| Chapter 10 Kevin sat in the waiting room of the psychiatrists office with his security guard. Kevin had sworn him to secrecy, he didn't want the other guys to find out he was seeing a shrink. The search had started early in the morning, but still no luck. Kevin was nervous for some reason, he really didn't like coming here. The nurse stuck her head out the door, "Mr. Richardson?" "Yes." Kevin said as he stood up, and followed the nurse to the psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist was sitting behind his desk reviewing the notes from his last session with Kevin when he walked in. "Hello Kevin," he said as he got up to shake Kevin's hand, "ready to begin?" "I guess," Kevin said a little unenthusiastically. "Now Kevin, we left off talking about your childhood," the doctor reminded him. Kevin sat down, "yeah, my childhood. I guess you could say it was pretty normal." "Tell me about your family life," the doctor said. "Well, it was all pretty normal, we lived pretty close to Brian's family, so we all hung out when we were younger." "Where you and Brian close when you were younger?" asked the doctor. "Well, not as close as we are now. I mostly hung out with Brian's older brother. I was always afraid I'd hurt Brian." "Why do you say that?" the doctor asked. "Well, when Brian was five he got an infection and because of his heart condition it became pretty serious, the doctors didn't think he would live. Brian stayed in the hospital for like a month. After that I really didn't want to be around him much. Everyone in the family always talked about how Brian was so fragile, I just didn't want to be playing with him and hurt him." "Kevin, do you think you were jealous of the attention that Brian received?" asked the doctor. Kevin thought for a long time, "Um, I never really thought about it. I guess I could've been. But, it was so long ago I really can't remember." The doctor jotted down a few notes. "Kevin lets take this in a different direction for a minute." said the doctor, "how do you feel about Brian now? Do you still consider him to be fragile?" Kevin thought for a minute. "I wouldn't say he was fragile now, he's just.......I dunno, he's just Brian." "What does that mean Kevin?" the doctor asked. Kevin squirmed in his chair, Man, when is this gonna be over? "I really don't know what it means. After Brian recovered from his infection when he was little, his personality changed. It was almost like he was a completely different person altogether." "And how did that make you feel?" asked the doctor. "Well, before I was always the one in the family that grabbed the center of attention, you know the funny one. When Brian started being the center of attention, I guess I didn't like it very much. But, here we are talking about my childhood again, you asked me how I felt about Brian now, right?" "Yes I did," answered the doctor. "I hate him!" The words came out of Kevin's mouth but he didn't say them. The doctor looked at Kevin with surprise. "You hate him?" he asked. "No, I didn't mean that." Kevin said, wondering what had come over him. "Then what did you mean?" asked the doctor. "I dunno, I don't know what made me say that, that's not how I feel about him at all. I love Brian like he was my brother. I'm proud of what he has done in his life, and of what he has become." Kevin was really squirming in his chair now. "Kevin, it's almost time, but I want to explore this some more in our next session. When you come next time, I would like to try a technique that gets beyond our conscious mind, and down to the real feelings." "What's that?" Kevin asked, a little wary. "Kevin, I'd like to hypnotize you," the doctor said. Kevin thought about the doctor's suggestion. He wasn't to keen on the idea of being hypnotized, but something had made him say what he said. "OK, doc, next time," Kevin finally answered. "All right, have the nurse schedule you in two days," said the doctor. Kevin got up to leave, "OK, two days," he said as he walked out. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick was pacing the floor. He had been up since the search had started, and was about to go crazy. With every hour that passed, his heart sank a little more. His mind kept playing the last conversation he had with Brian in his head. I could've prevented this, he told himself for the thousandth time. The phone rang, and Nick nearly broke his leg getting to it. "Hello!" he said. "Nick, it's Lee." Leighanne said. "Hey Lee, are you on your way?" Nick asked. "Yeah, I'm boarding the plane now, I should be there in a couple hours. Any word yet?" she asked. "No, I'm sorry, not yet." Nick answered. "Is Kevin there?" Leighanne asked. "No, he left early this morning, I'm not sure where he was going. He always says it's business, but we don't have any business right now." Nick said. "Well, when he comes back, tell him I'll get a car at the airport, and just drive out." "OK Lee, I'll tell him. Be careful OK." Nick said. "I will, see you in a while." Leighanne said. "All right, bye." Nick said. Nick hung up the phone, and noticed that both A.J. and Howie were staring at him. "It was Lee, she's on her way," he said. "Hey guys, can I talk to you?" Nick asked. "Sure, what is it?" Howie asked. "Well, I've just been wondering, do you guys know where Kevin is?" Nick asked. Both Howie and A.J. looked at each other, "No, I don't," answered A.J., "why?" "Well, ever since Brian disappeared, he's been kinda off, have you noticed that?" Nick said. "Well, now that you mention it, he was actin kinda weird the other night when he came back from looking for Brian." A.J. said. "Yeah, but haven't we all been a little off lately?" Howie said, "This whole thing has been hard on all of us, and I think it's especially hard on Kev cause of them being family. I think there's some added pressure there." "Yeah Howie, I understand that, but this is different somehow. It's like he's a different person sometimes." Nick said. "I have noticed some mood swings lately." A.J. said. "Do you guys think we should ask him about it?" Nick asked. "I dunno, he's always been reserved when it comes to talking about his feelings." Howie said. "Yeah, I know. I don't wanna ask him, and get a thirty minute lecture on how I should mind my own business either." Nick said. All three laughed at that thought. "Why don't we just watch him for a while, if it starts getting worse, then we can all three ask him." A.J. suggested. "Sounds good to me." Howie said. "OK, but let's not let it go too long." Nick said. ~~~~~~~~~~ Kevin arrived back at the lodge around mid-afternoon. He was mentally exhausted. The whole trip back he had been thinking about what he said. Is that really how I feel about Brian? It can't be! Kevin got out of the car, and walked into the house. Nick and A.J. were manning the phones, and Howie was in kitchen making lunch for everyone. Nick saw Kevin come in and walked over to him, "Hey Kev, Lee's on her way. She said to tell you that she'd just get a car and drive out." "OK, how long will it take her?" Kevin asked. "Well, probably another hour or so." Nick answered. "All right, I'm gonna go lay down for a little while, get me up when she gets here, OK." Kevin said. Nick looked at Kevin with concern. "Kev, are you feeling OK?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all." Kevin answered as he headed upstairs. Kevin walked into his room, shut the door, and collapsed onto the bed. God, I'm falling apart! Please help me keep it together. He sat up on his bed and looked out the window. He kept hearing himself say that he hated Brian. What could make him say that? His whole life he had always thought of Brian as his little brother, he could never hate him. Kevin continued to think as he watched the clouds stretch there way across the sky. He was deep in thought when a knock came at the door. "Come In." Kevin said. Leighanne walked into the room. Kevin stood up to greet her. "Hey, how was your trip?" Kevin asked. "Uneventful." Leighanne answered. "Have you heard anything?" she asked. "No, nothing." Kevin's voice fell. "How long will they search?" Leighanne asked. "They won't go after dark, they don't want to risk one of the searchers getting lost." Kevin answered. "Oh, then it won't be long and they'll call it off for today." she said watching the sun set in the distance. Kevin put his arm around Leighanne and pulled her close, he could feel her tears through his shirt. "Lee, they'll find him, they have to." he said. "I hope so." Leighanne whispered. They stood there crying on each others shoulder until the sun set over the horizon. Chapter 11 |