| Chapter 42 Dr. McKenna walked into Nick's room and over to the bed. Nick was engrossed in a drawing and didn't even notice him. The doctor watched him work, amazed at the detail he put in his drawings. Nick put his crayon down and looked up, jumping a little when he realized the doctor was standing right next to him. "Sorry Nick, I didn't mean to scare you," he said. Nick smiled, "K." "That's very good, looks just like her," Dr. McKenna commented, staring at the portrait of Diane. Nick shook his head, sliding his computer across the tray table: No, the original is much more beautiful than this. "You should do some artwork and sell it. You really have the talent to," the doctor said. Nick blushed, No, I just do it for fun. I couldn't sell any of it. "Well, it's something to think about at least," he said. Nick nodded. "We need to talk," Dr. McKenna said. About what? "Your refusal to see your best friend," he answered. Nick sighed and looked away shaking his head. "Nick, I'm gonna be letting you out of here soon, but before I do, you need to see him," the doctor said. I can't. "Why not Nick? Are you angry with him?" he asked. Nick shook his head. "Then it is what I thought. You aren't telling me everything and you think he'll know," he said. Nick looked down at his hands. "Nick, whatever it is that you're hiding, it can't be worth all this. The emotional stress of keeping it a secret, shutting out the people that love and care about you. All you have to do is tell me, Nick. I can help with whatever it is," Dr. McKenna prodded. Nick closed his eyes, wishing the doctor would get off this subject. But he knew he wouldn't, because he was right and he knew it. Nick couldn't hide the fact that there was something else bothering him. The only thing he could do was refuse to talk about it. He'd been putting Dr. McKenna off for days like this, and Nick was beginning to believe that was the only reason he was still here. If I see him, can I go home? Nick typed, looking up at the doctor. Dr. McKenna thought for a few minutes, "Possibly. It depends." On what? "On what I see from you when you talk to Brian. You know I won't let you go home until I'm convinced that you're over your episodes, and that you'll be alright without someone watching you," he answered. I haven't had one in days, and I'll be fine. I'm OK now, Nick typed. "No you're better, you're not OK. You're still hiding something, and until that comes out in the open and we deal with it, you won't be completely alright," Dr. McKenna stated. Nick sighed heavily: I can't talk about it right now. Maybe some time in the future, but not right now. It hurts to much still. "I understand that Nick, but talking about it will help you to heal. It'll help take the pain away from it," he said. Nick shook his head, I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not now. Dr. McKenna sighed, "Alright, not now, but soon OK? Don't let it get so bad that you end up feeling like you did when they brought you in here." I won't. I'll never do that again. You have my word on that, Nick said. Dr. McKenna smiled at the younger man, "I hope so. So, you'll see Brian?" Nick nodded. "Alright, I'll go get him," he said as he walked towards the door. Nick watched him go. He'd been dreading this moment for days, but he knew it would eventually have to happen. He just hoped that Brain wouldn't pick up on anything to specific. He couldn't let him find out what was happening. Not before he put an end to it, and that's what he was going to do. Nick had had a lot of time to think things over, and he'd come up with a way to end the hell he was in. He didn't like his solution, simply for the fact that things could easily go wrong. But he had to do something. He knew he couldn't continue on as he had. He almost lost everything, and he just couldn't live that way. But he needed to be at home before he could do anything, so if seeing Brian got him there, then Brian he would see. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian sat in his chair in the waiting room, staring blankly at the TV. He wasn't really watching what was on, he was thinking. More like reliving his past with Nick on that tour. All the sleepless nights, filled with endless tears. Waking up to Nick's screams, only to have him cry himself back to sleep and do it all over again. Watching as his friend slowly disappeared and someone he didn't even know took his place. He thought about how much he hated Tim for what he did. He had scarred Nick for life, and now years later he was still dealing with it. If Tim was there, Brian would have tried to kill him again. Sometimes he wished that Kevin and A.J. hadn't walked in and stopped him. In all his life he'd never hated anyone as much as he did Tim. He had taken away a part of Nick that could never be given back�his innocence. Brian sighed and shifted in his seat. "You OK?" Kevin asked, looking over. "Yeah, just tired of sitting," Brian said. "You want to lay down for a bit?" he asked. Brian shook his head, "No I want to stand up." "Can you do that now?" Diane asked. "I did it a few times before we