Quotes: 2000-2001
These quotes are from this year! Enjoy!
"Well, I think it is supposed to be exaggerated, so that's how we are going to play it...because I'm the band director!" ~Mr. E
"We sightread like pigs" ~Mr. E
"If we take all the notes you missed off the floor, we'd have a new piece!" ~Mr. E
"The orchestra thinks the saxophone is a bastard instrument" ~Mr. E
"Grab a bag of popcorn and have a popcorn party!" ~Mr. E
"Is there a beautiful melody being played?...I mean, is there a melody?"
"Bad Andy!" ~Mr. E and the rest of the flute section...besides me b/c I don't get it!...Yes I do b/c I saw the commercial!
"m" ~Barb
"Indian Whore" ~unknown
"Drew and his pudding" ~Tiffany
"Call Vitello 'pretzel rod'!" ~Drew
"This spot should be SO loud, that every old grandma in the back row with white hair and diapers should just lose it...hair and feces...it will be great..." ~Mr. E
"Even though I show it in weird ways, I am proud of your guys." ~Mr. E (awwww...)
"Ugh...Benjamin Britten is gonna KILL me when I get to heaven..." ~Mr. E
"Never in 5 years..." ~Mr. Eicher
"It says fortissimo, not suckissimo!" ~Mr. E
"Geez! Man! Get a bucket if you're going to throw up all over yourself!" (When the euphoniums missed almost all the notes and rhythms in their solo) ~Mr. Eicher
"Friggin!" ~Drew, Tiff
"It's 6th period!!" ~Everyone for 6th period
"What? Say that again, I'm old." ~Mr. Eicher
"I'm not throwing things over here, I'm just knocking them over...like Mr. Magoo." ~Mr. Eicher
"You have to feel the notes when you practice...you must FEEL them, feel the air going through the instrument and really FEEEEL it" ~Mr. Eicher
"Bad Andy says - "Bye bye!" ~Section Leader (aka Lauren)
"Danielle, can I borrow your flute? I left mine at home....Oh wait no, there it is, I didn't realize I brought it" ~Megan
"I'm glad you feel that way" ~Mr. Stroth (he finally got a quote!)
"Remember that time you did (name of bandie that won't be mentioned)?" ~Katie/D
"Kelly and Friends" ~Mr. Whitwell (referring to Kelly's little solo)
"How's the clarinet choir?" ~Mr. W.
"Have you ever watched a glass of water evaporate in August?" ~Mr. W.
"Trumpets, you're in a catatonic state" ~Mr. W
"Here's Claire Clevenger!" ~Mr. W
"This part is so pretty. Pretty, pretty pretty...." ~Michelle
"Brad, what is that? You sound like you're barfing in your sax!" ~Mr. E
"It's sounds like somebody shot that clown!" (referring to my solo in "Send in the Clowns") ~Mr. E
"Mr. Eicher, want to see something cool?" ~Katie
"My underwear has pitch!" ~Katey
"Livin' Robida Loca!" ~Mr. Covington
"Eww, I smell like the Tuffy!" ~Katie
"My locker is full of shit...not literally, but metaphorically!" ~Katie
"Oh, a piece of my hair got caught in the vending machine! Oh, woops, it's Tiff's hair, and it's still connected!!!" ~D
"There's coffee on the floor!" ~Chris
"The trumpets are having a war with the saxophones....And the saxophones are winning." ~Mr. E
"Don't make it sound like Maralyn Monroe...make it sound like....my mother." ~ECMEA Conductor guy
"Play it loud, but not really loud." ~ECMEA Conductor
"Pretend you're going to meet God...or anyone else important...like a movie star.....or James Galway..."~ECMEA Conductor
"Don't play like you're four...play like you're thirty-four!"~ECMEA Conductor
"I only stop for the mistakes that I think that my mother, who knows nothing about music, would hear." ~ECMEA Conductor
"Play this part like you were explaining it to a very dense child." ~ECMEA Conductor
"Wait...are you talking about sex or chess?" ~Katey (not Brian!)
