journal

Britty's Journal
(or at least Britty's deep thoughts she wants to write down)

Dec. 26, 2002 ~

I, my friends, am single. Definitely single...no doubt about that. As a matter of fact, I haven't been on a date since August! In the world of Fairland High School, that automatically dubs me as being a loser. After all, those who stand alone, without the happy couple facade, just must be missing out on something, right???
     Sure, I used to see it that way too. My friends can tell you that there wasn't a day that went by in which I didn't whine my rear end off about how much I "needed" a guy to complete me. Yeah right! I'm pretty sure God made me strong enough to stand on my own two feet because He knew that I would be single at some point in my life.
    As nice as it is to have someone, I'm not complaining anymore. You daters may think that I'm missing out, but I propose that it's really the other way around.
    1. I don't have to answer to some guy about what I'm doing or who I'm gonna be with.
    2. I'm free to go out with friends, without the tag along boyfriend.
    3. I can watch all the tear-jerker chick flicks I like, and I don't have to watch boring sci-fi or action movies just because my boyfriend wants to.
    4. No horrible break-ups!
    5. I have the intrigue of never knowing what awesome guy might pop up just around the corner.
    6. And most importantly, God can use me SO much more when my brain isn't wrapped up in some boy!

    So the next time that you start to tell your friend, "Condolences on your dating handicap", remember that maybe single and ready to mingle is the way to be!

Dec. 28, 2002 ~

     Almost a new year again. How hard is that to swallow?? Before we know it, another school year will have come and gone, leaving us only with memories of all the awesome times we shared. *sniff* Some of my best buds are graduating this coming spring, so it's not something I'm particularly thrilled about. I've never had a close friend who graduated that I really kept in touch with once they were in college...how insanely sickening to thin that these boys might be out of my life by this time next winter!
     This time last winter I had gotten myself into quite a predicament. My 3 best girls and I had gotten into this enormous fight, and I wasn't speaking to any of them, which made for a fairly lousy Christmas. I prayed soooo hard over break so that God would bring new friends into my path, because I was sure that my old ones didn't want me anymore.
     My friend Brittani (who just so happened to be the only friend I was still speaking to) was dating a guy named Adam during this time, who had a brother named Bryan. Somehow, right around the beginning of March, I started crushing on Bryan, and by March 12 we were a couple. We dated for 4 months, which was fun while it lasted, and in that time period I became friends with his bro and some of his friends. I even became reaquainted with a cousin that I had been separated from. Lo and behold, God had given me new friends! And what's even more praiseworthy to Him is that He mended fences between myself and the old ones too. We're one big happy group now! God is so awesome. :)
    But...those friends that God so lovingly brought across my path are now the ones who will be leaving in May. It breaks my heart, and I don't exactly understand it...I don't know how my senior year could be as fun without them.
    I just keep getting taken back to 1 Corinthians 2:9..my life-verse. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." I'm sure awesome things are in store for the whole group of us. I just don't know what's going to happen to the group of us once this year is over.
    That's enough prying into my brain for today. Maybe tomorrow I'll have some more insight. haha

Dec. 29, 2002 ~

    Tonight I was lying in bed watching "You've Got Mail", and it occured to me how incredibly inaccurate those movies are. Romance is never that romantic. I've had some pretty nice moments...like standing in the middle of a thunderstorm kissing the guy of my dreams (well...at least the guy of my dreams at that moment!). But what relationship between your everyday, run-of-the-mill John and Jane Doe really has that kinda romance?!
    There was one particular I guess you coul call it 'friends with benefits' kinda thing I had going once that read almost EXACTLY like a sappy teen romance movie. Looking back on it now, I want to gag myself half to death just thinking about how cheesy it was! It was your typical girl wants guy, but does guy want girl?? kinda thing. In the end, it was a whole lotta nothing with a guy who was a whole lotta nothing. The movies never show you that. All you see is the guy getting the girl or vice versa as the case may be.
     In the spring some friends and I went to see Spiderman. As soon as the credits began to role I complained about how the poor guy ended up alone, to which Bryan said, "That's the thing! It's different." I thought "typical male" and went along with my day, but thinking about it now (when hindsight is always 20/20) he was so entirely right! What if more movies ended with real life probable outcomes. Maybe people (like me, for example) woudn't beat themselves up b/c of a lack of Hollywood "love". Or maybe America would completely lose all imagination of what true love COULD amount to.
    Either way, my goal in life: To marry a man with whom I can have a storybook ending.

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