight up in his chair, stopping his task of picking the fries off of him. "Call me Kayla." "Alright, Kayla. I was looking over your chart and there was something that I feel we need to check again. I dont want to alarm you, but i would feel better running a few tests." AJ watched Kaylas face fall and he let his own disappointment and concern escape in a deep sigh.
"Can I still go home? I really dont want to stay." The doctor shook his head saying, "Not until tomorrow morning. Im sorry, i know i told you that you could leave, but I've found something that concerns me." AJ felt a chill go down his spine and he knew by the look on Kaylas face that she felt even worse. Why is the doctor telling her this? What had he found? "I'll be back in about a half hour." With that the doctor left the room, leaving the three of them staring after him.
AJ watched as Nick stood up. He looked uncomfortable and began walking to the door. "I'm gonna go by your apartment Kay and try to find Chel. We'll both be back a little later. Kay, try not to let it get to you, Im sure its nothing. And dont worry you two, I am gonna get you back for throwing the fries." AJ laughed in spite of himself and stood up quickly. "Nick, hold on a sec. I wanna talk to the doctor for a sec. Stay with Kayla." He walked to the bed and said to Kayla, "Baby, I'll be right back.", and gave her a kiss on the cheek. With that he let himself out of the room and spotted him.
Reaching out, he touched the doctor lightly on the shoulder. "Can i talk to you for a few minutes?" The doctor looked confused for a second, then the recognition registered on his face. "Mr. McLean. I know you want to know exactly why i'm making Kayla stay." AJ nodded and stared at the older man, waiting. The doctor sighed and motioned AJ into his office. "Im not gonna lie. At first we thought that Kaylas recovery was coming along very well, very quickly. And while it is amazing that she has regained sensation in her right leg, her left leg is whats concerning us right now. From the amount of swelling there was, and where it was, she should have regained sensation in her left leg first. I know last night the pain was in both legs but it worries me that she lost it in her left leg once again."
AJ swallowed and tried to understand what the doctor was saying. He was still unclear on exactly what he was trying to say. "So what does this mean? Tell me." The doctor sighed once again and AJ knew that what he was about to hear wasnt good. "Mr. McLean, it seems as though Kayla has lost all feeling in her left leg. Permanantly." AJ felt his words echo in his mind. This cant be happening, theres gotta be something that can be done, he thought. "Theres nothing you can do?" "That is why im keeping her here tonight, to run some tests, see where we stand. I wont lie to you. It doesnt look good, but there is still a chance that is just healing late. Again, thats why i need to run these extra tests. Im sorry, AJ."
AJ didnt know what to say. He knew that this would break Kaylas heart all over again. Quietly, he said to the doctor. "Let me be the one to tell her. She'll take it better from me." In his mind, he only hoped he was right. "Sure, AJ. Dont tell her yet though, not until we find out more information." AJ nodded and stood up, thanking the doctor for his time. As he slowly made his way back to Kayla's room, he felt numb inside. He tried to think of what words he could use to tell her and prayed that somehow, hearing it from him would soften the blow. As he had told the doctor he wouldnt say anything yet, he wasnt anxious to break the news to her. Standing at the door to Kaylas room, AJ pushed the doctors words from his mind for now, placed a smile on his face and opened the door.
Later that night, Kayla was sitting up in her bed laughing. Chel, Nick and AJ were all in the room with her and they were recounting tour stories for some reason. Kayla couldnt help but laugh at the memory of when Brian was drunk or the way Kevin counted the beats as he danced. Tonight was a good night, despite the doctors worries, she was enjoying this time with her friends. She had a new found hope about regaining the feeling in both of her legs and for the first time in a long time, she was truly happy. Her life was finally starting to come back together, she was engaged to the most perfect man she had ever met. She had a group of wonderful friends who had supported her through all of the hardships and shared in all of her joys. Still talking about the tour, Kayla confidently voiced a thought. "By the next tour, i should be recovered. I cant wait to get up there and dance again!!"
