| Chapter 39 Nick groaned and turned over. He opened his eyes, looking around the room. He hated this room. There was no window to look out of, and he wasn't sure if it was day or night. He felt trapped, and all he wanted was to get out. But he knew that wasn't possible. His fate was in the hands of the doctor, and he knew he wouldn't let him out any time soon. Hell if I was him, I wouldn't let me out either, he thought, raising the bed up some more. He looked around trying to find something to do. His computer was sitting on the tray table, just out of reach. Nick stretched for it, but still couldn't get it. Damn it! Why am I so weak? I can't even sit up enough to reach it! he cursed. He sighed, staring up at the ceiling, Guess I can count the bumps on the ceiling. He was about halfway across the ceiling when Dr. McKenna walked in carrying a large sketch pad and a box of crayons. "Hi Nick, are you feeling better?" he asked. Nick nodded. Dr. McKenna pulled the tray table over and Nick grabbed his computer: Did you know there were about 678 bumps on the ceiling? Dr. McKenna laughed, "No I can't say as I did." What's that? "I'm hoping this will help. I know it's hard for you to express what you're feeling, not being able to talk, so I want you to draw it," he said. Nick took the sketch pad and box from him, laying them to his side. Thank you. Dr. McKenna smiled, "No problem. Now, would you like to talk about the last memory you had?" Nick looked down at his hands for a moment, then looked back up. "We do need to talk about them Nick. The more you tell me, the better I'll be able to help you," the doctor said. Nick bit his lip and started typing: It was after a concert in Germany I think. He sent all the guys back to the hotel without me and waited for the arena to clear out. It was one of his fantasies to have me preform for him on stage, so he was going to make me. He had locked me in a room backstage while he waited for everyone to leave, but when he came back, I wasn't there. "Where did you go?" the doctor asked. I pulled the cover off the air conditioning vent and crawled through to the next room. I was hiding in the scaffolding above the stage. He was so angry. He kept yelling that I'd pay when he found me. "Did he find you?" Dr. McKenna asked. Nick nodded. Tears leaving his eyes as he continued to type: He was underneath me on the stage. I guess I moved and something fell. He looked up and saw me. I ran as fast as I could, but he caught me. "What did he do?" he asked. Nick closed his eyes and shook his head. "Nick, you need to tell me. You can't keep it inside anymore," Dr. McKenna told him. Nick stared at his hands for a long time, turning his wrist over and looking at the bandage underneath the brace. Then he took a deep breath: All our equipment was still there because we were doing three shows. He tied me to the poles that held up part of the stage and beat me. "Wasn't he afraid that someone would see the bruises and ask what happened?" Dr. McKenna asked. He hit me where he knew I could hide it. In the stomach and on the back. He knew I never took my shirt off in front of anyone. Not even when we changed costumes at a show. I'd always go behind a little partition and change. "What else did he do?" he asked. After he got done hitting me, he raped me. Then he took me to the bathroom and let me clean up before we went back to the hotel. "What was his excuse for keeping you there?" the doctor asked. He locked me in the room right after the show, so when it came time to leave, of course no one could find me. He told the guys to go back to the hotel and he'd stay and look for me. "But weren't the guys worried?" Dr. McKenna asked. Nick nodded, Yeah, but we were all young and he was suppose to be looking out for us. And it wouldn't have been the first time one of us got lost backstage, so it was a believable lie. "I see," the doctor said. Nick looked back down at his hands, wondering what the doctor was thinking. "Nick, you told me before that you told Brian everything that happened to you?" he said. "Yes," Nick said. "And he in turn told the rest of the guys, but not in detail, right?" the doctor asked. Nick nodded. "Would you feel comfortable talking to him again?" he asked. Nick looked up at the doctor, Is he here? "No he's not, but he offered to come if you needed him," Dr. McKenna said. Nick looked away from the doctor, thinking. There was nothing more he wanted than for Brian to be