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Chapter 5. How Southern. Mildred- Gee gosh Mutt- Mutt, I wonder if anybody is here? Mutt-Mutt- (IT�S A STUFFED ANIMAL, DO YOU EXPECT IT TO TALK?!) Mildred- I dooooo agree Mutt- Mutt Mildred knocks on Caroline�s door. KNOCK. KNOCK. Caroline- Oh no. It better not be Dream- She opens the door. Caroline- MILDRED! NO! Mildred- Howdy y�all! Caroline- It�s just me here. No �y�all�. I�M JUST ONE PERSON. Mildred- y�all y�all y�all Caroline- SOUTHERN-NESS! NO! 5 hours later. Caroline and Brynn are sitting on the floor of Caroline�s room while Mildred models a cowboy hat with �slacks� as she calls them� She starts pretending to ride a horse. Brynn- THERE�S NO HORSE. Mildred- what�d you say, y�all? Brynn- (muttering) Even Jesse McCartney is SLIGHTLY brighter than you� Mildred screams, throws her hat in the air and shouts, �WAHOO!� Mildred- WAHOO! DID YOU SAY JESSE MCCARTNEY? AS IN, JESSE A. MCCARTNEY OF� DARE I BE SAYIN IT Y�ALL? DREAM STREET??! Brynn- possibly. Fish. Caroline- Um� yeah? Mildred- OH MY GOSH WITH A MARGARINE SLIPPER! CAN I MEET THEM? Caroline and Brynn grin evilly. Brynn- sure. Caroline- of course. Mildred- YIPPEE YAI YO CAYAY! Brynn- Look at that southern girl. Caroline- She�s so� southern. Brynn- Fish. Caroline- no, she�s southern. Brynn- FISH. Caroline- she�s not a fish. I mean, I know she�s not bright in the least, but she�s not a fish. Brynn- Narf? Caroline- OH! Yeah� she IS annoying. Mildred- what�d y�all say? Caroline- Matt Ballinger loves you� right Brynn? Brynn- fish. Caroline- do you want to meet him? Mildred- WHEN WHEN WHEN? Brynn- tomorrow. Caroline- sounds good. Mildred- Y�all, can you drive me to a good mud hole? Caroline- a what? Brynn- mud hole. As in, a hole filled with mud. Caroline- I know what it means. I meant, why does she WANT to go? Mildred- for my bath y�all. Duh. Brynn- you take baths in mud holes. That would explain a lot. Caroline- Mildred� Mildred- Yes�m? Caroline- Did anyone drop you on your head when you were a baby? Mildred- Don�t everybody�s maw and paw drop em? Brynn- No comment necessary here. Caroline- Yeah. Mildred- Mutt-Mutt says hi! Mutt-Mutt- (SILENT. DUH.) Caroline and Brynn- Hi�? Mildred- Well y�all, since its getting so late� Caroline- it�s 6 o clock PM. Mildred- well, us down in the south go to bed nice and early. Yea-huh. Brynn- we�re in the north now. Not south. North. Mildred- south? Brynn- north. Mildred- okey dokey! Anyhoo, as I was sayin to y�all, since its getting so late and all, let�s start our sleepover and trade some gossip! Caroline- I don�t know what they feed you in the South. Brynn- maybe mud. Caroline- quite possibly. Mildred- huh? Caroline- nevermind Mildred. Why don�t you go to sleep and then you can dream about Matt. Mildred- zzzzzzzzzzzz Caroline- she fell asleep on my cat. Caroline�s cat- mrrrrrrrrrrwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeooooooowwww Mildred starts snoring and then turns over and caroline�s cat claws her. Mildred smiles and snores again. Caroline- Can we give her to Dream Street as a present? Brynn- she won�t fit in the box. Caroline- we could try. Brynn- ok. After many failed attempts to stuff Mildred into a present box, Caroline and Brynn fall asleep.
Chapter 6