"It's coming with me, it's coming with me..." ~Katie
"If you were a horn player, I'd let you play horn." ~Mr. Conte
"Aww, you just missed me naked!" ~John
"He's not that hot!" ~Barb & Me
"I call "Bandana Dude!" ~Emily
"Your band director can't count!" (Mr. E said that there can only be 8 people at a table and no more than 2 people from each band can sit together) ~John
"Cool! You guys are doing "Lord of the Rings" too?...Oh wait...That's Mr. Carducci's score...." ~John
"Un two three four..." ~Mr. Conte
"Goo-Gee!" ~Mr. Conte (scatting)
"I'm in a good mood!" ~Tiffany
"Dude, I don't even know you, and I'm making fun of you!" ~Ed with the cool leather coat
"The drummer looked like a chunky Shawn!" ~Mr. Vitello
"I thought that Mr. Shaw looked like he could be Mr. Conte's dad" ~Justin
"Oh great, now this will be on the web page!" ~Mr. Vitello
"Now let the audience savor that." ~NYSSMA Judge (telling me to rest awhile between movements)
"You know those $160 CD players they have a Media Play? Well, I dropped one in the store and all the buttons came off." ~Karda
"I'm warped" ~Mr. E
"If I die, Danielle can't play flute!" ~Katey
"I'm such an @$$hole!!!!!" ~Mr. E
"I expected you to come back from vacation with sex changes and to float around and be like ::squeals and shrieks::" ~Mr. E
"Our ship's underwater...what I mean is that our ship left, I mean...::mumbles:: I mean our ship hasn't taken off yet!" ~Mr. E
"I'm practicing in this small ensemble room whether you like it or not, because I am a small ensemble! ~Brad
"Don't hit me, don't get scared, don't hit me, don't get scared..." ~D (when she had to go into the back room to help Tiff put candy on the cart...she either screams b/c she doesn't hear you, or she hits you trying to throw and empty box into the garbage!)
"See, we're all a team...The Percussion is the "Touch Team", the Brass are the "Buzz Team", and the Woodwinds are the "Blow Team". ~Vitello
"I have every Reagan to be--Damn! I mean reason!" ~D
"We need more "Bugs Bunny" style playing here." ~Mr. E
"Vibrate, Danielle! Vibrate!!!!!" ~Mr. E
"Hey, who gave Danielle the right to be in here [the music office] while everyone else is gone? Well, if all the band pencils are stolen, we know who did it!!" ~Stroth
"Maybe she feeds him hypnotic cookies..." ~Katie
"I'm as happy as a clam" ~Mr. E
"And the dream continues...." ~Mr. E (talking about his dream of a WE Utopia)
"You guys sound like you're at a carpenter's convention...::pretends to saw and hammer while singing the melody:: ::sighs:: feathers...." ~Mr. E
"Elsa's Procession to the Cathedral.....it's about a woman who is getting forced to marry but she doesn't want to....It's from the opera "Lohengrin"...Actually it's Hitler's favorite opera..but..." ~Mr. E
"You're annoying." ~D (to Samantha V. when she was being pathetically annoying)
"I like to wah wah faster than that" ~Mr. Case
"Blow Gabriel, BLOW! Faster! 'Ugh!' " ~Saxophones
QUOTES WITH DIALOUGE
Lauren: The Andy teddy bear is cute!
Mr. E: Yeah, if you like retarded teddy bears!
~~~
Mr. E: Start at letter H.
Jazz Ensemble: Okey!...::plays at H::
Mr. E: Grr!! I mean M, because I don't know my alphabet!
~~~
Brad: Are we woodwinds or brass?
Mr. E: You're wood HEADS!
~~~
Michelle: Mr. Lehner....Am I a crack head?
Mr. L: Ahhhmmm....Anyways....
~~~
::Clarinets and soprano sax play awful notes::
Mr. E: ::screams out in mock pain and suffers for about 2 minutes:: Arrrrrruughhh!!! Ahhh! That hurts!! Urgggg!!! Ack!!! Man, I feel like a dog that has just gotten the whistle blown at it!.....I could just bite someone....Uggh! Aww man!
