The Adventures of the Barbarian . . . and Friends!
__________I The Barbarian__________
He wandered from the frozen wastes of the North, to the hellish jungles of the South, and everywhere in-between carrying nothing with him, not even a name, only a sword as large and savage as himself. He was a barbarian, if any name or title could be given; and all the civilized people suspected him of causing mayhem, the shortage of local game, and any chaotic event which happened when he passed by their cities and towns. But he only entered those cities and towns when he drew near enough to see them, and then he would head to the nearest tavern to drown himself with the local brew. He could drink any man under the table, and often did, and the only time he slept in a bed was if the barkeep rolled him there after passing out. Men often challenged him, testing their might against his, and were humiliated in the process. And women fled from him, fearing his bear-like stature and cold, empty, black stare. Elder children made up tales about him to scare the smaller ones, telling about how he would drag off bad little boys and girls in their sleep and eat them in the night.
But, none of this has much to do with this particular tale. He had never eaten a child, nor kidnapped a woman, nor intentionally dishonoured a man in front of his friends . . . The barbarian didn't quite have the intellect for such immoral acts. Instead, he simply wandered and battled when he could because whenever he heard the cries of men or the clashing of swords, he just couldn't seem to keep his hand from the hilt of his sword. And whenever his hands grasped the hilt of his sword, he just couldn't seem to keep the sword from swinging about and cleaving large goblins or greedy dwarves to pieces or anybody else he felt was in the wrong such as bandits raiding homesteads or black knights making little women scream.
And this particular adventure started with a similar circumstance. The barbarian was wandering near a forest of lilac, and though the world around him was hard and brown with late autumn, this particular wood looked soft like a twilight evening in spring. But just within the tree line, he could hear the ringing of steel, metal meeting wood and the grumbling of evil voices. This made him angry because the forest looked so peaceful and sweet and the sounds of the wood chopping was so wicked to disturb the songs of small birds in their nests. A large, paw-like hand grasped the hilt of his great sword and pulled it from where it was secured to his back. It was a massive blade, as tall as a man and nearly as thick. With both hands secured around the grip, he ran screaming into the woods, fur-lined leather boots galloping upon the delicate blades of green grass which surrounded the upturned earth of his predecessor's tracks.
There in a circle, around a proud oak which stood in denial of the axes pinching chunks from its wide base, was a band of dwarves clothed in black. They made such a racket themselves, and were so busy ignoring the pestering whistles of an angry family of jays, the bothersome chatter of squirrels who lived there, and the annoyed hiss of a badger from its hole at the foot of the tree, that they did not even hear the battle cries of the on coming warrior. Not even when his great sword cleaved a dwarf in two causing his ax to fall and a river of ugly blood splattering onto the tree as the halves of his dead body piled onto the mossy forest floor.
"STOP!" the barbarian bellowed as he leapt over half a dwarf and chopped into the next one when his ax was pulled back in mid-swing.
The badger hissed as a dead dwarf fell onto the opening to its hole, and clawed paws kicked at the body until it was pushed aside, but that wasn't enough for the angered little animal who also took a good bite out of the body just for spite.
The next dwarf wasn't taken off guard, however, and he pulled back waving his ax in the air and calling for the others attentions.
But it was too late for the dwarves, because the barbarian was blinded into a rage and the dwarf's cries were answered by his great sword being driven into his head even though there was an ax nearby trying to stop the blow.
A nest of baby jays shivered with each ax strike, and the parents darted this way and that screeching angrily at everything going on. The chicks cried in complete confusion and there was a rain of leaves and twigs from the upper level of the tree as squirrels shook the branches in defiance of the tree-chopping dwarves.
Half of the band continued their evil work while the other rallied up to their attacker, swinging their weapons and their beards. But against the mad frenzy of the berserker's blade, sparks flew as ax heads popped off of their handles and beards met the gnarled roots while a rain of twigs and leaves covered the pools of blood. The barbarian didn't hesitate his hack-and-slash path through the short tree killers until he left a pile of bodies and moved in to the persistently chopping dwarves that were left.
But they didn't quite pass their morale check, and soon fled, leaving their half finished work and their fallen friends as they were chased down to a wagon which pulled off leaving their pursuer behind.
Two mad jays followed in the chase, hissing and pecking the skulls of the running dwarves while a band of squirrels followed through the trees, chattering at those who retreated.
"Leave tree alone!" the barbarian roared once the wagon pulled off, exiting the forest, and he wagged his great sword in the air above his head which nicked the tips off of leaves, "Oops . . . " calming from his rage, he pulled his sword down to look at the half a leaf sticking to the blood coated blade.
Not sure what else to do, the barbarian turned around and walked through the beautiful woods listening to the content song of the jays flying around him. The canopy above him was a thick purple-green of rich leaves and stars twinkled in-between the parting of trees where small meadows were spread with clovers and Johnny-jump-ups scattered across the grass. All around the brute of a man was pure, untouched beauty, and the shade of the trees did not blacken the forest floor even in the deep of night.
He knelt down beside a spring surrounded by water crests just as a doe and her fawn were grazing next to it. The barbarian noticed that they did not seem to mind his presence, and he smiled because the animals were pretty, and the baby one was cute. Two massive hands dipped down into the clear water and he splashed his face a couple of times before leaning back and shaking his head letting water splatter off of his damp mane like a dog.
A curious rabbit had come up to join the deer nibbling at the clover and lifted one long ear at the barbarian's actions as if that had just been the strangest thing the hare had seen in its entire life. But the rabbit and the deer didn't have long to observe the giant man before they moved along to mind their own wild animal business, leaving him to wave one hand at their parting, "Bye-bye, deers and rabbit."
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