It had been over a month since Kayla had left the hospital. She was still going every other day so the doctors could check out her progress, if any and to make sure everything was going alright. The one thing that she had noticed was the fact that the doctors no longer tried to give her that false sense of hope. There was nobody telling her that it would only be a matter of time, nobody saying that if she did this this and that that she would be walking again in no time. Where as before this thought would have bothered her, Kayla knew now that she wouldnt regain feeling in her left leg. She had accepted that fact. Instead, she focused her energy on all of the positive things in her life.
After leaving the hospital, it had been decided that she would move in with AJ. His house was far larger than the apartment and truthfully, she wanted to feel him near as often as she could. At first, she was worried about leaving Chel at the apartment alone, but that worry was quickly gone after Chel accepted Nick's invitation to move in with him. So throughout the month, plans were made as both of the girls prepared to leave behind their small apartment.
It was a somber day as Nick, AJ, Chel and Kayla packed up the girls things. Kayla knew that neither AJ or Nick completely understood why they were so sad to be leaving, but she knew there was no way to explain it. Sure the two girls would see each other as often as thay had before, but they were no longer housemates. They wouldnt be able to stay up and hold their marathon gab sessions long into the night. They couldnt sit there and tell each other all the funny things that AJ or Nick had done for them. For both of the girls, it was the end of one chapter of their lives, and a new beginning of the next.
Tonight was the first real night that Kayla was spending in AJ's house. At the moment, her fiance' was in the kitchen attempting to whip up a batch of his "world famous" spaghetti just for her. As she sat on the plush red leopard print couch, she gazed over her new surroundings. Sure, she had been to his house a million times, and spent many nights in these very rooms, but it was all different now. As AJ had been stressing to her for the past few weeks, this was hers now too.
Laughing to herself as she heard AJ in the kitchen singing Brick House, she looked around the room. One wall of the living room was painted a deep yellow color, another wall was a pale yellow. Amidst a small amount of his platinum records were a few very abstract paintings in very bold, bright colors. In addition to the couch, there were two chairs, also leopard print. The coffeetable was a fish tank with a greenish light in it. Shaking her head, she couldnt believe how "Real World-ish" his living room was. Her eyes swept over the wall that was painted bright yellow, and she noticed that he had put up a bunch of pictures.
Of course, there were pics of him and the guys, him and his mom, grandparents and various other family members that she had met throughout their relationship. There were a few pictures of him with Panda and Bear, which made her laugh. She knew that she could never compete with "Ajs puppies". As if they read her thoughts, Kayla saw the two little furry blurs go streaking across the living room, jumped up onto the couch and finally, curled up in her lap. As she stroked Panda's fur, she continued looking at the pictures. She was amazed when she saw a familiar picture. She knew that there were pictures of her up on the wall, but she never expected to see "that" picture. It was the same picture of her and AJ during rehearsel that she had cried over, her favorite picture of the two of them.
She was still looking at the picture when she felt a kiss on her lips. She came out of her daze and felt herself getting lost again, lost in his deep brown eyes. The kiss lasted for a while and when he finally broke away, there was a smile on each of their faces. Smiling mischieviously, she said, "I think the sauce needs a bit more oregano." She watched as AJ arched one of his eyebrows up and looked at her. "Hmmmm, you think?" Something in the look on his face made Kayla break out into laughter. The next thing she knew she was being swept up into AJs arms and carried into the kitchen, with Panda and Bear trailing behind, barking happily.
Chel closed her eyes and tried to let herself relax. She opened her eyes and looked at the clock for the thousandth time in that hour. 3:42 am. Dammit, Im never going to fall asleep, she thought to herself. She had been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours, but all she could do was listen to Nick's breathing. Feeling him that close to her should have given her a sense of security, but all it did was make her nervous. They had slept in the same bed alot of times, but all of this was new to her. New house, new way of life.
She felt Nick stirring beside her and she turned to face him. She saw that his eyes were open and then heard him say, "Hey, what are you still doing awake?" She felt a smile creep across her lips and watched as Nick moved his face closer to hers. Between his soft kisses, she explained that she couldnt fall asleep. It was sweet they way Nick asked her questions about why. "Well, Am i being too loud? Are you uncomfortable? Did i hog the blanket again?" She laughed at his efforts, but she couldnt explain to him why. She didnt even know why herself.
Somewhere around that time, Chel must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, she heard the sound of the shower running and the bed was empty beside her. Yawning, she sat up in the bed and listened to Nicks singing in the shower.
"...and being apart aint easy on this love affair, two strangers learn to fall in love again, i get the joy of rediscovering you, oh girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours--faithfully..." Chel recognized the song as one of Nick's favorites. "Faithfully", by Journey. She listened to not only Nick's voice, but what the words were. It made her realize that soon Nick would be leaving again. She didnt know what would happen on the Boys next tour and automatically her thoughts went to Kayla. It just wasnt fair, Kayla was supposed to be dancing with the Boys again, just like before. Deep down, she knew that was impossible.
"Whats wrong, Chel?" Nick's concerned voice made Chel's thoughts subside. "I was just thinking about when you leave." Laughing, she added, "I dont like that thought." Nick walked across the room and stood facing her. There were still water droplets dripping from his hair and Chel reached out to move one of the wet strands from his eyes. "Why don't you come with us, you dont have to stay here. I don't want you staying here alone." The thought excited her, but only for a second. She wanted to go with him, she loved the excitement of the tour, but she wouldnt leave Kayla here by herself.
