I've grown tired of the scared and closed minds that lash out in their own terror. People are so afraid to accept the truth. Will they be condemned by their blindness? Or will they open their minds and see the beauty of truth?
11/20/04
All is right with the world. It's as it's supposed to be. And I'm left with this emptiness. There is no suffering, no pain, no loneliness, no worry, only a peace from the perfect harmony of chaos. What a beautiful life!
12/01/04
Life has it's perfect way sometimes. And yet I find perfection in these inherent "flaws" that make each of us absolutely perfect....
12/05/04
Fear or delight?
It's a scary thing to open your eyes so completely and see the things that would otherwise pass unnoticed. You never know what you'll find until it comes to you. You may love it or be terrified by it. That comes with the choice of acceptance. Sometimes you can even be lucky enough to share these precious moments of acceptance and dive right into a sea of delight. In this, you can see clarity and purity. In this is where I just found two souls dancing...
Well, after extending myself so much, it seems that everything really does work out. I have a really kick ass girlfriend!!! I'm going to go have the best sundae in the world for New Years... In San Fransisco!!! And I'm relieved with the good news that my brother is nowhere near the coastlines where the tsunamis have wreaked so much havoc.
1/18/05
Living inside my own head is such a beautiful torment sometimes. My own fears love to burn on the fuel of hypocracy, anger, confusion, lies, deceit, and denial. I'm so critical of myslef that it kills to accept myself. I just wonder if those that I love can accept me.
1/19/05
My Horrorscope for the day:
"You're truly free these days. If you want to commit body and soul to a relationship or a cause, that's your choice. Anything you do will be fun and correct. If the stars say that's how it is, then that's how it must be."
...well, I certainly hope so... After all, what would there be without hope?
2/05/05
Again, I hear the dreaded warnings and it makes me feel so uneasy. "Don't walk into the blazing flames! They hurt! They can kill you!" But I don't want to listen the opinions that fuel the contradicting voices. I know better. I have to know better. I have to believe that there's more than just what you see. If there isn't, then my beliefs are exposed as a farse. And my faith is nothing more than a masocistic fantasy in disguise, based on a nonexistant concept. I can't listen. I won't listen. If I don't have faith, what is life worth? I don't think that I could live without faith. I'd rather live without life...
(Note to the evil voices in my head (inspired by Drea):"Shut the fuck up and put that mouth to better use! Suck my DICK!")
2/14/05
Someone else always says it better... "it's like a slap in the face combined with a sucker punch."
2/19/05
After all is said and done, "it took a cup of coffee"...