| Chapter 32 Nick waved as Howie and A.J. backed out of the drive and headed home. He already missed them. They had a great weekend, boating, clubbing, sneaking into the local movie theater and catching the latest flick. By Monday morning Nick was feeling like his old self, but as the guys left his reality came crashing in on him. John would be here soon. And Nick knew he'd pay for telling the guys about him. He sighed, walking back into the house. There was nothing he could do but endure whatever John threw at him. He wasn't going to risk Diane and Aaron getting hurt, even if it meant walking through hell all over again. Diane was clearing the table as he walked in. She noticed the sad look was back in his eyes. "Nick, come here a sec," she said, placing the dishes in the dish washer as he walked over. She turned and hugged him, "You already miss them don't you?" He smiled and nodded. "If you want next weekend we can go see them, or even go visit Brian and Kevin," she suggested. Nick shook his head, "No...OK." The last thing he wanted was to see Brian. He knew if he did Brian would know what was going on just by looking at him. They had to much of a history together for him not to, and he couldn't risk it. "OK, but we can go anytime you want, all you have to do is say the word," she said, kissing his cheek. Nick laughed and pulled her to him, bending down and gently kissing her lips. He lingered there, planting soft light kisses to her lips, tangling his fingers in her hair. After a moment he pulled back, leaving her breathless. "Wh..What was that for?" she asked. He smiled placing his hand over her heart. He couldn't say what he wanted to, hoping she understood, "You." Diane stared at him for a moment, her eyes filling with tears. She placed her hand over his heart, "I love you too." Just then the door bell rang, making them both jump. Diane laughed at herself, moving to answer the door, but Nick caught her hand, holding her there for a second. She smiled at him, squeezing his hand, then turned to answer the door. Nick closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, I can do this. Just think about Diane and you can do this, he told himself, turning to face John as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey buddy, you have a good time with your friends this weekend?" John asked. Nick nodded, walking over to the table and sitting down. John sat next to him, pulling out his cards. Diane went upstairs to clean the extra bedroom the guys had used. She no longer thought of it as hers since she hadn't used it since the first night she moved in. John waited until she was in the room before he spoke in a hushed whisper, "You know she isn't suppose to be here." Nick pulled his computer over: I can't ask her to leave every day, she'll get suspicious. John glared at him, "I want her gone Nick. If you won't do it I will." Nick stared at him, afraid of what he might do. John laughed, "I'm not gonna hurt her. I swear you're paranoid." John handed Nick a card, "Start working on this and follow my lead." Nick took the card and watched as John got up and walked to the bottom of the stairs, "Hey Diane, can you come down here for a minute?" Diane walked out of the room carrying the sheets from the bed, "Yeah?" "Well, Nick and I were talking, and we're getting into a difficult part of his therapy now. It's hard for him to work when he's constantly distracted," John said. "Distracted? By what?" she asked, standing on the stairs in front of John. John smiled, "By you of course. He's constantly watching you and not paying attention to me." "Oh, sorry," she said. "Naw, I see why he is, but if we're ever going to make any headway with his speech, he needs to concentrate," John said. "So what do you want me to do?" she asked. "Well, it might be better for you to leave the house during our sessions. That way he's focusing on what he's suppose to be," John suggested. Diane looked over at Nick, "You OK with that?" He nodded, then looked back down at his card. He knew if he looked at her for to long she'd see that he didn't want her to leave at all. "Oh, well, OK. Let me put these in the laundry and I'll go see what the girls are up to for a while," she said, heading to the laundry room. John followed her, "I um, I was wanting to extend our sessions too." "Oh, how long?" she asked. "To three hours. He really needs it. We've kinda hit a hump, he's not getting the more difficult words and I thought that maybe if we work longer he'll eventually get it," he said. "OK when do you want to start that?" she asked. "Today if you don't mind," he answered. "Oh, um OK I guess. I do have some errands to run, and I need to pick up some groceries. This might work out pretty well. I can do all the running around without having to bring him with me. I dunno if you know this but he hates grocery shopping with a passion," she laughed. "Nope, didn't know