| Chapter 43 Nick looked at himself in the mirror. He had been given the green light to go home and was getting ready. He'd already showered and shaved with the electric razor Diane brought him. He had just put his clothes on, and was now staring at himself. He sighed, noting how pale he still looked and how tired he was just from getting ready. He worried he wouldn't have enough strength to carry out his plan, but he couldn't wait. If he had to endure one more day he knew he'd lose his mind. The episodes would start again and he'd be right back here in the padded room. That absolutely could not happen. He looked down at his wrist. The bandage had been removed, only the brace remained. The stitches looked horrific but they were healing. I still can't believe I did that, he thought. "Son, you doing alright in there?" Bob asked from the other side of the door. Nick turned and opened it, walking over to the bed and sitting down. Bob followed him, taking his shoes and placing them on his feet, tying them for him. "You know, you used to ask me to tie your shoes when you were little," he said, smiling, "You never wanted your mom to do it, only me." Nick smiled down at his dad, as he finished and stood up. "Well, I think we got everything. I'll go tell the nurse that you're ready," he said. Nick grabbed his hand, making Bob turn back around. Thank you for everything. I love you, he typed. Bob leaned down and pulled Nick into a hug, "I love you too son." Nick smiled as his dad held him for a moment. He felt secure, safe in his father's embrace. They had always hugged, that's just the way they were, but there was something special about this particular hug. The raw emotion in it � a father happy to have his son back after almost losing him, and a son thankful for his fathers love. After a moment Bob let him go and stood up, clearing his throat, "Um I'll be right back." Nick nodded, watching as he left the room. He tried to get his mind straight. He knew when they wheeled him out that everyone would be there, including John. He needed to make sure that no one saw anything that would tip them off that something was wrong. He took a couple deep breaths as he waited. OK, this is it. You gotta act like nothing's wrong, that you and John are friends, and you're glad to be going home, he told himself. He was glad to be going home, but he dreaded it too. He was afraid to go into his bathroom, afraid that if he did, the memories would come back. But he knew no matter how much he didn't want to do it, he had to. He couldn't live the rest of his life afraid of his own house. I could move, he thought, but soon dismissed the idea. He loved his house, that's why he bought it. No he wasn't leaving his house, but he knew someone that was. After tomorrow John would no longer be a part of his life, one way or another. Bob walked back into the room, pulling Nick from his thoughts. "Nurse said someone would be down in a minute," he said. Nick nodded, "K." Bob sat next to him on the bed, noticing how nervous Nick seemed. "Don't be nervous," he said. Nick looked at him and smiled: Who's here? "Diane, Brian, Kevin, John, Howie and A.J.," he recited. D. and A.J.? Bob nodded, "They came in last night. Said they stayed away as long as they could, and since Bri and Kev were here, they decided to come too." Nick took a deep breath. "Son, I know it's hard to face them, but just remember, they all love you. That's why they're here, OK?" Bob said. Nick nodded: I know. I'm lucky to have so many people that care about me. Bob smiled, "Son, the entire world cares about you. You have the biggest support group any human being could ever ask for." Nick grinned as the orderly came in with Dr. McKenna. "I'm going to walk out with you, if you don't mind," the doctor said. Nick shook his head, sliding off the bed and taking a seat in the wheel chair. Bob grabbed the few things Nick had in the room and followed them. The orderly pushed Nick down the hall and into the waiting room. Everyone got up, smiles on their faces. It was awkward for a second, no one really knew what to say. Brian pushed himself over, "To bad your hand is hurt or I'd race ya down the hall." Nick laughed. Leave it to Brian to cure awkward moments. Nick stood up and was instantly engulfed in a group hug from the guys. Brian and Diane watched them, glancing at one another and smiling. It truly was a sight. Kevin, Howie and A.J. all in tears, and Nick trying his best not to be. After a few minutes, they finally got the tears under control and let Nick go. Nick looked over to see John standing to the side. He walked over and hugged him. John was completely shocked, but quickly covered it, hugging Nick back. "I'm glad you're doing better," John said. Nick stepped back and nodded. He then walked back over to his chair and grabbed his computer, typing as he walked back over to John. I'm sorry I did that in front of you. I wasn't seeing you, I was seeing him. Please forgive me? John was speechless for a moment. This turn around in Nick was unforseen, and surprising to say the least. "Um yeah sure buddy," he said. Nick smiled at him and John thought his heart was going to melt right there. Dr. McKenna walked over, glancing at Nick's computer and seeing what he said. Nick smiled to himself, he knew the doc would do that, and wanted this to seem as real as possible. "Nick, I want you in my office at nine in the morning, alright?" Dr. McKenna said. Nick nodded, "K." "Alright, let's get you outta here and home then," he said. Nick walked back over to his chair and sat down, taking Diane's hand in his as he was pushed down the hall to the elevators. The group left the hospital and traveled back to Nick's house. Nick walked into his house and looked around. It smelled of cleaners and air freshener. All the carpets had been cleaned, as well as the upholstery. His sisters were in the kitchen, making lunch for everyone. They all stopped and ran for Nick when they saw him. "We missed you," Leslie said. B.J. and Angel just hugged him, to emotional for words. Nick smiled at them, wanting them to know he was alright and they didn't need to worry. He pointed to himself, "I ... K." They smiled at their big brother, knowing he was trying to make them feel better. "We made you your favorite for lunch," Angel said. Nick grinned, heading into the kitchen with them. "We put extra cheese on it too," B.J. said. Nick looked down at the home made pizzas cooling on the counter and smiled, It's good to be home. The entire group stayed the rest of the day. They watched movies, talked, ate, then watched more movies and repeated the cycle. Nick wanted them there, and was glad that everyone, including John, stayed till late that night. Nick knew that Brian hadn't had time to look at his picture. He would've known if he had, just by the look on his face. But that look wasn't there, and so Nick's plan was going well at the moment. Everyone was getting ready