| Chapter 42 Lyn sat down in the chair next to the bed, and put her head in her hands. Ted pulled the other chair in the room closer to her and sat down, looking at her. "You wanna explain to me what I just saw?" he asked. She looked up at him, "I can't." "Why not?" he asked. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at the floor, "Cause I'm not exactly sure what it is myself." Ted reached over and took her hand, "Lyn, tell me how you're feeling." She shook her head, "I don't know, I'm so confused. I'm scared and worried for them both, and then when I see Brian in so much pain, it just overwhelms me." "What's going on with you and Brian? Why did I just walk in on what looked like a pretty passionate kiss," Ted asked. She sighed, "I really don't know. I guess we're both just missing them so much that we're turning to each other for comfort." "Lyn honey, a hug is comfort, a pat on the back is comfort. What I just saw wasn't comfort, there was more to it than that," Ted said. Lyn looked away from him, to embarrassed to meet his eyes. "You and Brian need to figure this out before you do something that you both are gonna regret," he told her. Lyn nodded, "I know." Ted got up and walked over, checking Brian's monitors. Lyn watched him, as he wrote a few things in Brian's chart. "Um, you might want to take him off the pain killers," she said. Ted looked up, "Oh yeah?" "Yeah, he was kinda goofy when he woke up," she answered. Ted smiled, "OK, I'll lower the dose," he said, scribbling more instructions in his chart. He put the chart back up and looked over at his niece, "Honey, I'm here for you anytime, you know that." "I know," she said, getting up and walking over to him. "I mean what I say. I love them all like they were my own now, but you two need to remember that he's married to your best friend, and you're committed to his," Ted said, "You need to figure this out, and soon." "I will, as soon as he wakes up, I'll talk to him," she said. Ted smiled, "OK, I'll be back in the morning. Try and get some rest." Lyn hugged him, "I'll try, thanks." Ted smiled at her, then left the room. Lyn turned back and looked at Brian. He was sleeping soundly. She walked over to the side of the bed and sat down, gently touching his cheek. "Brian, what are we doing?" she asked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick had stayed with Tara through the night. Jered and Ephah had given him some pointers on how to act with her, and how to bring her back to reality. The first thing Nick had done, was to heal her. Every bruise, every whelp, every cut. He thought that by doing so, she would see it as a peace jester. He then dressed her in the most comfortable clothes he could find, and had put her in bed, without the restraints. He also stopped giving her the drug. If she was going to come to him, it was gonna be because of him, not because of a drug. He knew that if she ever did snap out of it, she would be hard to handle, having all her abilities back, but he didn't care. He was going to have her this way, or not at all. Nick looked out the window at the rising sun. Even though he'd been up all night, he wasn't tired. In fact, he was excited. This new challenge would be fun, and he would get to see how good of an actor he was. If he convinced Tara that he'd had a change of heart, then he could convince anyone. He looked over at her, surprised to see her eyes open. She was still staring off into nothing, no emotion in her face. Nick leaned over her, so she was looking directly at him, "Tara, please snap out of it." She blinked, but continued her blank stare. Nick looked at her for a moment, wondering what he should do, then he left the room. A few minutes later he came back with a tray in his hands. He sat it down on the dresser and walked over to Tara. "I know that you have to be hungry. You didn't get a chance to eat yesterday, and I'm sorry for that," he said, pulling her up to a sitting position and placing several pillows behind her back to keep her up. He then retrieved the tray and sat it next to the bed, taking the bottled water and holding it up for her. "Here, you need to drink something," he said, looking at her. Tara just stared at him, or rather, past him. Nick bit his lower lip, trying to figure out how to get her to eat. He sighed and opened the bottle, holding it up to her lips and pouring a small amount into her mouth. He was pleased when he saw her swallow. He smiled at her, "That's good. Now let me know when you don't want anymore, OK?" He continued to pour small amounts of the water into her mouth until nearly half the bottle was gone. Tara finally closed her mouth against the bottle, and Nick pulled it back, looking at her. "You don't want anymore?" he asked. She still didn't respond to him, so he placed the bottle back on the tray and picked up the plate. Nick looked at the food on the plate, wondering if she would eat it. It was her favorites, some fruit and some scrabbled eggs. He tried the eggs first, placing some on the fork and holding it toward her. "You're gonna have to chew this," he said, holding the fork close to her lips. He smiled