My Best Man
March 15, 2006
It has been over 2 years since Rich has passed, so I thought it would be appropriate to start a new story that is very meaningful to me�the story of my wedding day and Rich's part in it. The year was 1994 and at that time Rich and I were not as close as we had been in the past nor as we were in the future. At this moment, my closest friend was Eric (besides my wife-to-be, Amy, of course). Eric had also been a long-time friend from my neighborhood that I grew up with since about the age of 5-years old and we were spending just about every day together. I had a very tough decision to make. Who would be my best man? It would have been easier if I would have had brother to fall back on, but I didn't. Rich for most of my life was my best friend and the closest thing I had to a brother. But back in the early 90s, he was busy doing many band things and I was busy getting my professional life started. He had just got started playing with the Nixon Clocks and was also playing with the Affordable Floors from time to time. Not to mention this was when he first started dating Deni. We weren't really hanging out too much at this time. I thought long and hard about this choice, but in the end it came down to family and what it meant to me to have Rich as my cousin and my life-long friend. In hindsight, it was Rich that was there from the beginning and continued to be there until the end, so I made the right decision.
I remember Rich being somewhat apprehensive about my proposition because he knew that is was a bit of a responsibility, but I didn't want him to feel this way. I got the sense that he wanted to do all the right things, but didn't feel up to the challenge. I repetitively tried to reassure him that he didn't have to do much other than show up. Rich was my best man because he was my best friend and that was all he needed to do to play the part. He didn't need to throw a huge bachelor party�Eric and Tim were good for that and I knew they would take those details and run with them. He didn't need to do much but be there for me.
As far as the wedding, I wasn't nervous or anxious about my future bride or my life with her, but it was nice to have some one to talk to in the "back stage" area of the church. The photographer came for a quick visit to capture the moment before moving on to the real stars of the day, Amy and the bride's maids. There was one shot that I recall�him standing behind me with his hand on my shoulders. It was a bit of a role reversal because I was always the "big brother" to him and here he was supporting me on my most important day. It was nice and felt right.
During the ceremony, we both were moving around aimlessly. It seems that during their lifetime or as a small child, most women get a short course in weddings�what to do, how to do it, and where to go. Men are left watching the choreography dumbfounded with our mouths wide open. This was definitely the case here�I was at the rehearsal and even paid attention because I didn't want to make an ass of myself, but that didn't help much. Luckily, there is not much to do during a Catholic wedding service that is different than any other service. During the communion when all eyes weren't on us, Rich and I took a moment to talk when I looked over at him to find out how he was doing. Quietly, he smiled and nodded, said he was fine, and I knew all was good.
Once we were all married-up, it was time for a few pictures, a short trip in the limo, and on to the reception for some real drinking and celebrating. During our travels, we did partake in a few spirits�mainly champagne. The bubbly got to Rich's head and created a magical toast. Before we entered the reception area, he pulled me aside and said, "I didn't prepare anything for the toast." And I said, "That�s alright, you'll make due, you're a funny guy." And it was true, that was how I felt about Rich. The toast was anything but "short and sweet". But it was completely from the heart and that meant the world to me. Rich started the show off with a rousing version of a couple bars of "Come Fly with Me" as an Ise-breaker (see below for spelling reasoning). He then talked about the thing that at this time in his life meant the most to him, music. He told the room that I was the reason he was playing music for basically his living at the moment and had a story to go with this proclamation. The story started off when we were kids and he had his Goofy shirt. No, his shirt wasn't goofy looking; it had the Disney character Goofy with 3-D eyes that moved as he moved. I used to push on Rich to make his eyes move and then get in trouble for pushing him�he apparently found that amusing as a child. This wasn't much about music and people started to wonder where the story was going. Then the story moved to our teenage years when we decided it would be fun to be rock stars. This is when he and his mom purchased his first keyboard. She asked him, "Is this your best day ever?" And much to my aunt's chagrin after forking out loads of money for his keyboard for our band "Ise" he answered, "No." When she inquired as to his reasoning, he said that his favorite day of all would be "�something that I did with Danny." At that point, his extensive story came together and made sense. It was true for me too. It wasn't just the statement that made sense, it was the fact that he couldn't pin down just one instance that we spent together as his favorite, "best day". I think back to our wedding date and there are many stories with Rich that would have won the prize prior to that day. Any one of these stories that you find here or that have yet to be written could have been "the one". I think the point to Rich's story was that there were so many noteworthy stories to tell about our friendship, that he couldn't pick just one to tell for this significant moment. I don't think any of my other friends could have captured the reality of this so accurately.
The rest of the night I caught up with Rich only to find him more inebriated and happier each time just like the rest of the fun-filled guests. Dancing and talking to the camera. Rich was having fun with the rest of the family and friends at our wedding. I can still picture him in his tux, wearing it like a soldier wears his dress "whites". He was probably the last one to have it mostly intact at the end of the night and I know it wasn't because it was comfortable. I think it was because he was content to be the best man and this uniform showed his pride. During his toast, Rich also went on to say that he was there for Amy and my first date at Kennywood and he will be there for many more to come. This tribute was very meaningful to both Amy and I. There were many more times for us and Rich, just not enough. Isn't that always the case no matter how long you are on this Earth. At least we had many times like this night to remember forever. |
