Poem Page Four
These next few poems are going to be very dark. You have been warned.
These peoms were written between 9-18-02 and 11-4-02
Darkness
Darkness surrounds you
Consuming you
No light can penatrate this darkness,
No sound can be heard

You can see nothing
Your senses are gone
Your alone in your mind
With the darkness you have
Trapped there.

Numb to the pain
No longer a person
Confused and lost
You travel the dark roads.
Slowly senses return
Feeling first
A sharp pain followed by a cold wind
Increacing the pain

Next comes hearing
All you hear is the wind
Nothing else

The pain of your mind grows worse
How you stand this pain I cannot tell

Taste comes next
The air is crisp and scarce
It's getting hard to breath
The pain grows worse
With this you fall to the ground
The pain affects your ballance

Your sight comes back
But makes no difference
The darkness has you now
The pain grows worse

Gaspin for air you feel your lungs
Collapse
You know this is the end
You are going to die.

You succomb to the pain
The darkness grabs you
You have no feeling but the cold
Your brain erupts with pain
Slowly the pain leaves your body
Taking you with it.
You're dead and have a choice
Stay with the darkness
Or go to the light.
Pain II
Time moves so slowly
Life goes out with the wind
Like a candle light blown
Life is gone.

The last struggling breath
Will it be slow
Will it be fast?
Is there pain?

Of course there's pain
There's always pain
Will the pain be gone?
If I die?

Will the pain inmy body leave
The voices in my head
Are driving me insane
So loud they are
Will they stop if I die?
I need the pain to go
Leave me
I don't know how

Will death solve the pain
Will the voices leave?
Blood. Red Blood.
Flows down the wall
It's all over
Thepain is gone
Never will it bother me again.

The light grows dim
Breathing is now
A laborous task.

Darkness blocks my vision
Breathing is near impossible
This isn't
The end

Drowning my last breath
I fall unconcious to the ground
All is quiet, There is no sound
The voices are gone

I feel nothing
The pain is gone
The end has come at last.
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You Say, You Think
You critizie me everytime
I play
You tell me I can do better
I do my best

You say Distrcit tryouts
I cringe back
You say you know me
Then you would know my pain

You say I should sound like you
That is one thing I refuse to do.
You who catigorize me as average
I am an individual

You're trying to pressure me
Into districts
You don't know how much pain
That word causes

Ever year for four years
I've been harrased to get that piece
This has caused me to despise it

My middle school band teacher
Didn't think I was good enough
For Wind Ensamble
Nor good enough for county band

I asked her everyday
She denied me
In high school band I use to play Alto
Now I play second clarinet

How do you expect me to place
Even third for Districts?
I want to scream "NO!"
But, you won't hear me

How many dissappointments
Should I take?
Everytime I've gone for something
In band

I get shot down

Can't you see the pain it causes
To even for a moment
Think that that pain
Could strike again.

I can take a lot
But I ask you
Is districts worth
My pain, my tears, my frustration?

Is it?
Is it really worth another heartbreak?

I don't think so
You're blind to my pain here
That's plain to see

But, maybe you should try
To do everything I do
And put up with everything I put up with

Could you handle it as well?
I don't think so.
Crying
Crying in pain
Crying in joy
Crying in sorrow
Crying in shame
Crying inside
Crying in the face of death

We all cry
Though some don't show
Why they cry

We all cry for
We all are humans
We always have emotions
Rain Drops of Blood
The rain drops hit
The window

Silently at first
Slowly the beat gets louder
Soon it will become a full
True rainstorm

I look out the window
Thinking to myself
Thinking of the pain
I've come to know

Looking down I see
The knife in my lap
It's blade is sharp and long

The icy cold steel
Would easily cut my flesh

Questioning what I should do
The rain turns to blood
Astonished to see the windown turn red
The knife slips from my hand

It cuts my leg from knee to anckle
Digging into my foot
Looking down I see
My blood stain the carpet

A sering pain rakes my body
It's not coming from my leg
I look at my arms
They're cut as well

From my shoulders
To my finger tips in a crisscross fasion
It looks as if I had
Run into a fence of razor wire

All becomes black around me
I feel dizzy and fall to the ground
I am spinning so fast in my head
Yet my body doesn't move

My breathing is raspy
Slow to stop
I can feel my soul leaving my body

It is still raining blood
Double Sighted
You keep complaining
Keep irritating

I try to block you
Out of my head
Sometimes I wish
You were dead

Stay away from
My friends
No one wants you aroud!
Are you that dense
You cannot see?

That your complaining
Has given you many enimies
Can we at least
Change the subject?

I have my own
Problems to handle

I allow people
To vent on me all the time
Guess what
I need to vent too

Stop coming to me
With all your problems
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