Simon Reader First up was Simon. A very keen and enthusiastic young actor. Loved by the good and generally feared by the bad. When he first went down on his hands and knees the judges were a tiny bit confused but politely refused to say anything. Perhaps Simon was going to start by begging? Sadly no. Immediately after he started shuffling around the floor while trying to solve the aeons long dilemma of just how does a human with no props simulate a moose and provide a convincing set of antlers. The judges thought the moose might lead into a turkey at some point but their hopes were dashed when Simon quite innocently asked "What does a moose do?"
Janet McNeill She seemed so quiet before her turn arrived. And then suddenly she exploded into life complete with vocalisations, anatomical simulations, arm flapping and random walking to and fro. Almost believable, certainly enthusiastic, definitely committed but ultimately brought down by one fatal mistake that would have demanded a complete script rewrite... no feathers!
Feather T Very impressive. The judges were all a flutter when this guy walked in. Costume design top-notch and his acting skills almost made the judges believe they were looking at the real thing. He flapped, gobbled and bounced around like there was no tomorrow. A firm favourite with all the judges. Unfortunately T pulled out when he actually read the ending of the script. Apparently no-one was going to be plucking, stuffing or defeathering him if he had anything to say about it. Actors eh? All feathers and no giblets.
Herbert Wow. What can be said apart from that? This little star came dressed for the job in a nice Morrison's outer jacket. Plucked, self basting, not too feathered but just enough, neck already bagged and just the right weight too. And after the good roasting he was given the little stunner continued to impress. And best of all, wings!

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