| *The smell of exhaust fumes and a V8 350 with opened headers do a better job of waking you up than that annoying alarm clock *Playing off-road games like Who Can Get Stuck the Worst and Who Can Come out With the Most Damage *Break out the Beer, Blazers and Broncos *Set a world record for most marsh mallows roasted on an engine fire *Try to see if you can disprove the law of gravity. maybe one day your rig won't tip after going past the critical angle over that damn rock! *It's more fun than stripping naked and doing the Chicken Dance *When you were a kid you played in the mud .Why Change? *It's in our blood. *As kids we used to play in the dirt,only now it involves keys and a four wheel drive *Most 4x4s have mokey bars on top *What better way can you think of to bond with kids? Lifestyle *I need a quick fix-I haven't spun my wheels in days *I the smell of exhaust cooked mud in the morning *To beat your beater *So you can watch the tractors on the other side of the hill *When you get to the top you can do that"king of the world" thing *Who doesn't want to get stuck, poke a hole in the radiator, break an axle shaft, and get muddy, greasy, and sweaty all at the same time? *What's the point of having a lawn if you cant drive across it at high speeds with aggressive tires? *You have more copies of 4- Wheel & Off-Road than Import Tuner *The number of CDs you've ruined while off-roading has hit the double-digits *You've switched your college major to Journalism in the hopes that you can write for 4-wheel & Off-Road some day *You've been in fist fights over Mickey Tompson vs Super Swampper *While your friends are checking out the hottey walking by, you're busy drooling over the lifted truck she just stepped out of *You think trail damage adds character *You kiss your truck good night *35s, winches, and brush guards dot care about Armor All and touch-up paint *The best support group is your four wheel drive club *So you can get away from those fake image bastards *Carnage *There,s always the opportunity for those who must perform the "stuck victory dance" *You need to get to your favorite hunting spot *You need to get to your favorite camping spot *Because today is the last day that muddle will be open *It's been a whole day since the last time you've been wheeling *It's been one of those days that only a cooler of beer and some goodfour-wheelin' can fix *Getting stuck is a great excuse to fire up the tractor and pull yourself out *What better reason can you find for spending a weekend in a garage? *Big trucks, big tires, big engines, tenuous terrain, and beer *Driving sideways on the dirt is more fun than driving strait on the road *Nothing says weekend like mud bath *For that proud moment when your under powered rig outdoes that big block your friend has *So you can laugh at your friend and his S-10 *Significant Other *It's another way to scare your wife (or husband) *If you're wheeling in the mud you can ask them really nicely to lock the hubs so they ruin their shoes *To get some cow pies for your wife's garden *It looks like your mother in law is coming to visit *Your significant other always gives you "that look" after you lovingly stroke you mud tires after an off-road trip *Coming back from the trail with a nice coat of mud on your rig will make for a nice planter for your wife *Imagine that rock you just went over was your mother in law *If you didn't have to fix your 4x4 every weekend, you'd have to visit your in laws all the time *If your wife/girlfriend is yelling at you for spending too much time with your rig, compromise and take her with you *Because they always seem to say ," What's so fun about about driving in the dirt *Four-wheel drive is the only way to get to that secluded spot with you honey *It's a guy thing; you wouldn't understand (at least that's what I tell the women) *I have to have a truck that can out bog my girlfriend's *You need to show your wife that the vacation money was put to good use *To see if the new girlfriend makes the grade. If she hates it keep her *Anything beats the ol' family reunion *Anything beats the ol' wedding anniversary *Anything beats the ol' wedding reception *Anything beats the ol' graduation party *The doctor just diagnosed you with fourwheelitis *Your wife will like it because it's a family outing, you'll like it because she's out of the vehicle at the first obstacle truck anyway Breaking the law *Driving over newly land scape parking lot barriers isn't the same as the real thing *The cop will be off your tail by the first or second mud hole *You can make a U turn on a divided highway on the first try *All others must fear the stare of headlights in the rear window *The best parking at the mall is usually on top of th landscape *That construction site won't be there forever *Most rigs can roll over on command *Just knowing that if you wanted to you could drive over that lowrider in front of you *The police wont make it far off-road *The revenuers were on your tail PAGE 3 |
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