there, but he also didn't want it. He knew that Brian would see through his lies, know there was more to what he said was going on. He still couldn't risk it, not when he was locked in here and Diane was out there with Him. "Nick, would you like Brian to come?" he asked again. Nick shook his head. The doctor seemed a little confused by this. If Nick had already told his best friend what happened, then why wouldn't he want him there? "Can you tell me why you don't want him here?" he asked. He can't help me now. "How do you know that?" Dr. McKenna asked. Nick sighed heavily: I'm really tired, can we talk later? Dr. McKenna could see the exhaustion on Nick's face, "Sure. Get some rest, I'll come back in a while." Nick settled into bed, laying his computer on top of the sketch pad next to him. Dr. McKenna got the door before he turned around, "Nick, I know you don't want to talk to him. But do you mind if I do?" Nick looked over at the doctor. "Just to get some background on all this," he added. Nick thought for a minute, it couldn't hurt could it? He shook his head. "So it's alright for me to talk to Brian?" the doctor asked, making sure. Nick nodded. "Alright Nick, get some rest," he said, leaving the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. McKenna went to the waiting room and found Diane and Bob sitting on the couch watching TV. John was standing at the window lost in his own thoughts. "Diane, can I see you for a few minutes?" the doctor asked. "Yeah, sure," she said getting up and following him. John watched them leave, wondering what was going on. Diane followed the doctor to his office and sat down, "What is it?" "I was wondering if you would call Brian for me. I'd like to talk to him about a few things, possibly get him to come," he said. Diane laughed, "That wouldn't be hard. You have no idea what we went through to get him to stay there." Dr. McKenna smiled, "If he's anything like you, I could see that." Diane pulled Nick's cell phone out, looking up the number and taking the phone Dr. McKenna offered her. She glanced at her watch as the phone rang, "I'm not sure they're back from his physical therapy yet." Dr. McKenna opened his mouth to ask her a question when finally someone answered, "Hello?" "Kristin?" Diane asked. "Yeah, is this Di?" "Yeah, would Brian happen to be there?" she asked. "No, not yet. But they should be any minute. How's Nick doing?" Kristin asked. Diane sighed, "I'm not sure, that's kinda why I'm calling. Nick's doctor wants to talk to Bri." "Oh ...um hang on I think they just drove up. Yup that's them, it'll take a sec for them to get Bri in, hang on," Kristin said. "He just got there," Diane told the doctor. "Brian has physical therapy?" Dr. McKenna asked. Diane nodded, "The plane crash. He injured his back and is temporarily in a wheel chair." "Oh I see," the doctor said. "Hello? Diane?" Brian asked. "Hey Brian," she said. "How's Nick?" Brian asked, worry in his voice. "I'm not sure. Listen Nick's doc wants to talk with you," she said. "Uh OK," Brian said, a little taken back. Diane handed the phone to Dr. McKenna. "Hello Brian, this is Dr. McKenna," he said. "Hi, what can I do for you?" Brian asked. "I was wondering if you would be willing to talk to me about what happened to Nick. He's reluctant to talk about a lot of stuff, and he said it would be alright for me to talk with you," he said. "Oh well if Nick said it was OK, then yeah I guess so," Brian said. "Good, can you come here? This isn't something that should be discussed over the phone," Dr. McKenna said. "Yes, I'll get the first flight I can," Brian said. "Thank you Brian. I look forward to meeting you," he said. "Alright, I'll be there soon," Brian said, hanging up the phone. Kevin was sitting on the couch listening to the conversation. "We going to Florida?" he asked. "Yeah," Brian said, moving his chair around the couch and into his office, Kevin following him. "I can make the flight arrangements. Why don't you get Leigh to pack you a few things and rest until we leave," he suggested. Brian shook his head, "I have to get something first. Can you help me?" "Sure, what is it," Kevin asked. Brian pointed to the book shelf, "Top shelf, the blue book." Kevin pulled it down and handed it to him, "What is it?" Brian opened the book and pulled out several sheets of paper, handing the book back to Kevin, "Something that Nick did when he was going through all this. Maybe it'll help." Kevin stared