suicide

SUICIDE ~ by
          Life is not always easy but we do have to make the best of what is given. Or so, at least I am told. Sometimes I feel like my cards come from a rotten deck. I am here to talk to you about the most tradgic thing that has ever happened to me. It may sound awful, but is unfortunately true. I was given a most precious gift from God, my son Brandon, he was born Jan 30, 1989. What a beautiful baby, full of colour, eyes of an angel. When I looked into his eyes I knew that I had a little piece of Heaven right there in my arms. Now, this was a happy baby, I had it so easy with him, he was always happy, smilin and bringing me joy that I had never thought I would have. But there it was, right there in front of me. I was and still am the luckiest woman in the world to have been blessed with this wonderful little person. The years went on, he became even more beautiful, smart, very smart, funny, he was everything a mother could want in a son. Words cannot even describe the feelings this child put into my heart. Mother's know, its a bond that, no matter what, cannot be broken. That is, until God calls them back to be with Him. This is where my entire world just fell apart, literally.

          On October 2, 2000, my baby had a bad day at school, came home and went right to his room to listen to music. So far not a problem, right? WRONG!!!!!! About 30 minutes after he arrived home I went to talk to him about his day. Now my nightmare really begins....I walked into his room, only to find that my sweet little 11 year old son had hung himself. Well you can very well imagine that I went into hysterics, getting him down, giving him mouth to mouth...No matter what I did, nothing worked, not even for the doctors. Well that was the day the Lord took my son and half of me. Yes, it's an ugly word suicide but that does not make it go away. As a mother of course I felt that I had let him down, but God knows what he is doing and he knew I was to have my gift for only a little while..

          Since that day I have started a Suicide Awareness Program in my town in his memory. It's out there people, no matter how hard we try putting it on the back shelf, it will come and attack us when we least expect it. If I can save just one family from feeling the pain I felt then maybe my sons death will not have been for nothing. Pay attention to the people in your life, save them if you can. Educate yourself on Suicide it just might save the life of someone you love..

TO MY SON BRANDON ~
          I'm not mad anymore sweetie, I don't know why you are gone or why you did this but it was your choice and I have to respect that because I respect you. I love you my little angel and I know that when my work here on earth is done, that you will come to meet me and it will be then that I get my gift back. For now, you be happy in the land where roads are paved gold. Take care of little Tyler and be his friend because down here his mommy is hurting for him as I am for you. We found each other and I know you and Tyler will help us stay strong.
I will love you forever
I will love you for always
As long as I'm living
My son you will be
Spread your wings and fly Brandon!!