that. So it's settled?" he asked. "Yeah, let me grab my keys and I'll be outta your hair," she said. John smiled as she grabbed her purse and keys. She walked over to Nick and kissed his cheek, "I'll see you around five. I've got your cell if you need me, just have John call, OK?" Nick nodded, feigning interest in the card he was still holding. Diane turned and headed out the door. John watched her back down the drive, then turned to face Nick. He was still staring at the card, afraid to look up. John walked over and pulled the card from his hand, "See how easy that was? Now I believe we need to talk about what you're telling your friends about me." I didn't say anything, I swear! Nick typed. "Well apparently you're saying something. This would go a lot easier if you just tell me," John said. I just told them what a good friend you were and that we played video games and hung out. That's all John, I didn't say anything else, he typed. John stared at him for a moment, causing Nick to fidget in his chair. "Stand up," he instructed. Nick looked up at him with fear in his eyes. "Don't make me tell you again," John said, his voice stern. Nick slowly stood up, looking down at the table. John placed his hand on the back of Nick's neck and steered him around the table and across the living room to the stairs. Nick stopped, "No!" John turned Nick around to face him, "I told you I would go slow with you didn't I? There are to many windows down here, now go." Nick turned and started up the stairs, trying to keep from crying. He looked down, realizing he was still holding his computer. He typed as he walked, praying as he entered his bedroom that this would work. Do you really care about me or is this just a sick game for you? John stared at the screen, a little shocked by the question. "Nick, I thought I told you the other day. I care so much for you, don't you know that?" he asked. Nick shook his head: If you really cared about me you wouldn't do this. Don't you know how much this hurts me? John sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "Nick, I don't have a choice. I'll die if I can't have you. It's as simple as that. I have to kiss you, touch you, be near you.... don't you see? As much as it hurts you, and I'm sorry, I can't stop. I won't, because if I do, that means my life is over." Nick stared at him with his mouth open in shock. It was then that he realized that John would never get bored with him and leave. John was completely obsessed and Nick knew that if he didn't find some way to stop this, it'd never end. "Now, let's put this down," John said, taking the computer out of Nick's hands. Nick shook his head, terror in his face, "No .... no!" "Nick, calm down," John said in a soothing voice, "I told you we'd start slow and I meant it. All I'm going to do is kiss you. You don't even have to kiss me back, alright?" Nick shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes, "No," he said in a meek voice. John stood in front of him, watching him tremble and fight to keep his tears from falling. He felt sorry for him, but he couldn't stop what he was doing. He took Nick's hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of it, "It's OK, I know you're upset and scared. I was hoping we wouldn't have to use this, but I don't want you throwing yourself into a seizure either." Nick watched as John reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a pill. "I want you to take this," he said. Nick stepped back, shaking his head. "It won't hurt you, but it will calm you down. Now take it," John said, forcing Nick's hand open and placing the pill in it. Nick stared at the pill, then back up at John. "Nick, I'm trying to be patient with you. Don't make me regret it, now take the damn pill," John said, angrily. Nick flinched at his words and placed the pill in his mouth. "Swallow it," John said. Nick swallowed and looked down at his feet. John cupped Nick's cheek with his hand and pulled his head up, "Open your mouth, I want to make sure you took it." Nick complied, letting John see that he had indeed swallowed the pill. "Very good. Now come over here and sit," John said, pulling Nick towards the bed. Nick was reluctant, but let him pull him over and sat down. He didn't look at John, he couldn't. Instead he stared out the window, watching the water. It was his only salvation at the moment. John watched him, seeing the emotion run through his face and then nothing. Nick sat there with a blank look on his face, seemingly in his own world. John waited a few more minutes, wanting the pill to take full affect. When he noticed Nick's muscles start to relax, he smiled. Slowly he reached over and pulled Nick's face toward him. He stared into the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. Those eyes captivated him and held him hostage. Nick closed his eyes, breaking the spell. He couldn't look at John. If he kept his