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Blondes: returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio... |
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Darwin Awards 2003: as you probably already know, the Darwin awards are awarded annually for the most extreme act of (occasionally terminal) stupidity. They are now in for 2003... |
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Social Security Sex: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security Sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"... |
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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too... by Rudyard Kipling |
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"How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?..." by Chief Seattle |
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Quotes from the past: An absolute can only be given in an intuition, while all the rest has to do with analysis. We call intuition here the sympathy by which one is transported into the interior of an object in order to coincide with what there is unique and consequently inexpressible in it... - Henri Bergson |
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30 Years Difference 1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut; 2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved - 1974: Passing the driver's test; 2004: Passing the vision test... |
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I've learned .... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. I've learned that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned that money doesn't buy class... |
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The gift of life: on the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years... |
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