the folded papers, "But you aren't going to show me?" Brian shook his head, "I promised Nick that no one would see these, not even you guys." "But you're gonna show the doc?" Kevin asked. "If I think it could help, yeah I will. If not, then no," he said. "OK," Kevin said, "I'll start making the arrangements." "Um Kev, we need to find someplace to stay while we're there. I'm not sure Nick will want us staying with him, and I really don't wanna stay with Bob and Jane," Brian said. Kevin laughed, "Yeah, neither do I. OK, I'll see about finding a place to rent while we're there." "OK, I'm gonna go pack," Brian said, leaving the room. Kevin sat down at the desk and dialed the airline, "Yes, I need the first available flight to Marathon, Florida." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diane went back to the waiting room. "What's going on?" John asked, concerned. "Brian's coming. The doc wants to talk with him about what happened before," she answered. John sat down and looked at her, "Di I know it's none of my business, but what happened before? Why did Nick do this?" Diane glanced at Bob. He nodded, letting her know it was alright for her to tell. She looked back at John, "Nick was abused when he was younger by one of the groups assistant managers." "Oh my God, that's horrible," John said. Diane nodded, "Yeah, and lately the memories of what happened started coming back. I don't know why ... but that's what's wrong." They sat quietly for a few minutes, until John asked, "Was it physical abuse?" Diane shook her head, "Sexual." "Jesus," John muttered, "What was the guys name that did it?" "Tim is all I know," she admitted. John felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He quickly got up, "I um, I need to go get some air," he said before almost running out of the room. Diane and Bob exchanged confused glances, but shrugged it off as someone finding out bad news about a friend. John ran to the hospital garden and sat down, putting his head in his hands, It can't be. It can't be him. There had to be another Tim on that tour, but he knew in his heart there wasn't. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dr. McKenna walked into the observation room and sat down. "He didn't go to sleep?" he asked the person on duty. "No sir, after you left he started drawing. Hasn't stopped yet," the man said. Dr. McKenna watched as Nick took his time, making sure things were as he wanted them on them page. Even using his fingers to smear the crayon, just how he wanted it. "Can you zoom in on what he's doing? I'd like to look at it," the doctor asked. "Sure, just take a sec," the man said, zooming the camera in. Both men's mouths dropped in shock. "My God," the attendant said. "My God indeed," Dr. McKenna agreed, "You're recording all this right?" "Yes sir," he said. "Good, let me know when he finishes. I want to talk with him, and have the tapes sent to my office. When he finishes make sure you get a good image of it before he moves on to something else," the doctor said. "Will do," the attendant said as he left the room. I don't know what happened to you, but the more I see, the less I like, Dr. McKenna thought, as he headed down the hall. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian and Kevin sat on the plane as they took off. Kevin ended up chartering a flight since none of the commercial flights left until the next morning, and Brian didn't want to wait that long. Kevin watched as Brian took the papers out of his backpack and looked at them, a heavy sadness falling on his face. He felt sorry for his cousin. Even though it was Nick going through hell right now, he seemed to be taking Brian with him. It had always been that way though. When one was hurting so was the other. Kevin couldn't explain it, he never even tried. He just chalked it up to one hell of a friendship and left it at that. Brian put the papers away and stared out the window. Memories of his own flashing before his eyes. He knew what he was walking into and how much it was going to stir up things he'd rather forget. But Nick needed him, and he was going to be there for him no matter what. Even if it meant he had to face what happened in the past, and live up to the fact that he had failed Nick then. But he was determined not to do that now. He was ready to walk through hell with Nick again if need be. Brian sighed, staring at the clouds, Hang on Nicky, just hang on till I get there. Chapter 40 |