Written by Morty Storm
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "boy". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a licence for Sex. he said, "I'd like one too!" then I said, "But this is a dog." he said he didnt care what she looked like. then I said, "You dont understand. I've had Sex since i was 9 years old." he winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. he said, "You dont need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we dont care what you do." I said, "Look, you dont seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." the clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you dont understand," I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on tv." he said, "Now that cable is available, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog. I said, "your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isnt a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. he said, "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.
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Copyright 2001 by Nausicaa. All rights reserved.