when she opened her mouth and took the bite. He watched as she slowly chewed the food, then swallowed. "OK this is good. Now if you'd just talk to me," he said, giving her another bite. Nick fed her most of the eggs and fruit before she refused to take them from him again. He then gave her another drink, and when she finally stopped drinking, the bottle was almost empty. He put it back on the tray and took a napkin and gently wiped her mouth, "There we go." Nick stared at her, looking for some sign of recognition, and not getting any. She was going through the motions, but she was still locked somewhere in her mind, not willing to come back yet. He reached up and brushed a stray hair from her eyes and sighed, "Tara, what am I gonna do with you? Please come back. I'm sorry for what I did, I got carried away and didn't think of how it would affect you. It's done now, and I know that I can't take it back, but I want you to know that I'm sorry." He watched as a tear left her eye and traveled down her cheek, falling to the bed. "Tara, please. I don't care if you scream at me, hit me, anything, just come back," Nick pleaded. She blinked a few times, as more tears appeared. Nick reached up and gently wiped them away, "I'm so sorry." Tara looked up at him, staring into his eyes. Nick could see the pain and heartache back in them. He held her cheek in his hand, "Tara?" She blinked a few more times, then reached up and pulled his hand away from her. "Tara, I'm so sorry," Nick said again. "Don't," she said quietly. Nick didn't touch her, but stayed where he was, sitting facing her, "I'm so sorry, there's nothing more I can say." "You killed Brian," she whispered, letting the tears fall. Nick bit his lip, seeing the pain she was in, "I'm sorry. I got so carried away and all I could see was that if he was gone, then you'd come to me. Tara if I apologize from now until eternity it wouldn't be enough, and I know that now. I just wish I would've figured it out sooner, and not done it." "Well, it's to late for that now isn't it?!" she yelled. Nick hung his head, feeling her emotions and knowing what he was putting her through. "Please, I'll do anything," Nick said, looking back up at her. Tara shook her head, "You can't bring him back, please just kill me so I can be with him," she begged. Nick closed his eyes, not expecting those words from her, "I can't." Tara pulled her knees up to her chest and put her head in her hands, letting all her emotions out through the endless supply of tears. "Please," she begged. Nick cautiously reached out and pulled her into a hug. She didn't fight him, so he held her, letting her emotions sweep through him, and shedding his own tears with her. "I'm sorry," he said again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lyn woke to the sound of someone coming into the room. She looked up, seeing Kevin walk in. "Hey, I didn't mean to wake you," he said, sitting down next to her. "It's OK," she said, pushing herself up in the chair, "What time is it?" "Bout nine," Kevin replied. Lyn looked over at Brian, he was still asleep. "He been out all night?" Kevin asked. "Yeah, for the most part. He woke up once and had to go to the bathroom, that was it," she said. "How long you think he's gonna be like this?" he asked. She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not sure. I hope not to much longer." "Yeah me to," Kevin said, sighing. "Any luck finding his ring?" Lyn asked. He shook his head, "We searched for hours. Everywhere he was we looked ten times. I don't know where it is." "I think I do," she said. Kevin looked at her curiously. "I think Jered took it. I think he took it to prove to whoever that he'd done what he set out to do," she said. Kevin thought about it, "Yeah, makes sense." Lyn looked at Kevin wide eyed, suddenly realizing something she hadn't thought of. "What?" he asked, seeing her face. "I just thought of this. What if they took his ring and gave it to Tara, telling her he was dead? You know how close they are, if she thought he was dead, she might give up," Lyn said. Kevin ran his hand through his hair, "Damn, you're right. That could be the breaking point for her if she's been fighting them this whole time." "Kev, you know she has. Look at how much pain Brian's been in," Lyn said. "Yeah," he said, looking over at his cousin. As if on cue, Brian moaned and woke up, looking around. Kevin and Lyn both got up and walked to the side of the bed. "Hey cuz, how you feeling?" Kevin asked. "Like shit, how you doing?" Brain said. Kevin laughed, "Well, better than you right now, but not by much." Brian smiled and looked over at Lyn, "Hi." She smiled at him, "Hi yourself. You hungry?" Brian though for a moment, "Kinda." "I'll have someone get something from the cafeteria for you," Kevin said, turning and leaving the room. Lyn waited until he was out of the room before looking back to Brian. "We need to talk," she said. Brian sat up more in bed and looked at her, "I know." "You remember what happened last night?" she asked him. He nodded, "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that." "Then why did you?" she