| Chapter 9 "Brian, wake up." Tara said softly. "Brian, we've got to get going." Brian slowly opened his eyes, it was still dark. "What time is it?" he asked. "It'll be daylight soon, but we really need to get going." Tara said as she offered her hand to help him up. Brian sat up and took her hand, as he made his way up a wave of dizziness came over him. "You all right?" Tara asked as she helped to steady him. "Yeah, just a little dizzy, that's all, must've got up to fast." Brian answered. Tara looked at him with great concern in her eyes, "Brian, are you sure you want to go? You could stay here, I'd be back in two days with help." "No, I'm fine." he insisted. Tara looked at him with a �yeah sure you are' look that Brian couldn't ignore. "Tara, I'll be OK. But I refuse to be left here." Brian said. "All right then," Tara said as she turned and put her backpack on, "let's go." Tara and Brian made their way out of the cave and onto the trail. It was very muddy from the rain, which made it even more difficult for Brian. He had his walking stick to help him, and Tara would help steady him when they crossed a particularly hard part of the trail. As Brian walked he could feel that something wasn't quite right. His shoulder was killing him, as was his ankle, and his head hurt, but there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on. But as they walked he knew that he was increasingly not feeling well. Brian didn't say anything to Tara though, he knew if he did she would insist on taking him back to the cave and going on herself. And after all that Brian had been through the last few days, he did not want to be by himself. Somehow Tara made him feel safe, and he hadn't felt that in such a long time. Brian was deep in thought when Tara stopped in front of him. She turned to face him, "Brian, lets stop here for a little while and rest." "All right," Brian said as he made his way to a rock and sat down. Tara offered him the canteen and another energy bar. Brian took them, and as he ate, Tara poured over the topo's again. "Aren't you going to eat?" Brian asked, noticing that he had not seen Tara eat since he met her. "No, I'm not hungry," she said, still looking at the maps. "It looks like this trail takes us down to the river, and then we follow the river to the ranger station. There's a campsite marked here," Tara said as she showed the map to Brian, "I think we can make it if we keep up the pace we've been going." "OK," Brian said, not really knowing what in the world he was looking at. Tara looked at him with a smile on her face, "You don't have the slightest clue how to read these do you?" Brian gave her his most innocent smile, "No not really." he said with a laugh. Tara laughed as she put the map back in her backpack. "Brian, are you ready to go?" she asked. "I guess." he said, as he got up. Tara moved ahead of Brian on the trail, and they walked in silence for a few minutes. "Brian, what exactly has been going on?" she asked, still walking. "What do you mean?" asked Brian. "I mean how did you end up being shot? Is someone stalking you, do we need to be on the lookout for something?" Tara asked as she glanced back at Brian. "It's a really long story." Brian said. "Well, I'm not going anywhere," Tara said. Brian took a deep breath and began to tell Tara all that had happened to him the past two months. He wasn't sure why, but it felt good to be able to tell someone. And Tara made him feel so much at ease. When Brian had finished, Tara slowed down so they were walking side by side. "Brian, when you were shot, you saw who did it, right?" "Yes, but I can't remember," Brian said, still angry that he couldn't recall that important moment in time. "But I know that I know this person, I feel like it was someone really close to me." "Brian when we get you back, how are you going to know who to trust? I mean if you feel it's someone close to you, how will you know?" Tara asked with great concern in her voice. Brian thought for a long time, " I don't guess I will know. I'll just have to trust that God will take care of me." At the sound of those words Tara stopped dead in her tracks. Brian stopped and looked at her. "How can you say that?" she asked. "Say what?" asked Brian. "Say that you're gonna trust God to take care of you, after all you've been through, how can you still trust him?" Tara said with great emotion. Brian looked at Tara, he could see great sadness in her eyes. "Tara, after all I've been through, how can I not? I should've died when I was five, I think everyday after that is a gift from God. He's given me so much in my life that I don't deserve. I have a wonderful wife, a great