Nick and Chel agreed with her as she voiced her excitement for the future. Only AJ stayed quiet as she talked. Looking at him, she tried to catch his eye, but he refused to look up. "AJ, whats wrong?" Finally, he looked at her and shook his head. "Nothing, i was just thinking." A small smile slid onto her face as she said to him in a mock warning tone. "Alexander James McLean, i know you better than that. You know you cant lie to me, somethings wrong. Whats on your mind?"
Concern filled her mind as her fiance' stood up and quietly asked Nick and Chel to leave. "AJ? Whats going on? Why do they have to leave?" Taking her hand, AJ looked into her eyes. "Theres something i need to talk to you about. They can come back in a little while. We have to talk, alone." AJ's words were scaring her only because she had never heard him talk like that before. He was usually her confidence, always talking positive. Something about the tone in his voice told her he had anything but good news to tell her.
Kayla said goodbye to both Nick and Chel and watched as they left. Turning to AJ, she asked him, "Baby, whats going on?" AJ sat down on the bed and stared into her eyes. "You know i talked to the doctor earlier. When i came back, i told you that he couldnt tell me much? That wasnt exactly true. He didnt want me to tell you until he knew for sure." Kayla listened to his words and tried to make sense of what he was saying. "So, he did tell you something? Why didnt you tell me, AJ? What did he say?" Kayla could feel a feeling of dread come over her as she waited for AJ's explanation. Somehow she knew that she wouldnt want to hear what he was about to say.
She watched AJ first look down at the blanket, then back up into her eyes. The feeling of dread only worsened when she saw that his eyes were wet with tears that hadnt fallen yet. In a whisper, she asked him again, "Baby? What did he say?" "I wish i didnt have to say this. He made me promise not to say anything until he knew for sure. The reason he wanted you to stay for extra tests tonight...Well, he wasnt happy with the way your recovery was coming along." Kayla interrupted him then saying, "They said i was doing well. AJ, they said the swelling has gone down. I can feel my right leg, its only a matter of time before..."
"Theres a ninety-five percent chance that you will never regain feeling in your left leg. Its the one that should have healed first. The way the swelling was and where the impact was. He's almost positive that you wont be able to walk again. Tonights tests confirmed it. Kayla, baby, I'm so sorry. I dont know what else to say." Kayla sat, numbly staring at AJ, his words fading in and out of her brain as she tried to comprehend them. The silence in the room became unbearable as both of them were consumed in their own thoughts. After what seemed like an eternity, Kaylas voice shakily broke the deafening silence.
Looking up with her own tear filled eyes, she only said two words. "Hold me." It was all she wanted at that moment in time. In an instant he was up and wrapping his arms around her. Within the comfort of her fiance's arms, Kayla let the tears fall. All of the hurt that she had held inside during the past month was coming to the surface. She clung to him, sobbing, as he held her tightly. She could feel him stroking her hair, pushing it out of her face and she could hear him softly whispering, "I know baby. Just let it out. Im right here, im not going anywhere. It's alright..." Through her sobs, she heard his whispering change from words to a song. ~I know it's late, i know you're weary; i know your plans, dont include me; but still here we are, both of us lonely; longing for shelter from all that we see; why should we worry, no one will care, girl; look at the stars, so far a way...We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow...~
She didnt know how long he held her for, but she remembered when the feeling of sleep overcame her. She knew AJ was still with her, because she still felt his arms around her when she woke up during the night. She felt as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, having let it all out in his arms. Althought the news he delivered was the last thing she had wanted to hear, she knew deep down that it would need a miracle to walk again. She had accepted the fact and was ready to move on.
As she lay there in AJs arms, she felt his body stir. She watched as he sleepily turned around to face her. When he noticed that Kaylas eyes were open, he sat up quickly. Kayla almost laughed, his movements were so funny. "Kay, are you ok?" She nodded her head. "Im fine baby. All things considered, I'm fine. It felt so good to let it all out, you know?" She felt his arms tighten around her and then felt AJs lips on hers. It was a small kiss, but it felt wonderful. She moved herself closer to him and rested her head on his chest. "I love you AJ." As soon as those words left her lips, she drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Unheard by her ears came his reply, "I love you too, baby. I love you too."
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