AJ walked down the hall and paused in front of the door of room 319, taking in a deep breath. Nows not the time to turn coward, he told himself as he turned the knob and pushed open the door. He listened to the soft creak it made as he took a couple of tentative steps into the room. He couldnt find it within himself to look directly at her yet, instead his gaze moved quickly from machine to machine. Each one sending a lifeline to part of Kayla's body. Finding the courage, he trailed one of the wires down to her arm, then swept his gaze to her face.
When he looked at her for the first time, AJ was amazed at what he saw. She lay there looking like she was sleeping, nothing more. He stood in the doorway, unable to move as he looked her up and down. He wanted nothing more than to run to her and put his arms around her, but he couldnt, he felt frozen in the spot in front of the door. Her face looked so peaceful. Like an angel, he thought. He saw a bruise on her forehead, and a couple of scratches trailing down her cheek but nothing else. Her eyes were closed tightly, and he had to look away. He saw the chair next to the bed and willed himself towards it and sat down.
He watched her face expectantly, waiting for her to open her eyes and to see the recognition on her face. He continued his stare, as if willing her to wake up would be all it would take. Taking her hand in his, he was shocked at how cold it felt. He paused for a few seconds, taking in the silence of the room, then began talking. "Hey baby!" He was amazed at how his voice could sound so cheerful, wondering where this fake enthusiasm had come from. "I just got here and came as quick as they would let me come to see you. Almost had to take out a couple of nurses though." Again, he paused, wanting to hear her laugh, but knowing he wouldnt. "But they wouldnt tell me how you were doing. Your mom is the person who told them to let me come see you. You already know she's here, but Ryan is to. I think she's trying to steal Kevin away from Paula, but i wont tell if you dont." This was getting harder to just carry on normal conversation with her, but he didnt know what else to say. "You'll be happy to know that Chel is awake and I think she's gonna be alright. Nick is with her right now." He searched Kayla's face for any indication that she could hear him, but saw nothing.
Frustrated, AJ sat back in his chair, sighing. He didnt know what to say, the words he wanted to say had gotten stuck in his throat. He wanted to tell her that he needed her there with him as much as she needed him. He wanted to tell her that he would do anything to take away her pain, that he wished it was him in the hospital bed, not her. Different emotions were floating around his head as that last thought echoed in his mind, bringing a lone tear to his eye. He felt the path it made as it slid down his cheek, cold against his skin. He watched as it finally dropped onto Kayla's hand, which was still intertwined in his.
Dammit AJ, he scolded himself, dont break down now, youve gotta be strong for...Something made his thought stop short. He looked down at the hand that held Kayla's, to confirm that he actually felt what he thought he did. Hope and excitement flowed through him when he saw that her hand had closed around two of his fingers. His excitement was short lived when he saw that her face still held that angelic mask. But she moved her hand, he thought. He knew he should tell someone but didnt want to leave her side. AJ saw the pager button for the nurses station above Kayla's bed and reached for it. Pressing the button, he heard an answer. "Yes?" "She grabbed my hand! Kayla grabbed my hand!!" He heard muffled talking on the other end of the speaker, then an answer. "Dr. Johnson is on his way." Then it went silent.
A few minutes later, AJ watched as a doctor walked into the room. "She grabbed my hand!" AJ motioned to where Kayla was still gripping two of his fingers. He watched as the doctor checked Kayla's eyes and a few things on one of the machines. Dr. Johnson gave AJ a knowing look. "Mr. McLean, i know what it looks like to you and it very well could have been her responding to you in some way. In cases like Kayla's, its not uncommon for there to be involuntary reactions also, kind of like a muscle spasm. I dont know exactly what this is, but we are doing everything we can for her." The doctor paused and AJ was lost in thought. He already knew what it was, Kayla had heard him and had felt his tear, he was sure of it. He looked back up at the doctor who was still talking. "Officer Phillips needs to talk to you, should i tell him to come in?" AJ nodded and brought his gaze back to Kayla. He heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door.