asked. Brian looked down at his hands, "I'm not sure.. I just..." Kevin walked back into the room, "The nurse is going to get you something." "Thanks," Brian said, looking up at him. Kevin looked back and forth between the two, "Um, did I miss something? What's going on?" Lyn smiled, "Nothing. We're just both worried, that's all." Kevin looked at Brian. "She's right. It's been, what, four days now? And seven for Nick. We're just really worried about them," Brian said. Kevin put his hand on Brian's leg, "I know, we all are. I can't begin to know how you two are feeling right now, but I know that I'd be going out of my head if it was Kristin. I don't know how you two are making it." Brian reached over and took Lyn's hand in his, "I guess we're leaning on each other. If she wasn't here, I'd already gone out of my mind." Lyn smiled, "And the same with me. I would've lost it a long time ago if it wasn't for Brian being there for me." Kevin smiled, "Well, thank God you have each other to help through this. And I know they're gonna come back, they have to." Brian and Lyn smiled at each other, both wishing Kevin would leave so they could continue their conversation. But he didn't. He ended up staying all day, and A.J. and Howie showed up too. All hopes of them finishing the conversation left. Lyn finally left, going back to the house to rest a little and clean up. Brian was glad that she decided to go. She looked almost as exhausted as he felt, and it was starting to get uncomfortable between them. They needed to talk, and soon. Ted came in and checked on Brian, staying for a few minutes and talking with the guys. Brian could tell something was different with him, but couldn't put his finger on what it was. He was so tired, he really didn't care at the moment either. All day he'd been fighting the urge to cry, and this overwhelming sadness kept washing through him. He tried to sleep, but kept waking up, almost in tears. Ted was about to leave when Brian stopped him. "Ted, can I talk to you?" he asked. "Sure Brian," he said. "Alone," Brian added. The rest of the guys looked at him, but didn't argue, and left the room. Ted walked over and sat down, "What can I do for you?" Brian could take it no more, and broke down in tears. "Please knock me out or something so I don't have to feel this," he begged. Ted looked at him concerned, "Tell me what you're feeling." "I want to die. My heart is in a thousand pieces and I just don't want to live anymore," Brian cried. Ted put his hand on Brian's shoulder, "Is this your feelings, or is this Tara's?" Brian wiped the tears from his face, "I'm not sure. I think it's both. Please Ted, I'm so tired and I can't sleep because I feel this. Please just knock me out for a few hours, please," he begged. "I don't like doing this to you. All these drugs in your system aren't good for your recovery," Ted said. Brian put his head in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably. "But this isn't good for you either," Ted said, squeezing his shoulder, "I'll have Lydia come in and give you a shot, OK?" Brian looked up at him, tears streaming down his face, "Thank you." "Hang on, and I'll go get her," Ted said, leaving the room. Brian waited for several minutes, still crying. Once he started he couldn't stop. He looked up as Ted and Lydia came into the room, followed by the guys. Brian hated for them to see him like this, but he couldn't help it. Lydia put the shot in Brian's IV and left the room. "It'll take it a few minutes to work," Ted told him. Brian nodded, and put his head back in his hands, waiting. Kevin, A.J. and Howie watched as Brian sat in bed and continued to cry. They all felt for him, knowing that he was feeling Tara's pain. "God, when is this gonna stop?" A.J. asked. Howie and Kevin just shrugged their shoulders, wondering the same thing. Brian sat up and put his head back on the pillow, starting to feel the effects of the drug. He didn't fight it, letting his eyes close. Kevin walked over and took his hand, holding it until he knew that Brian was out. Howie went into the bathroom and came back with some tissues, cleaning the tears from Brian's face. "Ted, when is he gonna be OK enough to get out of here?" A.J. asked. "Well, I was gonna release him in the morning if everything looked alright, but with him feeling what he is, I'm not so sure about it now," he answered. "What did he tell you?" Kevin asked. Ted looked at him, "He said he wanted to die." "That's not like him to give up like this," Howie said. "No, it's not. It's not even like Tara to give up like that," A.J. said. Kevin sighed, remembering his talk with Lyn earlier that morning. "Yeah, but if they told her he was dead, it would," he said. They all looked at him. "Kev, she would have to know they were lying to her," Howie said. "Not if they give her his ring. She knows he never takes it off. And if they are drugging her like they did Nick, she may not be able to feel what Brian does," Kevin said. "Damn, if she thinks he's dead, there's no telling what's gonna happen," A.J. said. "You got that right. We need to be ready for anything," Kevin said. Chapter 43 |