~~~
V: ::smiles and laughs::
Chris: Why do you always smile V?
V: I dunno....It's band!
Unknown bandie: I know, everytime you yell at us, you start laughing!
~~~
Jazz Ensemble: ::playing "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy"::
Mr. E: ::cuts them off::
Mr. E: ::yelling in Brad's face holding an air saxophone:: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Brad: ...
Mr. E: Do you think that's what the audience wants to hear? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhh?!?!?!!! Yeah! I'm sure they don't want to hear ::sings melody:: They'd just rather hear a bunch of long notes!!! Come on! Let's let the trumpets be heard here!
~~~
John: I have a swizzel stick!
Jim: That's not a swizzel stick! It has a hole down the middle of it!
John: Did I say swizzel...I meant...uh...Svizzel!
~~~
Mr. Carducci: Are you his servant or something?
D: ::Carrying Euphonism:: No, the people here at Clarence are just really nice. But my services are not free. Hehe.
Mr. Carducci: ?!!!!!!! ::gives me a strage look::
John: Sorry, my band director is like that.
D: Oh, I didn't even mean it like that!
~~~
D: Is Vietnam one country or two?
Vitello: Two....::thinks:: ..yeah....two.
D: Sure?
Vitello: Yeah.
D: Is Vietnam one country or two?
Brian: ::thinks:: Vietnam is two countries...unless they merged while I wasn't looking!
(Thanks to my wonderful bandie friends, I accidentally told my global class that it WAS 2 countries in my report!)
~~~
Jon: You know what you kinda look like? A large mouth bass...
Brad: ?!?
Jon: Yeah, if you just opened your mouth and bugged out your eyes, you'd look like one!
Brad: Like this? ::Opens his eyes and mouth wide::
Jon: Yeah, exactly!
~~~
Clarinets: ::Playing mf::
Mr E.: Now come on clarinets! That's not a true p!...hmm...True p or not true p, that is the question...! ::laughs at own joke::
Band: ::groaning at bad joke::
~~~
D: ::Trying to teach Pat "The Flight of the Bumblebee"::
Pat: ::Plays some wrong notes::
D: Aruggghh!!! PLAY THE RIGHT NOTES!! ::almost hits him::
Pat: Come on! I'm supposed to be the best player!
(It's a 6th period kind of joke, you wouldn't get it!)
~~~
Mr. E: So the order for the jazz concert is..."...Girl", "Give me some...",
Saxophonists: ::pervertedly:: Girl, give me some! Hehehehehee!!
Mr. E: ::shakes head::
Katey: They're teenagers, they have selective hearing!
Mr. E: (to Mrs. Shafer) Geez, they don't hear you when you tell them to do something, but when you say something like that, they perk right up!
Mrs. Shafer: ::laughs::
~~~
Lily: Shawn, you need a haircut.
Shawn: No I don't! This is great! ::Pats head::
Mr. E: I know, he looks like a...
Shawn: What did you say Mr. E?
Mr. E: I said you look fabulous.
Front row: ::laughs::
...Later on in rehearsal...
Mr. E: Shawn, you look wonderful!
~~~
Mr. E: Start at letter V.
Vitello: ::walks by::
Trumpets: V!!!
Band: ::laughs::
...later on in rehearsal...
Mr. E: Start at letter R.
Shawn: Arrrrr!!!
Mr. E: Arr! Be careful, or my parrot will get you!
Band: RRRRrrrrr!!!!
Barb and D: ::laughing hysterically:: (see the dictionary for the definition of "R")
...later on in rehearsal...
Justin: T!
Barb: ::thinking in head:: No!
(hehe!)
~~~
Lauren, Ashley and D: ::Almost playing in tune::
Mr. E: Lower the 3rd!!!!!
D: ::lowers 3rd::
Mr. E: Aha!!! That's it!! Do you hear that buzz?!?
