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| June 28 2003: hey ppl...notice anything different? yep i took off all those horrible memories that i won't need to cry over anymore... im pretty depressed but im strong and i can make it through and i will and right now im not looking for a new relationship....i kinda wanna keal over and die but this is life and i can do this!....well later days.... *mua* |
| July 5 2003: yep so im having fun @ summer skool i hate most of the ppl there... im having fun @ work...im learnding new tings! yep lotsa fun ....today was really boring tomorrow will probably be too...i'm really tired and im too lazy to work this site so be patient .... i felt sick today anyway i'll end with that i'll talk to you later mua |
| October 2 2003: well the month of september went by fast and now, well just working at crappy farms, and getting shit pay and cha... i wuv my friends and stuff and a new old friend got back tome and im glad to hear from him ... Tyrone! yep me and brad are doing real good miss him tho and cha i just thought i should write soimething in this space since it has been a while... anyway i'll catch ya later.... *muah* |
| October 6 2003: Im at skool right now and im starving... someone accidently farted and everyone was suffocating from the smell..... im really hungry i really want to eat .... We're trying to convince alice to come to Screemers... i got my day off that day so im glad...but im not sure.... hmmm anyway i'll figure it out later... mua |
| October 21 2003: (almost time for our trip) another day and *sigh* off to a trip we go... claudia is bugging the hell outta me right now and laughing hyterically about it... ...*sigh* claudia says hi...*waves* grrr anyway ... im on a roll with dissing alice... claudia just farted and everyone is suffocating from the smell now... once again i was not invloved in it..... after our trip: claudia got attacked by two homeless men, and alice was stared at by another one.... the design trip itself was a total bore... interesting somewhat but holy christ that chick wouldnt shut up.... but yea erm i want a sock puppet!.... ok tootles! *muah* |
| October 24 2003: *sigh* Im sitting here all alone on alice's birfday... its her birfday party today and im not there because well i was stuck working... so i thought well that ok, cos yesterday i got news that tomorrow me and brad were gonna go horsey back riding... well gee wat happened... he calls me at work and says hey, im not gonna pick you up tonight and i was like aright thats ok and then he said... "and i have to work tomorrow...." i felt like crying i was looking forward tomorrow, and i went through the trouble to get half inch heels so my feet could reach the saddle.... now im pretty upset he does this so often and i feel like he's always gonna ditch me.... i feel like such a loser.... i wouldnt doubt that he's drinking. Now every time i look at a damn horse i will always remember.... horsies are empty promises! i got all my stupid hopes up... im never gonna believe him again.... i even bought him candy, i have the entire day off and no plans... oh oh oh... and his horoscope said: " you made plans make sure you show up" im so pissed! ttyl... *mua* |
| October 26 2004: yep another crap day and work.... im quitting for sure i can't stand it there anymore... im not really awaiting halloween i can feel the ditch-flora-disease coming for me from the old one we call brad... hey desntsurprise anyone does it? i hate everything... how come all my friends' bfs get them nice things and go out and make sure their plans are thought out... i cant rely on anybody! i hate stupid everythin..... im gonna live in my parent's house forver getting nagged, the rest of my life! buhumbug! and then stupid christmas is coming which i could care less for.... *sigh* shoot me now! *muah* |
| November 11 2003: 9:25am well the whole weekend was an interesting one...suck yes indeed...cept the day i exploded from eating a lot... that was great.... *sigh* im finally leaving my crap ass job.... too much bullshit oh well 21 i say bye bye to all... grrr.... tata *muah* 4:00 pm *sigh* so im crying in front of the computer thinking about the day's events and how horrible it was.... it was ok at first but then everyone just snapped at me at every moment... i was called a hooch, and told to eat my own math book...more like yelled at *erm* practise wat you preach then u turn the other cheek....where is the love the love the love?.... not anywhere near me that's where! everyone shoved it up their asses.... im so upset now.... then another girl was like "was i talking to you" i felt like crumbling in a little ball and crying cos i felt unwanted and no one wanted my help... then in food class everyone had their own epidemics.... 1 of them had cramps and the other had boy problems and i had general pms probs...but i left my problem at the door and I yes people I made the damn ugly quish all by my damn self...girl #2 would help sometimes but over all i did most of the cook and preparing alone.... yea i deserved this! i just called brad and when i tried to explain wat was the matter all i said was.... this girl told me... and i started crying...oh no here come the water works again.... wat are friends good for anyway? thanks everybody! *muah* |
| November 20 2003: yep you guessed it a brad entry!.... now knowing him he's prolly not gonna read this so it's aright for me to talk about it. well he told me how he found a place andhow great it is and that he's moving there in the spring!... my heart immediately sank to the pit of my stomach internally panicking....he said it was near barrie.... i thought about the horrible summer how he kept insisting we couldnt have a relationship because long distance one never work out! i cried a bit i thought i should writ out my feelings then i came here... maybe someone could understand me...maybe not...i really dont want to bring it up to him bout how im feeling.... i dunno i just...*sigh* i dont think it matters to him...an impulsive decison not caring bout what's gonna happen to us.... makes me feel useless to him, then he wonders why i tell him that he doesn't love me cos he says one thing and does another.... in other words, lies to me but innocently.... i think it's just time to let him go no use in sticking it out this long for nothing. *mua* |
| December 5 2003: Im sick, ive been sick a couple of days now but thats not wat im hear to talk about. im here to talk about my asshole of a boyfriend and how badly he treats me and that for two weeks now i've been crying pratically every night because he doesnt have the same caring feelings he used to so now is continuously treating and make sure im just a pile of stinking shit so i hope you're happy that you've succeeded! |
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