Thank you everyone for some of the most phenomenal experiences that I've had in the past few weeks!!! Ropework for five straight days was wonderfully reviving! It was fantastic to make some new friends there as well. I found people to inspire me in many ways. I found people who share the same zest for life that I do. It was no less than incredible.
And there was even a point of extreme emotional/meditative development that helped me transcend into a realm of my subconscious that I can't explain. It is a blessing and a curse. Now I know what it takes to constantly fall... The dilemma: Should this be counscious or something that just happens on its own? On one hand, I know that I can easily stay emotionally fullfilled with one person for the rest of my life, not just to love them but to fall in love with them over and over again, all the time. On the other hand, how much of this should be by choice?
6/9/04
I think of many different people in so many different ways. I've surpassed my own expectations in ways that have left me with no expectations. I walk into the future blindly, yet I see it all. Harmony of chaos is peace. The balance is within and thoughout. Live, love, inspire, grow, learn, share. The world is yours...
6/16/04
Funny how what I have discovered is so well documented. And yet, I have spoken to so few people who are familiar with it by experience. The japanese refer to it as "satori". Unfortunately, I haven't met anyone yet who has personally applied it to the extent or extreme that I have. I feel unguided in this exploration. Is there anyone within my reach who does this consciously also?
6/17/04
I wonder why it is that people are afraid of the empowered. I don't believe that most people thrive to be ignorant. There must be a self-preservation issue there that keeps people from exploring their potential. With a private experiment last night, I tried to motivate people last night to push their potential using images and phrases that would inspire them to drive themselves. It worked! I wonder why it took me so long to try this with people? It's not manipulation, but rather drawing doubt in their motivations for doubting themselves. When you do that, the "reasons" for limiting yourself become weak.
What happens when you doubt the influencial power of your own fears?
6/22/04
I've found myself in an interesting position yet again. I found myself isolated with thoughts that very few can understand by experience, but can relate to conceptually. Then I discovered that where I am is not new. It is, at the very least, hundreds of years old. It is impossible to quantify or measure. It is boundless. It is the true freedom. I've started to push and apply this and many side-effects of it to many different life experiences, from emotion, bonding, projection, recieving, and instinct to physical coordination, balance, skill, interpretation, creativity, and construction. I have pushed well beyond boundaries that I've feared, loathed, loved, and even aspired. Now I've yet to see anyone who applies it in the way that I do to bondage and the journey it can involve. With all the psychological impressions, influences, and journeys, I haven't found anyone who pushes the projection of energy to this extent. It is much more than just bonding. It's feeding off of another's energy of life to boost and manipulate your creation of existance beyond the realm of what most would agree is "reality". I have done this before in several different aspects life. But a new challenge arose from this discovery. Could I do this by myself? I found myself, while in this self-suspension that I've been practicing, at a moment of particular clarity in which I was able to harmonize, focus, and generate a journey that left me exhausted emotionally. It was no less than perfect. I wonder if this is something that I could teach others to do. I would love to see other humble people cherish the splendor of life in this manner. This harmony is too beautiful not to share. And yet when I'm fortunate enough to meet someone who is clear enough to "recieve and project", there never seems to be enough time to build it into something worthwhile. So now I trod onward in search of an open, embracing soul....
7/2/04
True Beauty
I have seen so many beautiful people. A true radiance that emminates from within and pierces you, like a soft piece of fruit on a summer day, is the most impressive I had known. It's the reflection of a person's "spirit" (if you will) that shows the essense of a person and thier aura. It is naked and pure. When you see that, you know the real essense of a person. There is where I see the true beauty.
What do you see when you look at me?
7/18/04
It's really an interesting dynamic to watch how you can affect others so strongly when your ennergy flows freely. I'm delighted to help and inspire those who are close to me. It's great to see so many people getting what they deserve out of life. And to those who haven't yet, keep it up. You'll get what you have coming to you...
7/23/04
In loving memory of my BabyDog... my Princess... my child... You are free. May your spirit fly with a smile, always...