came," Brian said. "That's great Brian," she said, "Can we help?" "Naw I can do it," he said. "Wait a sec," Kevin said, getting up and walking over to him, locking the wheels on his chair, "You fall and hurt yourself and I'll never hear the end of it from Leigh." Brian laughed, "Alright, you can be my catcher." Bob walked over and stood on Brian's other side, "Better safe than sorry," he said. Brian rolled his eyes, "Good grief, it's like I've never done this before." Brian pushed himself up by his arms and got his feet underneath him. Then slowly he transferred the weight from his arms to his legs, finally standing. Diane smiled at him, brushing away a few tears. It wasn't that long ago she thought she'd never get to see this. "This feels so much better," Brian said, "I can't even explain it." "Well just don't overdo it," Kevin said. "I'm not," Brian replied, laughing. "What?" Kevin asked. "Nothing, just you being dad again is all. You know you don't have to do that all the time," Brian answered. "Sorry its habit now, so deal," Kevin smiled. John came around the corner at the same time Dr. McKenna did. Both of them catching the scene. "Wow Brian, you seem to be recovering well," John said. Brian smiled, "I have a great therapist." John smiled, "That does make all the difference doesn't it?" "Yes it does," Brian said, the two exchanging glances. Brian reached out and grabbed Kevin and Bob's arms, "OK, time to sit again," he said, just as his legs gave out. The two men lowered him back down in the chair, and Brian situated himself in it, looking up at the doctor, "What's up?" "Nick want's to see you," he said. Brian was shocked, "Really?" Dr. McKenna nodded, "Yes." "Great," Brian smiled, unlocking his wheels and heading down the hall with the doctor. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick looked over when the door opened, seeing Brian and Dr. McKenna come in. Brian wheeled himself over to the side of the bed and looked up, "Man, this room sucks." Nick laughed, Yeah it does. "So, you doing OK?" Brian asked. Nick nodded, pointing to him. "I'm getting there," Brian answered. Nick looked around, feeling awkward. He could tell Brian did too. "Nick, do you want to talk about it?" Brian asked. Nick looked over at him: Not really. I've said it all before. Brian nodded, "I know." The two stared at each other, exchanging silent words. Each knew how the other felt, they'd been in this place before. Brian knowing something wasn't right and desperately wanting to help, and Nick knowing that to keep everyone safe he couldn't let him. Nick reached over and picked up a few drawings handing them to Brian. "Oh this is nice," he said, looking at the portrait of Diane. Nick smiled: Will you give it to her? "Of course," he said, looking at the other drawing. That one is yours. Brian nodded, staring at the mountain scene. He could see the words in the mountains, but needed to really study it to figure it out. This had been their secret way to talk to each other during boring meetings and such. Each would draw a picture and hide words in it. That way they could tell each other things they didn't want anyone else to know. It also served to freak out the rest of the guys, because they never knew how they did it. Brian looked at Nick, then glanced at the doctor, silently asking permission to show it to him. Nick nodded slightly, knowing that Brian would only show it to him and no one else. "So when you gettin outta here?" Brian asked. Nick shrugged his shoulders, looking over at the doctor. "Maybe tomorrow," he answered. "Cool," Brian said, seeing the look of relief and dread in Nick's eyes. Nick sat up more and crossed his legs indian style. "Whoa!" Brian laughed. Nick looked down at him, his eyebrow raised. Brian shook his head, "Um hospital gown and I'm eye level here. I love ya buddy, but I don't want to see that." Nick burst out laughing, reaching out and pulling the blanket over to cover himself. Dr. McKenna stifled a laugh and leaned back against the wall. The change in Nick was amazing since Brian came in. He was laughing, joking around. He had never seen this Nick, and seeing Brian pull it out of him was truly a bright light at the end of the tunnel. He let the two visit for a while longer than he had intended, but he just couldn't make Brian leave. Not when he was having this kind of affect on Nick. Finally he had to break up the party. "I'm sorry, but it's time to go Brian," he said. "Alright," Brian said, folding the picture Nick gave him and placing it in his backpack, keeping the one of Diane out. Nick glanced at his backpack, then up at the doctor: After I go home. Brian gave him a questioning look, but nodded. He knew Nick had his reasons for not wanting Dr. McKenna to see the picture until after he was already home, but it still puzzled him. "Alright buddy, get some sleep and maybe tomorrow you can kiss this sucky room goodbye," Brian said. Nick smiled, "K, B-bye." "Bye Nick," Brian said, giving him one last smile before he turned his chair and left the room. Nick watched the two leave, praying his plan worked. Chapter 43 |