"AJ, we found the driver of the other car." Officer Phillips pulled up the other chair so that he was facing AJ. "After the accident, he fled the scene. Unfortunately, the alcohol content in his blood was more than three times above the legal limit. He caused a second accident, which is how we were able to catch him." AJ looked up at the older man, not fully comprehending what he was being told. "Are you saying that some drunk asshole did this to her? Where is he right now? I'll make sure he doesnt live long enough to breathe let alone drink OR drive again."
AJ couldnt stop the stream of rage he felt making its way throughout his body. His thoughts whirlwinded through his mind. We've found the guy...drunk driver...second accident...He began to get up needing to come face to face with the animal who did this, but something was stopping him. It was another voice. She needs you there with her, it told her. Feeling defeated, he sat back down knowing it was better that he stayed where he was, but he was having trouble dealing with the hate that was growing stronger each time he thought about it.
He watched as Officer Phillips got up to leave. Aj looked at him, letting three simple words escape his lips. "Make him pay!" Officer Phillips nodded, assuring AJ that he would. He turned to walk out of the room, then paused. AJ watched as he walked back over to him, holding out a card. "Its got my phone numbers, both at the office and at home. Dont hesitate to call, for anything." AJ took the card, slipping it into his pocket and thanked him.
Watching the officers retreating figure, AJ looked back at Kayla's face. It was still unchanged, and he settled back into the chair, letting out a deep sigh. He wasnt sure how long he sat there, the hours were fading into each other. He was afraid to let his mind wander to far, fearing the thoughts he would think. Still sitting in the chair, sleep began to take over. AJ felt his eyes slowly closing, his last sight was of kayla's face. Holding tight to her hand, he drifted off into a restless sleep.
Chel heard two voices, one familiar and one unfamiliar even before she opened her eyes. The first voice she knew was Nicks but she was listening to the second unfamiliar voice now. "And I think it would be best if we waited to tell her." Opening her eyes, she blinked a few times, trying to get the images around her to focus. "Tell me what?" She was surprised when her voice came out as nothing more than a whisper.
No sooner were the words out of her mouth then she saw Nick turn and race to her side. She saw that his face was a mask of worry as he met her eyes. "Hey Chel! How are ya feeling? Do you need anything?" Clearing her throat, she told him, "Nick, all i need right now is you by my side. Dont leave." She watched him sit down in the chair and tried to turn toward him. She was stopped by a tugging in her arm, caused by the IV that was running into her arm. She looked up at Nick as he began explaining her condition. "Chel, you're gonna be alright. The doctors say you were lucky. You've got a couple cracked ribs, a punctured lung, and a broken wrist. A few scratches and bumps here and there, but your gonna be fine." She saw the smile on his face and almost laughed. She would have if it didnt make her whole body hurt.
A thought came to Chel as she listened to Nick, he hadnt mentioned Kayla at all. "Nick, hows Kayla doing?" She watched as Nick exchanged a glance with the doctor, then look back at her. She saw him start to bite his bottom lip and knew she was about to be given a lie. "Shes doing alright chel. Right now, we need to make sure you get better." She watched as Nick hung his head guiltily. "Alright Nick, you know you were lying and I know you were lying. Wanna tell me the truth now?" Chel watched as Nick raised his head, his blue-green eyes meeting hers. "Chel, we should wait until you're feeling better, then you can go see her yourself." She knew he was trying his best to avoid telling her Kayla's condition, but she needed to know. "Nick, please tell me. Is Kayla OK?" "She's not awake yet, Chel. The doctor says that if and when she does, she's gonna be paralyzed from the waist down."
Chel felt each of Nicks words hitting her as if they were bricks. "Oh my God.", was all she could get out as the tears sprang to her eyes, threatening to spill out at any second. The cold realization was hitting her as Nicks words echoed in her mind...not awake yet...if and when...paralyzed... Chel knew that would destroy Kayla, if she did wake up. They would all have to be strong for her. A thought occured to her. "Hows AJ dealing with it?" Nick shook his head. "Not so good, he's refusing to leave her side. Not that I blame him, but im worried about him. We all are." Chel nodded in agreement, her heart going out to her two friends down the hall.
