new york, new york

chapter 9

-What is really your problem? Howie was angry, not with me but anyway.
-I don�t have any problem! I just want to know why I didn�t come to your place to stay, why it had to be AJ?
-Why? You didn�t like it there?
-Well... It was OK. Not that bad.
-Then why?
-I just wanna know.
I was following Howie around the house when he was looking for something. Then he suddenly stopped and I hit my knee to a chair.
-Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes it�s better not to know?
-You make this sound like some soap-opera.
-Whatever.
-OK. So Bri didn�t remember, you don�t... I have another question.
-What?!?
Howie started to walk again.
-I don�t understand how you had the courage to look after me. I could have been any kind of maniac girl.
-That wasn�t my idea.
-Who�s then?
-Brian�s and Kevin�s. They wanted to play good Samaritans.
-So you would have just left me there?
-Let me think.
I kept following him
. -Come on, yes or no!
-It�s not that simple.
-It never is. --- Funny, that�s what AJ said first time he heard where I was from and when I said that I can�t go home.
-You can�t?
-I could. I just don�t want to. But you didn�t answer my question.
-Probably I would have checked out your situation and maybe give you some money and book for you a hotel room with a full room service for few days.
-So you couldn�t have just walk away?
-I don�t think so. Anyway, it was you.
-And what�s that suppose to mean?
I was really losing it with these guys. Like they couldn�t just say things straight at me.
-I can�t explain it. Dammed, I can�t find anything from here!
-Sure you can. Just try. I can understand pretty odd stuff.
-OK. To be honest, you are not the most beautiful person, not that attractive by your look. But there�s something inside of you. Sometimes you use it but most of the time you don�t, it just is there.
-And I have a promising smile?
-Why do you ask that? But when I think about it, you do.
-But not killer eyes?
-You do give those...
-Looks! I added. -I give up with you.
-Whatever. Are you sure you haven�t seen it?
-Seen what? I don�t even know what you�re looking for.

Next stop: Kevin. I thought he might be so smart and sensible person that he would actually remember what had happened, and tell me too. AJ hadn�t replied to my last message and I though that maybe he didn�t need love like I did.
-Mum... Let�s see.
I didn�t mind to wait that time because Kevin had made us some coffee and brought me a piece of chocolate cake Kristin had baked.
-I remember how we tried to decide what to do with you. Howie wasn�t that eager to take you with us, Nick as usual couldn�t care less, Brian... He thought about Leighanne. And me... Well, I didn�t want to let you out to this world with nothing to fight with.
I almost choked to my cake.
-Oh Lord! Could someone sometimes speak like a normal person. I�m sick of these metaphors!
-Why does it mean so much to you?
I had stop to think.
-I don�t know. Somehow it does. There is so much controversy between me and you, my world and your reality, everything between us. Actually the whole universe screams into my ears that I shouldn�t be in this situation.
-Have you thought that maybe it really has nothing to do with us? That these are things you just have to deal with by yourself.
-But I just want to understand!
-Understand what?
-Why me? Why of all people I can travel around the country and end up here, sitting in the car with the driver taking me from the one huge house to another to visit every Backstreet Boy one at the time?
-But... Have you then again thought that it could have been anyone? That no matter what kind of person you are we could have taken you with us anyway? Maybe if it wasn�t you, that person would be going on, you just have stayed.
-Is this a polite way to say that I should move on?
-No, that�s not my point. I�m just trying to say that maybe this all has something to do with destiny. Or nothing at all.
-You�re killing me!
My head couldn�t take any more ideas.
-So you�re saying that I�m not...
-No. You�re an extraordinary woman. But does that really have something to do with all this?
I wanted to throw my coffee at Kevin. He probably guessed what I thought.
-I can�t answer your question. All I can say that this screaming universe has a plan for you.

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I'm way too curious. Tell me what you think.

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