30 Years Difference

1974: Long hair

2004: Longing for hair

1974: The perfect high

2004: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1974: KEG

2004: EKG

1974: Acid rock

2004: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it's cool

2004: Moving to California because it's warm

1974: Growing pot

2004: Growing pot belly

1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1974: Seeds and stems

2004: Roughage

1974: Killer weed

2004: Weed killer

1974: Hoping for a BMW

2004: Hoping for a BM

1974: The Grateful Dead

2004: Dr. Kevorkian

1974: Going to a new, hip joint

2004: Receiving a new hip joint

1974: Rolling Stones

2004: Kidney Stones

1974: Being called into the principal's office

2004: Calling the principal's office

1974: Screw the system

2004: Upgrade the system

1974: Disco

2004: Costco

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the driver's test

2004: Passing the vision test

1974: Whatever

2004: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things : The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1986. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced the year they were born. They have always had an answering machine. They have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are! They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane". They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is. McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies in your life, and don't forget the youngins so they can see what the stone age was like.