new york, new york

chapter 80

My days were boring. Boring is actually too mild expression for what I went trough. Yes, Oliver and Charlene stopped by almost every day and Jacob whenever he could. But they were there only for few hours. What did I do with rest?
I tried to ask pen and paper but was denied. Like writing would ever get me exited. Instead they gave me remote control.
I wasn't that much aware of conditions in hospital so I didn't even stop to think why I was alone in that room and did have TV there. Nurses were nice, doctors busy but smelled good and had warm hands. Food wasn't that good but occasionally I convinced Jacob to bring me something I wasn't supposed to eat. He always reminded me of my baby but when is the last time someone died over a chocolate bar? Sometimes in the middle of The young and the restless I would have. It was so dreadful.
After nine days I was allowed to make short trips to the hall. That was heaven! I was on maternity ward and all I could see was pregnant women and small babies. Walking ten meters made me dizzy but I didn't want to give up. So I walked back to my room. It only took about twelve minutes. Day after that Oliver got sick of my continuos whining and brought me lap top. I wrote, played solitaire, all the stupid little things. I had only two hours in a day but once I got on track with writing rest of the day went on thinking what should happen next in my story. I was very productive for those three more days of privacy.

I had been in hospital almost two weeks when I got a room mate. My doctor came to me and told that I was in such a good condition they would place another patient with me.
-I think you'll enjoy her company, doctor said. -She's here for the fourth time so she's not gonna panic over some small thing. It's only few weeks until her due but we're taking her in because of high blood pressure.
I just nodded, amazed that they would so easily take my privacy away. What would happen to my midmorning naps? She would definetely see all the shows at that hour and I would have to listen TV all day trough.

It wasn't that bad. Not until evening came. We had introduced each other, her name was Elizabeth Carson, she was 35 and yes, having her fourth child. With first one she had shared some of my symptoms so she felt really sorry for me and wasn't annoying me at all.
Charlene had stopped by, bringing me new books to read and package from my parents. My mom had sewed tiny little socks. She probably didn't get that baby would be born in the middle of hottest summer.
-But kids get cold easily, Charlene reminded me. -And after all, until his feet is big enough for those, it's gonna be at least October.
I laughed and that's when door opened. Elizabeth had given us some time to talk by going to meet his husband in the lobby. But she didn't mention anything about her other kids.
Don't get me wrong, I love kids. Kids like Midge and Maggie. Not like Elizabeth's. Two of those were all right, kind of weird though, shuttered but in a different way than Midge. They looked almost hostile. But the third. Mother's little sunshine. Kurt.

Seriously, don't get me wrong. I love kids, but mostly my own. No, that's not the thing. Even if it is. That mothers always think that their kids are perfect. Though Elizabeth didn't. I found that out later when they were gone already. When it was peace back on earth.
Kurt was most over active child I've ever seen in my life. First thing he did was jumping on my bed, staring at me, then pinching my nose and asking if I was a whale or a woman because I looked so huge. Me? His mother was due just few weeks as I had months to go. I tried not to but I hated him since.
Elizabeth's husband looked tired and I don't wonder why. It seemed that Elizabeth was the only one having some kind of control over Kurt. And when you're last month pregnant, you don't have that kind of energy to fight with 8 years old nuisance.
They stayed there only 43 minutes, I know since I counted each one of those. But when Charlene came back next day and asked if I had made up my mind about moving to her place I didn't have to think twice.
Doctor discharged me with millions of directions ("Don't be up more than 15 minutes at once or over 3 hours a day, don't go out for a walk, drink enough water, follow this diet, take these pills, try not to get upset over anything, just lay back and take it easy"). Nurse would stop by every other day checking me out and Charlene promised that she would take good care of me. I also got one of those emergency bracelets, with a little button to push if I'd get into trouble when Charlene was at work.
-First it will contact to Charlene, then Oliver and then straight to hospital so that some one can come over to see if there's something wrong, doctor explained.
-But you don't have a cell phone, I said to Charlene.
-I thought it was time for me to get one, she smiled and I almost got tears in my eyes. She was just a sweetheart. Why did I got blessed with so much?

I arrived back at Sand's with taxi. Doctors would have rather sent me with ambulance, just in case (just in case of what, I would freak about going out?) but Jacob insisted keeping low profile. I felt as I did at the very first time; like I was stepping into something new, not knowing what the future would hold.

And if in any other time it held more than you expected, this time it didn't. Only good thing was not having to stay at the hospital but mostly my days were similar. First I did all the forbidden things when Charlene was at work but nurse soon got me because of my rising blood pressure. Charlene started to come home every lunch hour and arranged her shifts so that someone could spend most time with me. So she was there with me in the mornings, went to work, then if it was every other day nurse came, if it wasn't I had few hours of privacy until Oliver just happened to stop by and stayed until Charlene came from work.

-How's Michelle? I asked from him one night Charlene was out with her friends and Oliver had been recruited to keep me company all night. He brought with him one of those stupid, good-hearted romantic comedies I loved so much.
-Fine, Oliver said and stuffed more popcorn into his mouth. Popcorn was of course very low fat and unsalty, that's why I didn't even care to eat it. I wasn't happy with one liner he gave to me either.
-Does she know why you come here?
-To visit my mother.
-So she doesn't know about me?
-Should she? Ain't you the huge secret we're sharing? That's the feeling I get every time your gay journalist friends pops in.
Oliver didn't fancy Jacob. I didn't really understand why because they were similar in many ways. That could've been the problem. And yes, Oliver still got jealous over me sometimes. That's why I wanted to know about Michelle.
-What if she'd find out about me? Don't you think she'd get mad because you lied to her?
-I don't lie to her. I just don't mention you.
Men. They don't lie. They just leave things unmentioned. I sighed and tried to focus back on the movie. I knew I would have to bring Michelle up again, I just didn't have any solution. Of course I could convince Charlene that I was willing to take care of myself and that it really wasn't necessary Oliver to come over every day.
Though most times it was lovely. He used to pick some guarantined healthy food on his way (I'm sure he ate cheeseburgers on his way and brought me those sallads and beans), we ate, watched TV (I was becoming soap opera addicted, it's possible to watch three of those at the same time if you have a decent remote control and quick fingers) and talked about daily matters. Because of having so much time and so little to do I had started to ask from Oliver about his work and studies. It wasn't that interesting in the beginning, as much as thing you've never even heard of could be, but when I started to get into it, our conversations got more intensive. More intensive they got even when we were together.
That's what scared me. I felt like he was such a good friend but us working around in that apartment like a husband and a pregnant wife was little beyond.
When that letter came I thought it was time to invite Jacob over and keep a little distance with Oliver. It was also time to check from Jacob what was going on with Boys. I had heard some alarming news from Portugal when they were shooting their new video. It sure looked good though when I saw it first time I was sure I was about to die. My son started to go around in me like a crazy but I couldn't turn away from that channel. It felt so good to hear AJ singing that melody, hearing his rusty voice filled with empathy.
Helen was past, I figured that much out because she wasn't mentioned anywhere anymore. He had also taken his engagement ring off but I didn't know reasons for that. All I could wonder if somewhere out there was another mother carrying his child and he didn't even care about it. Oliver was little annoyed when I told him to stay away for few days, but then he seemed reliefed when I told him to take Michelle out and really spoil her. I guess our little game had become too much for him too. After all we all need our independency.

Next Chapter

I'm way too curious. Tell me what you think.

Menu