Chel laid back in the bed as she waited for Nick to come back into the room. He was taking care of a few things so that she could be released from the hospital. Thank God, she thought. She would have gone insane if she had to stay in this room for one more day. The only thing that she felt bad about was that Kayla wasnt coming home with her. As she thought about her friend, she let a sigh escape her lips. Kayla had been awake for over a week, but sadly, everybody's worst fears had been confirmed. Kayla could not feel anything from her waist down.
Chel had only talked to her once since she had woken up, sneaking out of her room one night. It was on that night that she had watched her best friend, the stronger of the two of them, break down in tears. She had done her best to comfort her, but felt that everything she said brought hollow, empty promises. Chel knew her friend well enough to know that she was trying her best to put up a front, especially in front of AJ. She knew Kayla hated having him fuss over her, but was worried that her front would eventually destroy her friend inside.
"Ready to go?" Chel watched as nick crossed the room and stood next to the bed, watching her. He was smiling and his eyes sparkled as he talked. He held out his jacket for her and in his other hand he held her release papers. All she had to do was sign them and she could leave. After doing that, she carefully stood up from the bed, leaning slightly on Nicks arm. Once standing, she slipped on his jacket and looked up into his eyes. "Thank you. Not just for the jacket, but for being here." Chel watched, confused, as the smile faded from Nicks face and an expression she couldnt read replaced it. Before she could ask what was wrong, she was pulled into his arms with a force that surprised her. Shocked at first, she quickly surrendered to his embrace. "Chel, i dont know what i would have done if i had lost you."
She heard the pain and fright in his voice and pulled out of his arms slightly. Seeing the hurt expression he was giving her, she placed a kiss on his lips. She held her gaze on his eyes, then pulled away again. "Nick, dont dwell on the past and the "what if's". Im here in your arms, thats all that matters." Making her tone more light she added, "Now can we blow this popstand?" This broke the somber moment in the room and they both broke out into a fit of laughter as they walked out of the room together.
Kayla was lying on her bed looking out the window. The sun was shining brightly and there wasnt a cloud in the sky. She had always loved days like this, but today it just made the pain and anger she held inside grow stronger. She took her eyes from the window and looked around the room that had become her home. The grey walls, the tv, the machine beside her bed, humming ever so softly...all had become familiar to her.
She dared to rest her gaze on the end of the bed. She remembered the doctors somber voice that night, delivering the news that broke her heart. "Ms. Davis, you are very lucky to even be sitting here talking to us right now." They had waited to tell her until they felt she was stable enough to handle it. She had already known that something wasnt right. As much as she tried, she couldnt move her legs, she couldnt even feel them. At first she thought it was one of the pain killers they had given her, but that night was the night they told her. "There is a large amount of swelling at the base of your spine, we have to run a few more tests to know for sure." Kayla had interrupted him, demanding answers. "Why dont my legs hurt? Why cant I feel anything? Whats wrong with me?" She already knew the answer, but needed to hear him actually say the words. "Kayla, I'm sorry, but we arent sure if you will be able to walk again."
The words echoed in her head as she lay in her hospital bed, staring down at her legs. She couldnt tear her eyes away. Dancing was her life, and now, because of a drunk driver, a God-Damned drunk driver, she couldnt even walk. It would have been better if he'd killed me, she thought. As that thought ran through her head, she did what she had done over a million times that week. Staring at her feet, she concentrated on her toes, willing them to move. Frustrated, she sank back onto her pillow, it hadnt worked, she knew it wouldnt. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled out, flowing freely down her cheeks. Suddenly upset at herself, she furiously wiped the tears away with her sleeve. She hadnt let enybody see her cry except for Chel, she didnt want anybody's pity. You gotta be strong Kayla, she scolded herself. Laughing bitterly, she replayed that thought in her mind. "What the hell for?" Her cry echoed through the empty room. She grabbed the tv remote and shot it across the room, watching it hit the wall and fall to the floor.