L, A and D: ::nod::
Mr. E: ::excitedly:: That's great!! Now you guys can all write this down and remember that this day you played a chord in tune and it was cool!
L, A and D: Riiiiight...
~~~
Patrick: ::acting dumb::
Julie: You're gay!
Katie: He's not gay, he's just a flag boy.
Patrick: ...
~~~
Patrick: Katie spilled applesauce on her pants!!
Julie: You gave him a lap dance without any pants?!?!!!
Katie and Patrick: NOOOOO!!!!!
~~~
Dr. Cod: Good morning, students!
Sheridan Hill Elem. students: ::in absolute unison:: Good morning Dr. Cod!
::After he finishes speaking....::
Mr. E: ::turns to the WE:: ::to the ensemble:: Are we ready to play, boys and girls?
WE: ::quietly:: Yes, Mr. Eicher! ::laughing::
~~~
Mr. E: ::to the SH students:: This will be a song that you'll want to dance with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you're older.
Students: ::in an uproar:: (Eww! Boys are yucky! Girls have germs!!)
Duncan: Nice going Mr. Eicher.
Mr. E: ::shrugs and smiles::
~~~
Mr. E: Watch these attacks...breathe together...Otherwise Elsa will trip!
Flute, English Horn, and Clarinet: ::not coming in together::
Mr. E: She tripped already! She didn't even take a step!
~~~
Mr. E: It's like....what is that stupid wooden rollercoaster at Darien Lake?
Band: Stupid?? It's the Predator!
Mr. E: Yeah, but it's like ::curls up:: "Hello knees!"
Band: ::laughs::
Mr. E: It's the craziest thing until they build the Superman...And then you think that is the wildest one...Then you go to Busch Gardens and ride (roller coaster name, i forgot), and then you go to this one and this one and this one, and each one gets more intense. This is what you should be feeling here in this song...every measure you just wanna resolve it, the tension is so great...
Band: ...
Mr. E: ...I like rollercoasters!
~~~
D: Didn't you say one time that you wanted to be the first octopus to climb the empire state building?
Katey: Um...no..?!
D: Yeah, and remember you thought you couldn't, but then I offered to spray you with a hose, because octopuses can't live out of water?
Katey: ...I couldn't do that anyways, because if I was an octopus, I wouldn't be here.
D: True, true.
~~~
Jimmy: Hey, I have that same necklace!!
Brian: Uh...no?
Jimmy: Yeah, I do!
Brian: The necklace or the charm?
Jimmy: Both...I found it in the parking lot at the middle school.
Brian: ...
D: Well, obviously it isn't the same necklace, b/c Abraham's wearing that one.
Jimmy: ...
Brian and D: ::mini celebration::
~~~
Brad: One time, I was....::blah blah blah:: (I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying)...and they trampled me!
D: Wait, what? Who?
Brad: I said I got trampled by this 250 pound guy.
D: Trampled?!
Brad: Yeah...they stepped right on me. I had a foot-shaped bruise on my chest afterwards.
D: (thinking) ::riiiiiight...::
~~~
Goods: What's a tenor horn??
D: It's a EUPHONIUM!
Jimmy: How do you know?
D: Uhh...I dunno ::thinking - I have a Euph-homie!::
Goods: Ehh, just put it by the "cornos".
D: The what?!?!
Jimmy: Look, it says "corno" for the part!
Goods: And wanna see our Fagettos?
D: Um...what instrument is that supposed to be?
Jimmy: Bassoon, I guess.
(LOL band campers who found this page! Fag!)
~~~
Brad: You know what pisses me off?...::thinking and shaking his finger::
D: ::thinking that he's pointing to my piccolo:: This pisses you off? It pisses me off too!
Brad: Well, yeah, that does piss me off. I'd like to ram that up Abraham's ass!! But that's not what I was gonna say!
~~~
Jon E: I'll have to get that picture before my parents do...
D: Why? Don't you want them to know that you were the band camp stud?!
Jon: They can't see that...
D: They'd be proud of you!
Jon: They can't know that I was a pimp.
D: LOL!
~~~
See quotes from last year!
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