family, and a job that I absolutely love. And I wouldn't have any of that if it weren't for God's divine intervention." Tara stared at Brian for a long time. Brian could tell that she was reliving something in her past, her eyes reflected her sadness and anger. "Tara, what is it?" he asked. "Nothing." she said as she started up the trail. "Tara, it's not nothing, I can see it in your eyes." Brian said as he walked behind her. Tara slowed down and let Brian catch up to her. "Brian, it's the reason I'm out here," she said, not wanting to look at him. "What do you mean?" Brian asked truly concerned. "Brian, it's so hard to talk about." Tara said as a tear made its way down her face. Brian grabbed her arm, "Let's sit down for a minute, I need a rest." Brian pulled Tara over to the side of the trail and sat down so that he was facing her. Tara looked at him for a long moment, then took a deep breath. "About six months ago I lost my fianc�. He was killed in a car accident on the way to our wedding." Tara said with tears streaming down her face. "Brian, he was my life! We were soul mates in every since of the word. We loved to do the same things, and we hated being apart from each other. He would call me at work just to say hi, and ask me how my day was. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and God took that away!" she said with anger in her voice. "Why would he do that?" she asked looking Brian in the eyes. Brian just sat there, not really knowing what to say. "Tara, I'm not sure what to say. I'm sure that God didn't take him away from you. Some accidents just happen, and sometimes they happen to truly good people. I know that God didn't do this to punish you, he's not that kind of God." Brian said. Tara looked at him, "then what kind of God is he?" Brian thought for a moment. "He's a God of love and compassion, and forgiveness and strength. Tara, I'm sure that God is saddened by what your feeling and he doesn't want you to go through this alone." Tara sat there contemplating what Brian had said. She had been angry at God for so long, how could she learn to trust him again? "Brian, I know you believe that, but I've been so angry for so long now, I'm not sure I can go back." she said. "I came out here because I didn't know what else to do, and the dreams were driving me crazy! I thought that if I came out here I would find the answer, but I had every intention of not going back, when I found you." Brian looked at her a little confused, "What dreams?" Tara looked at Brian, and as their eyes met, they both knew. "You've been having them too?" Tara asked. "Yes, for a long time now." Brian answered. They both just sat there not knowing what to say to each other. Tara got up and offered her hand to Brian. "I'm not sure if this answers my questions, or just gives me new ones." Tara said. "Me either," Brian said as he got to his feet. They continued down the trail, both in thought about what the other had said. They had walked in silence for the rest of the day. The sun was starting to set, and they had finally made it to the river campsite. Tara went about setting up camp, while Brian sat next to a tree. He was really feeling ill, but he didn't want Tara to know. Brian coughed a few times, and Tara looked up from what she was doing. "Brian? Are you all right?" she asked as she made her way over to him. "Yeah, I'm OK, I'm just tired," Brian said, trying to sound matter of fact. "Brian, you're not OK!" Tara said as she felt his forehead, "you're burning up with fever! Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" Tara asked. "I didn't want you to leave me." Brian answered in a weak voice. "Brian, I won't leave you I promise." Tara said as she went back to the campsite. She finished setting up camp as fast as she could. She helped Brian over to the bed she had fixed, and covered him with the blanket. She then ran down to the river and gathered some water in her cooking pan. Brian was trying not to drift off to sleep when Tara sat down next to him. She took a rag from her pack and soaked it in the water and placed it on Brian's forehead. Brian jumped, "That's cold." Tara smiled back at him, but Brian could see the worry in her eyes. "Brian, tell me how your feeling." "I want to go to sleep." Brian said as he coughed again. "Brian, I'm not sure you should." Tara said as she pulled the blanket back to look at Brian's shoulder. What she saw made her gasp. The area around the gunshot wound was red and hot with fever. The wound itself was starting to oose. "What is it?" Brian asked, seeing the shock on her face. Tara looked at him, "Brian, I think your shoulder is infected." Chapter 10 |