Bondage or Freedom?
(still debating whether to post this thought)
11/27/03
NANANANANANA!!!!! I got some Puerto Rican Egg Nog!!!! Well, only a gallon of it.... and one hell of a buzz going..... There's only 1..... ...51!!!!! (Just look for the Black Bat!)
....damn that 151 is kickin' my ass right now..... Happy Turkey Day everyone!!!!
12/02/03
Mood Music: Sarah McLachlan - Dirty Little Secret
"Love is a friendship set on fire." - Jeremy Taylor
12/22/03
I'm still recouperating from Saturday night's party. Drinking for 12 hours straight is kinda tough.... But I had a lot of fun. And my ass had a lot of "hands on"! Still don't completely understand the fascination with my ass. I guess bending over the pool table just draws more attention to it or something, but I'm not complaining. :)
12/25/03 2:25 am
Tonight was one of the best times I've had in a while. (introspectively speaking) I had great company, and was completely emotionally fed. There was the bar, quenching my almost insatiable thirst upon arrival. Then there was magic!... ...a surreal magic that happened only inside my own head, but it was there. I saw the bare dance floor and felt the deliberate intension delivered through the music. I was completely in awe. I couldn't help but dance. I became overwhelmed in the romanticized sensuality of the music, my imagination, and scope of it all. I was so overwhelmed and lost in all of it. There was no boundary between us. I felt the sexuality, sensuality, and deliberate romance. I was overrun in the waves of the fantasticly pleasurable romance of it. Feeling the waves wash over me like warm bath water, I gracefully motioned with insatiable acceptance of your intent. And yo watched me all the while without denial. I craved the warmeth the emminated from within you. I imagined you cradled like a lifetime lover, and you fed me the entire time. Full of pleasure, I basked in your affectin until I drowned from this world into the one where only you and I exist. Lost in my desire for you I hovered until my reality hit. I had to leave.
Atmosphere: A perfect mood where I couldn't possibly say, "No."
Thoughts: Why do I deny my insatiable weakness for romance?
Wish: I wish she'd have the courage to say to me the things that I've regretted not saying.
The world inside my head: I may not have you in my heart at the monent, but there is nothing more that I want at this moment than the taste of you lingering for a lifetime....
(This may just be another over-romanticized moment in life that passes by and withers away like an unpicked fruit.)
Sweet dreams.... are made of this...
12/26/03
Today I'm enjoying the aftermath of everything. Living, loving, cherishing these moments, the good and the bad. Every moment is a gift. It's all there is... and it could all be gone tomorrow...
What exactly to say... Tonight is the first night of the spring season with me as the new team billiard captain and the new division corep, after finishing second last season and getting more trophies. Just a little more obligation, but it's something that I enjoy and have an apptitude for. Also, I just picked up some references for my writing. I found I still have some ink cartridges and tips. Hopefully my hand can be elegant and smooth again without too much practice. I haven't practiced my calligraphy in so long. And I have some important things to write for special people in my life. So much to do with so little time. :)
It's those moments in between that you spend by yourself that you know that you're not alone and always loved. It's the thoughts, actions, and intent that transpires through everything. Thanx to everyone that I love in different ways: BER & CDG (boat drinks...), TA & RA, RA & CA, DAH, JJ, CR, MC, MA, Cleo, Logan (who is by my side), JM, DM & AM & family, CB, RF & Corgan, JK, TP & JM, JS, AF, WH, AH (who has rescued me at one of my worst nights), CT & TST (who are just awesome in general), IM, JB, MS, and everyone else (you know who you are) that I haven't mentioned....