It was a week later and AJ was still holding his vigil by Kayla's bedside. He had only left a couple of times, never more than fifteen minutes. The guys had come in one at a time, trying to get him to eat, or go home and change into more comfortable clothes. He declined all of their offers, until hunger overcame him and he agreed to grab some food with Nick. Thinking back, he wished he hadnt gone. It was another one of those moments where I lost control, he thought as the memory of the night before came back to him.
"Bone, at least lets go grab some food. You need to eat." AJ sat in the chair, refusing to move. He knew Nick was right as he felt his stomach begging him for food, but he was afraid to leave Kayla's side. Reluctantly, he agreed to go with Nick. He stood up, shakily at first, and leaned on Nick as they walked into the hallway. He saw the rest of the guys sitting in the waiting room and watched as both Howie and Brian stood up. He saw them both sit back down and saw Nick shaking his head, as if telling them, "Not yet."
They stopped walking and AJ found himself across the hall from a vending machine. Nick put in a few coins and pressed one of the buttons. AJ just stared at his friend almost in shock as a memory hit him. He watched the scene replay in his mind...Kayla kicking the vending machine, seeing her smile for the first time, the way she laughed when she saw his shades and the comment she made, "Your either a vampire or recovering from a hangover, both being very bad." It was too much for him and before Nick could do anything, AJ lunged for the vending machine, hitting, kicking and screaming with a vengence that scared even himself. It was like he couldnt control what he was doing, his pent up rage taking over.
He heard Nick yelling for him to stop, then felt his friends grip tighten around his waist, pulling him away. He wasnt done yet and roughly pushed Nick away from him. He concentrated on the driver of the car, the drunk asshole, the one who had put Kayla in that hospital bed. He soon heard the voices of the other guys and voices he assumed were doctors. He felt the strength leaving his body as his attack on the vending machine slowed to a stop. Looking at what he had done and the look on his friends faces, he felt something snap inside him. Dropping to his knees he began to cry.
Thinking back now as he sat beside Kayla's bed it was good that he let himself cry. Kevin had led him to an empty section of the waiting room and sat with him as he let out all of his pent up emotions. After he was finished he felt like a weight had lifted from his shoulders. The only thing he regretted was pushing Nick the way he did. He found out later that he had pushed him so hard that he hit the wall, causing a mild concussion. Nick insisted that it was ok, that he understood, but AJ still felt bad. That night had been a turning point for him and he knew what he had to do.
Tonight, he thought, is the last night i am gonna spend sitting in this chair. He looked at Kayla, seeing the same mask he had seen there for the past week. He stood up slightly and let his lips find hers. When they did, he placed a soft kiss on them and sat back down. He grabbed her hand and began to sing softly.
~~~Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely, All of my hopes, fading away, Ive longed for love, like everyone else does, I know I'll keep searching, even after today, so there it is girl, I've said it all now, and here we are babe, what do you say...We've got tonight, who needs tomorrow, we've got tonight baby, why dont you stay~~~
He let the last words falter on his tongue. He had never sung that song to her before, although he had listened to it millions of times. It was their song. Somehow tonight, nothing was more appropriate. He sat back, lost in his thoughts, so lost that he hadnt noticed the slight movement on the bed. Something made him look at her face and he felt a cry escape his lips when he saw that Kayla's eyes were open. He turned away, thinking it was his mind playing tricks on him. He heard the voice, no more than a whisper, but to him it rang loud and clear.
"AJ? Is that you? I heard you singing and..." That was all it took for him as he put his arms carefully around her the best he could. "Oh baby. Im here. I'll always be here." He pushed the pager button above the bed, telling them to send a doctor in right away. The whole time he refused to let her go, not caring about anything except that he had kayla back. What he didnt know then was that it was going to take all of his strength to keep her there.
Get your own Free Home Page