to leave. Nick walked with them to the door, stopping John. Come tomorrow. John had to literally keep his mouth from dropping open, "Are you sure? You just got out of the hospital, why don't you take some time before we start our sessions again?" Nick shook his head, I want to start tomorrow. "What's up?" Diane asked. "Nick wants to start therapy tomorrow," John said. Diane looked at him, "Are you sure you don't want to take some time off?" Nick shook his head, I've already taken to much time off. I want to do this. Diane looked at John, "Well I guess we'll see you tomorrow then. Regular time?" John nodded, "Sure. I'll see you then." Brian wheeled himself over, purposely bumping into Nick. Nick looked down, knowing Brian was playing with him. Brian smiled, "You shouldn't get in my way ya know. I've been known to take out a few toes here and there." Nick laughed, moving behind Brian and pushing him out to the car, popping wheelies with him on way. Kevin and Diane followed them, along with A.J. and Howie. "Where you guys staying?" she asked. "With Kev," Howie answered. "Yeah the house they rented is phat," A.J. said. Diane laughed as Nick leaned Brian back in the chair, not letting him up, Brian protesting profusely. "Seems they're back on track with each other," Kevin said. "Yeah," she agreed. She hadn't seen Nick smile this much in a very long time, and she knew it was because Brian was there, alleviating some of the pain. "Well, we'll call tomorrow after Nick's therapy and see if he's up for doing anything," Howie said. "OK, see you guys then," she said, giving them all a hug. Nick finally released Brian and went back to stand with Diane as they got in the car and backed down the driveway, followed by Bob and the girls. Nick watched them go, waving at them one last time before turning to go back in the house. Briefly he wondered if that would be the last time he'd see them, but pushed it out of his mind. His plan was going well so far, no need to jinx it. He and Diane walked back into the house. Nick shut the door and grabbed her hand, pulling her to him and kissed her passionately. After a moment they broke the kiss, both in need of air. Diane looked up at him, wondering what was going on in his head. He hadn't been affectionate with her in a long time, and she understood why, but this all of a sudden was a pleasant shock. And it made her wonder. He smiled at her and pulled her to him again, taking her mouth with his own, savoring the taste of her lips. The way they felt against his. Then he deepened the kiss, pressing his tongue into her mouth and exploring every inch of it. Diane moaned at the sensation, loving the way he felt in her arms. She pulled back, "Baby are you sure about this?" He nodded, desire and love beaming from his eyes. Diane smiled, walking behind him and setting the alarm and turning off the lights. She took his hand and lead him upstairs. Nick paused at the door to his bedroom. He had avoided coming up here all day, and now he wasn't so sure he could go in. Diane sensed his hesitance and turned on the light. She watched as Nick slowly walked into the room, looking around. Everything looked normal. There was no sign that anything at all had happened. He cautiously walked into the bathroom, switching on the light. It was sparkling clean, everything in it's place. So different from the last time he was in here. Every piece of physical evidence of what he'd done was gone, just like it had never happened. In a way Nick was glad it had happened though. It gave him time to think, time to sort things out and come up with his plan. Wether or not it worked still remained to be seen, but he was hopeful anyway. And that was something he didn't have any of the last time he stood in this room. Diane walked up next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He looked down at her and smiled. "You alright?" she asked, seeing something in his eyes she couldn't place. He nodded, reaching up and brushing her hair off her shoulders. "Nick, promise me something," she said, "Promise me that you'll tell me everything that's bothering you. I don't want you to let it go and it get so bad you can't handle it again, OK?" He cupped her cheek with his hand and stared deep into her hazel eyes, I promise after tomorrow, I'll tell you everything, he thought. "I ... do," he said, still not able to make himself say anything other than the simplest of words. Diane smiled, "I love you baby, so much." Nick leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. Then he pulled back and captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Slowly they backed out of the bathroom and across the room to the bed, never breaking the kiss. They were both so caught up in the moment that when they ran into the bed they fell over on it, Nick landing on top of Diane. Both giggled for a moment, then the giggles turned to lustful stares. Nick situated himself over her, pulling her up onto the bed more. He'd been afraid to let himself feel this for so long, but now he needed it. He needed to feel her touch, her kiss. He wasn't sure why it was all coming back as quickly as it was, other than the fear of something going wrong. He needed to show her how much he loved her, needed to give himself to her if only for tonight. He wanted her to know that no matter what happened, that he loved her more than anything in this world. More than a thousand words could ever say. He leaned down and kissed her, softly at first, then as the moments passed, more passionately. Their hands roamed each others bodies, desperate to feel one another after so long. Clothes were quickly discarded as the fire between them burned with an intensity that neither of them had ever known. Diane moaned with delight as Nick slowly pushed himself into her. She reached up and pulled him down, crashing their lips together as he began to move inside her. They both found their familiar rhythm, moving as one. They took their time, reclaiming in each other that that had been lost for so long. Both reached their climax at the same time, staring into each others eyes as they fell over the edge. They lay tangled in each other for several minutes, as they slowly calmed. Nick managed to untangled himself enough to lay beside her, playing with her hair. Diane smiled at him. She loved it when he did that after they made love. It was so endearing to her. She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him as he yawned. "I love you baby," she whispered, feeling whole for the first time in ages. Nick moved his hand over her heart, looking deep into her eyes, "L-l-lo-ve you." Diane felt tears in her eyes. That was the first time Nick had actually gotten the words out. He smiled at her and pulled her tight, resting his head in the curve of her neck. Diane stroked his hair as she drifted to sleep. Nick closed his eyes, and for the first time in months fell into a peaceful dreamless sleep. Chapter 44 |