"Nick, I want to, but...well, I cant leave Kay..." "You think Aj's gonna let her stay here when we go? No no Chel, dont worry, she'll be with us." Although Nick's eyes were shining and his tone was playful, Chel couldnt shake the feeling that it wasnt going to be as easy as he said. She knew Kayla. Being around everybody, the dancers, the Boys, and even being around AJ would be hard for her on the road. She was about to voice this to Nick when she felt his hand underneath her chin, lifting her face to his. "Chel, we arent going to leave for a couple of months. Dont worry about it now. We'll work it out, ok? It'll be ok, I promise." Staring into his eyes, she started to believe that maybe, everything would work itself out.
AJ sat in the hard umcomfortable chair, his thoughts on so many things at once. In less than a week, the tour was set to begin. Usually, he would have been driving the other guys crazy waiting to get back on the road. This time was different. This time there was no other place he wanted to be than right here in Orlando. Kayla refused to come on the road with them. He understood her view and he respected it. He just wished it could be different.
He thought about how just after the tour, three weeks exactly, Kayla will become Mrs. Alexander McLean. The way it was arranged it was exactly a year to the date of when they first met. Some would consider this a short time, but to the two of them it was a lifetime. They had seen the good and the bad times together and had survived. AJ knew that he could never love anybody other than Kayla. His thoughts were interrupted by somebody clearing their throat right in front of him, as if trying to be noticed without causing attention.
Figuring it was a fan, AJ looked up and was surprised to see a young man in his twenties looking back at him. "Can I help you?" There was a look in the young mans eyes that AJ could not read, nervousness, sadness but most of all fear. AJ watched him expectantly and again asked, "Is there something i can do for you?" The man looked behind him and AJ saw that he was twisting the bottom of his shirt. Like he did when he was nervous. "I...um, well...you dont...you dont know me but my name is Steve. Steve Johnson."
Steve paused while AJ just continued to stare. For some reason, that name was a name he had heard before, but he couldnt remember from where. "I dont know where to begin or how to tell you this, but i need to tell you that I'm sorry. For everything. I never meant for anything like this to happen, it was just one night..." It was at that moment that AJ remembered where he had heard the name Steve Johnson. It was in the police report, the one Officer Phillips had shown him. The one on the person driving the car that night.
"Get away from me." AJ kept his voice low, toneless. He could feel his heart beating double time and he swallowed to push back the sickening feeling that overcame him. He dropped his head and began to study his hands. Steve was still talking about how he wished that he had never gone out drinking that night, that he could take back everything that happened. AJ heard his voice, repeating that he was sorry over and over again. He let Steve continue until he could no longer take it.
He stood up, looking Steve directly in the eyes. "I told you to get away from me. I dont want to hear your apologies, they mean nothing to me. All they are is a way so that you can ease your guilty conscience. I wont let that happen. You fucked up, and almost killed my fiancee'. Now your asking my forgiveness? Ha. I wont lie to you, i pity your position. Living day after day with what you did. It almost makes me feel sorry for you. Almost, but then i look at my fiancee and see her dreams shattered..."
AJ was interrupted by the doctor calling his name. "We're all done, you can go and see her now." He nodded a thank you to the doctor and turned his head back to Steve. "I do have one last thing to say to you. It makes me sick to think that you are free. Out and able to walk the streets. In my eyes, your a monster. I appreciate your taking time to come and find me, find us, but dont do it again. I wont ease your mind. Now, if youll excuse me, i have to go. My fiancee needs me." With those last few words, AJ quickly turned and followed the doctor down the hall.
He had to pause in front of her door, letting his breathing return to normal. It had taken every ounce of self control he had to keep from lashing his fist out and showing Steve what real pain was. He had wanted to make him hurt, like Kayla hurt, like he himself hurt everyday seeing Kayla's dreams shattered. He wanted to make him feel pain like he had never felt before, but he knew that it wouldnt help anything. AJ knew that violence was not the way to handle the situation and so he used what he did best. His voice. Laughing bitterly at the fact that Steve had come begging their forgiveness, he opened the door and smiled when he saw Kayla lying on the bed, asleep.
It had frightened him when she started getting the pains in her legs again and he wished that it would just stop. Like last time, he knew that this was just a false hope for her, even though he would have loved for it to be real. He worried about her being here alone while he was on tour. Although Chel would be staying at the house with her, it wasnt the same. Kayla would not be there with him, where he needed her to be. Thoughts of the coming week consumed him as he made his way to the chair by Kayla's bed and sat down. Staring down at her sleeping form, he smiled. She looks like an angel when she sleeps, he thought. Bending down over the bed, he leaned toward her and let his lips first graze her forehead then her lips.
He watched her as she moved slightly, opening her eyes. "AJ? Baby..." In almost a whisper, he spoke to her. "Shhh...you dont have to talk. I'm right here, i'm not going any where." There was something in her eyes that AJ had not seen for a long long time. A sense of hope, a shine that he had missed for so long. Although still sleepy, Kayla sat up in the bed and turned to stare right into her fiance's eyes. She needed to tell him. "AJ, baby. Theres something that you need to know..."
Get your own Free Home Page