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chapter 79

Jacob still sat there and thought about it when Oliver came in.
-Didn't I tell you to go home?
Oliver looked at Jacob. �I thought you'd be over with this already.
-OK, I sighed. �This is Oliver Sand. Oliver, this is Jacob.
He stood up and they shook hands.
-He's� Jacob. You've heard of him, right?
-Sure. Nice to finally meet you.
-You too, Jacob said.
-I'm sorry Oliver, but we're in the middle of something.
Jacob had sat back down and looked out of the window.
-I would take you to my place but�
-That's not an option, I said, trying to make him shut up.
-What are you talking about? Oliver asked. �I thought�
-They're not gonna hold me here forever, I said. �I have to find a place to go to.
-You can come to stay with us, Oliver said like it was more than obvious.
-Are you nuts? In this condition� You can't take care of me all the time. Charlene can't do that. I couldn't ever ask you to do it. And then there's�
-We always get back to him, don't we? Oliver asked. �So what's the problem? I got my own place few weeks ago. I couldn't live with mom anymore. I'm grownup man.
-Sometimes I doubt that, I chuckled.
-Anna, don't be rude. We have to find a solution to this dilemma, Jacob reminded. �There's much on line right now.
Oliver sat on my bed and looked me into the eyes.
-We'll take as good care of you as we can, you can count on that.
-You think your mother is gonna understand? That your pregnant ex-girlfriend comes to live with her even if her son isn't the father. And I don't� I'm not ready to tell her.
-You have to understand how serious this is, Jacob said. �No one must see Anna. No one must know that she's still here. If there's even a hint of her presence or pregnancy� We don't know what's going to come out of that.
-You're not gonna tell him? Oliver asked.
-No! I told you that already. I don't want him to know. God. If things were right, I'd be home with my own parents and have nothing to worry.
-Actually there is, Oliver said. �Charlene told me something your mom said. That some man had been there asking you. Some foreign, tattooed man, raging that you weren't there.
-AJ. Shit.
-It's better you don't mention his name here, Jacob said.
-What? Like there would be only one AJ in this whole wide world? I asked.
-No. But there's only one AJ that's father of your child. Only one AJ you dated a while ago.
-This isn't getting us anywhere.
Nurse came in.
-I'm sorry but visitor hours are over. I'm asking you to leave now. This lady must get her rest.
Slowly both men stood up.
-I'll come by in the morning, Oliver said.
-Don't you ever have to work?
-You mean more.
-Please, Oliver. Go to work. Come in the afternoon. It's not like I'm dying or anything.
-OK. Mom has later shift, I'll ask her to stop by.
-Sure, whatever.
Oliver gave a kiss on my forehead.
-Sleep well, gorgeous. I'll see you tomorrow.
Oliver left, which kind of surprised me since Jacob was still in the room. I turned to see him.
-I hate to say this but it seems best we can do right now, he said.
-Jacob, no. It's already so twisted.
-He's not in love with you anymore. It may hurt to hear that but it's a fact. He wants to help you as a friend. And those you don't have too many right now.
I didn't say anything. Jacob kissed me as well.
-Call me when you know something, he said and left. Nurse turned lights down and I was left alone in the dark.

Jacob was right, I knew that. There weren't many I could trust. But I kept wondering how Charlene would understand it all. I didn't want to tell her. It was easier that way. To all of us. She already knew that his son couldn't be father of my child, for obvious reasons. But that she would open doors of her home to me once again� I doubted that.

She did open at least one door; to my room in the morning.
-Hey, sunshine, she said and came to hug me.
-Hey. So you came.
-Yes, Oliver told me to. Kind of. I wanted to come yesterday also but I thought you needed some time for yourself.
-Like I'd have some, I sighed. �Oliver keeps watching over me so closely I feel like I'm going to choke.
Charlene laughed. �That's my son.
I smiled to her. �Yeah, that's your son. He's lovely, don't get me wrong. So, how did my mother take it?
-It was very unwise not to tell her. Have you spoken with her?
-Yesterday. She wanted to come here but I denied.
Charlene nodded. �That's another thing. Oliver came to see me last night. You know he lives in a small studio downtown now?
-He told me something, yeah.
-He still comes to see her old poor mother, Charlene said. �He brought something to my concern. You really don't have a place to go.
It wasn't a question so I didn't answer. Charlene looked out of the window.
-It's a big city. And you're all alone.
-No, I said. �I'll never be alone. Not anymore.
-Not if you take care of him. So it's a boy?
Wide smile spread over my face. �My baby boy.
-I called to my friend this morning. A doctor one.
-Charlene, please�
-He said, not of course knowing all the facts that they're going to discharge you in two weeks or so, if everything goes fine. What are you going to do then?
-I don't know. But still, I couldn't.
-Yes you can.
Charlene turned to see me and I saw scary confidence on her face.
-You can come to live with me. You'll be able to take care of yourself while I'm at work. It's not I'm going to watch you 24 hours a day. But you need someone to be there. Just in case.
-Just in case something would happen, right? But there's so much more to this, Charlene, and I can't tell you. I want to but I can't. It's too much for both of us right now. And god, I'm your son's ex-girlfriend. How is it going to work out?
-Just fine, if you want to, she said. �You don't need to tell me. I don't know every detail of your life. I don't know everything about my sons either. Not why you really broke up. There's a lot I don't know about Peter, you know, while he's touring and everything. And I don't want to know. I don't need to know. It's not because I don't love them, it's because I trust them. I raised them well enough to be decent. Sure, I didn't raise you but I know you well enough to trust you too.
-Why is everyone being so nice to me?
-Let's see, Charlene laughed. �You're six month pregnant, tied in your bed, completely out of power� How could anyone be mean to you?
-I don't know. But for change it would be nice. Like I said to Oliver, it's not like I'm dying or anything.
Charlene got serious. �But it wasn't far.
-What? I asked with terror in my voice.
-If you had gone to that plane, either or both of you would be dead by now.
I tried to melt down what I just heard.
-So let us take care of you, ok? We're not ready to lose you.
-But you would have anyway. I would be in Finland by now. If everything would have worked out right.
-It's different to know that you're on other continent than that you're six feet under.
Charlene's voice was sincere and I had to blink really hard not to cry once again. She came to me and pet my hair.
-I know it doesn't always seem fare but there's reason for everything.

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