She hadnt heard Aj come into the room and wondered how much of her outburst he had seen. If he had seen any of it, he didnt comment. He walked the rest of the way into the room and sat down in the chair by the bed like he had done every other day during the past week. "Hey baby!" She stared at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to think. Before the accident, they had been so in love. She still did love him, but now she felt like she was holding him back. His voice broke through her thoughts again. "Kayla? You ok?" She glanced at her legs again then quickly looked at AJ. "Yeah, im alright.", she told him softly. She didnt want to say anything else, truthfully, she didnt know what to say to him. An awkward silence filled the room as both of them searched for something to say. Kayla knew that AJ was trying his best to be there for her, she loved him for it, but in the back of her mind, she saw the pity on his face.
Shaking that thought from her head, she made herself sound as cheerful as she could. "Chel told me she was gonna be able to go home today. Did they let her?" She watched AJ nod as he began talking. "Yeah everythings cool with her so they let her leave. She was gonna stop in before she left, but you were sleeping. Nick promised that they would come back later." "Cool.", was all Kayla could think of to say and the room became silent again.
She could feel AJ watching her as she nervously played around with her necklace, the key to AJs heart. Fingering the charm, she thought back to her birthday when he had given her the necklace. She would do anything to turn back time and go back to that moment. Her eyes flooded with tears at the cold reality that she couldnt go back and before she could stop them, they spilled over onto her cheeks. She turned her head quickly, she didnt want AJ to see her cry. As she wiped the tears away, she felt his hand on her shoulder, making the tears come faster. "Baby please dont cry. Im here, Im always gonna be here. We are gonna get you walking again, believe me."
Kayla felt each word he said, not knowing what to say back. She knew he loved her and she loved him, but she wondered if that was enough. Her mind was filled with different thoughts and emotions, bitterness, anger, sadness, pain, love, but she still saw the pity in his eyes. She didnt know if she was imagining it, she was so confused. She felt AJs arms surround her and at first buried her head on his chest. It always felt safe in his arms, but she knew she needed time. Time to think things through and figure things out. She pulled away from him and looked at him. His eyes were burning into hers as she told him, "AJ, no. Please understand, I want to be alone for a while." Kayla watched the hurt register on his face as he stood up and walked to the door. He turned back once, looking at her with sadness in his eyes, "I love you, Kayla." She looked down at the blanket and said nothing. She heard him sigh and quickly looked up, seeing his retreating figure walk out of her room.
AJ walked down the hall, looking down at his feet the whole time. He thought about what had just happened and wondered what he had said to upset her. He couldnt imagine what Kayla was going through, but he knew she was stong. If anybody can get through it she can, he thought. He wasnt about to let her go through it alone though. He would be there for whatever she needed. It had scared him seeing her break down like she had and all he wanted to do was comfort her. He had watched just outside of the door as she yelled into the air and threw the remote. He knew she was scared and frustrated, and he was determined to make sure she got the best doctors and care.
He was still running the scene in kayla's room in his mind as he walked into the waiting room. He sat down and looked at Kayla's mom. Like AJ, she had stayed at the hospital everyday. The two had become close, both admiring the strength the other had shown throughout the ordeal. AJ looked at her as she began to speak. "AJ, i told you, your eyes betray you. What happened?" Sighing, he recounted the whole scene to Kayla's mother, hoping she could make sense of it. He watched as her eyes shifted down to her hands, then looked him straight in the eye. "AJ, im assuming you know how stubborn and hardheaded Kayla can be." He laughed as she continued, her tone turning serious. "I dont know if she told you, but when things got bad when she was younger, she would get depressed. She would push everybody that cared about her away. Im worried that she is starting to do that now, especially after what you just told me."
AJ watched Kayla's mother in disbelief. Kayla had never told her any of this and he understood now why she had reacted the way she did. He looked again at Kayla's mom and gave her a reassuring hug. "Dont worry, Mrs. Davis. im as stubborn and hard headed as she is. Nothings gonna happen, except that she's gonna get better. I know she will and Im gonna be here for both of you every step of the way." As he said the words, he couldnt shake the sinking feeling that was beginning to over power him. he heard in his head something that his mother used to tell him after he would lose an audition or talent competition. "Dont worry, Alex, sometimes you just gotta wait out the bad to be able to get to the good." He sat back in his chair as he wondered what was still to come, the good or the bad.
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