eyes closed maybe he could convince himself this was just another nightmare. He could feel John move closer to him, feel his breath on his face. He winced as he felt John press his lips to his, but he didn't fight him. He knew what fighting would get him, and whatever John gave him was really hitting him. All he wanted to do was lay down and sleep. John kissed him for a few moments, then pulled back, "Nick look at me." Nick lifted his head and stared at him. John could tell he was on the verge of drifting to sleep. "Well, looks like half a pill would've done it," he laughed. Nick blinked his eyes a few times, trying to clear the cobwebs in his head. "Stay awake for a little while longer and then I'll let you sleep," John told him, playing with Nick's bangs. Nick turned his head. He didn't want John playing with his hair. Diane did that and he loved it, he couldn't let John ruin that for him. John cupped Nick's cheek and pulled his face around, "You don't want me to play with your hair?" Nick shook his head. "OK, I'll leave your hair alone," he said, leaning in and kissing him again. Nick looked past John and out the window again. He knew if he closed his eyes he'd fall asleep, and the last thing he wanted to do was make John angry. There was no telling what the psycho would do. So Nick stared at the water as John kissed him. He could feel it. Feel John's lips on him as he kissed down his neck. Feel his arms around him as he ran his hands up and down his back, barely touching him. But even though he could feel it, it was almost like it wasn't happening. Like it was a dream, and he was watching it. Time seemed to stand still as he watched wave after wave on the water. Unknowingly his mind started to compare John and Tim. Where Tim was always rough, John was showing Nick he wouldn't be. His touch was soft, his kisses light and gentle. Tim never cared about him, and yet John seemed to be obsessed with him. Nick blinked his eyes a few times, making his brain stop its train of thought. It's still rape, whether it's soft or not. He's still doing this against your will, he told himself. Nick didn't even notice when John stopped. He was so focused on the water, it took him a moment to realize John was saying his name. "Nick?" He looked over at John as a single tear slid down his cheek. John brushed it away with his thumb, "I know you're hurting Nick, and I'm sorry it has to be this way. Come on, let's go back downstairs, Diane should be back pretty soon." Nick blinked a few times, forcing himself back to reality. He looked at the alarm clock, realizing they had been up there for over two hours. "Come on," John said, pulling Nick up. He was still dazed by the drug and stumbled. John grabbed him, pulling Nick's arm over his shoulders and helping him out of the room and down the stairs. He placed Nick on the couch, making sure he was comfortable. "I won't give you a whole pill again, it's to much," he said, walking over to the table and grabbing some of his cards, bringing them back to the couch. John sat in the floor next to Nick and spread some cards out, making it look like they had been working. Nick watched him, fighting to stay awake. "It's OK, go to sleep," John soothed, smiling at him, "You did very well today." The tears were back in Nick's eyes. "Shh, don't cry. You don't want Diane to see you upset now do you? We can't have her asking questions," John said. Nick bit his lip and nodded, closing his eyes and hoping he'd fall to sleep soon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diane walked through the door carrying several grocery bags. She placed them on the counter and looked over, seeing John stretched out in the floor. She walked over, finding Nick asleep on the couch and John asleep on the floor. Cards were scattered everywhere and Nick held one in his hand as he slept. John woke up and looked over, surprised to see her staring at him. He sat up, glancing at Nick, "When did you get back?" "Just now," she answered, "Looks like you guys were working a little to hard." John smiled, "We got a lot done today. Nick was working on that sentence and I guess we both just dozed off." Diane moved over to Nick. "Don't wake him," John said. She looked up at him. "He seemed pretty tired today," he added. "Well we did have a pretty hectic weekend," she said, carefully taking the card from Nick's hand and handing it to John. He smiled at her, "Thanks. I guess I'll get these picked up and go." She went back to the kitchen to unpack her groceries as John gathered his cards and headed for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said. "K, be careful. It's starting to rain," Diane said, walking over to see him out. "Alright, have a good night," John said, as he turned and ran for his car in the rain. Diane watched him leave, then shut the door and turned on the alarm, going back to finish unpacking her groceries. Chapter 33 |