new york, new york

chapter 71

Jacob came to sit and leaned towards me seeking for confidentiality.
-So you believe that Helen is pregnant. Where did you get that information?
-Where do you think?
-You said that you�re single again. And you needed a place to stay. So what happened with you and AJ? Or that other guy?
-Oliver.
-Yeah. Last time we met you were still with him.
-I know. After last time we met I broke up with him. Right after that.
-I�m sorry.
-Well, it wasn�t the hardest part. But now I really need to trust you, I demanded from Jacob. -All that concerns me should be irrelevant to you. It will perhaps make you understand situation between AJ and Helen better but you can�t use my name or any parts of this story. Deal?
-Deal.
-Good. After that Howie invited me to Tuscaloosa with them.
-Where?
-Tuscaloosa. Don�t get caught in minor details. So I went there with them.
-Who them?
-Me, Howie, Alicia, Nick, Brian and Leighanne.
-No AJ?
-Just focus on listening would you?
Jacob leaned back, like being startled because of my words.
-So, I went there. But then AJ showed up. First I was furious but then I tought I would have to learn to deal with him. That�s why I just didn�t leave from there. Another reason was that my flights had been booked already, my parents were waiting me on an exact day and I had left keys to AJ�s place to his table and so I had nowhere else to stay. I know I�m explaining. I did that a lot in there.
I discontinued but Jacob had learned his lesson and didn�t ask anymore stupid questions. After I while I was ready to go on.
-So what was expected happened. We fell for each other. And this time it was big. He asked me to marry him and I said yes.
I didn�t want to stop to think about that so I quickly carried on.
-We were happy for few days until Helen called and told that she�s pregnant. I knew what AJ would do but even so I said to him that if he�d go, he�d never see me again. He left. We said goodbye for the first and for the last time. That�s how I know about Helen being pregnant.
After I finished we sat a long time in silence. Jacob seemed very thoughful and I was trying to hold back the tears that memories brought to my eyes. It was just a month ago when I - me not Helen - was supposed to come Ms. McLean.
-I have to tell this to Matthew.
-Well, by his reputation he probably knows it all already.
-Or then not. Because this would have been headline news instantly. Can you imagine: �Ex-girlfriend�s pregnancy blows off the new happiness of AJ McLean�.
-You know it�s not like that.
-I do. But who cares? Who ever cares?
-You seem to.
-Well, I�m an old and foolish in my heart.

We had pretty much said it all so after promising to keep in close touch I was ready to leave. Jacob escorted me to the hall where I rigged myself out for the sudden winterstorm developed outside.
-One more thing, I said behind my thick scarf.
-Yes, Jacob said before I had time to ask anything.
-Good, I smirked. -For a while I was worried.
Jacob laughed, escorted me out. And as the door closed behind me, I sighed for relief. What ever Jacob�s reasons for protecting me were, at least he wasn�t in love with me.

I would have gone to meet Avi and Ben if it wasn�t New Year and the storm. Instead I went to a grocery store, got some food for me and took train back to home. Well, another place for me to call home.

Tina had stopped by while I was gone. There was a little telly on the desk and a note on top of it.
�There�s mask for you on the bed. I thought you�d need it when painting. Take all the time you need to settle down. But don�t hesitate to drop by if needing anything. Happy New Year!!!�

I smiled at Tina�s note. It was made in hurry and covered with something brown I hoped to be peanut butter. I put TV on and searched MTV. Rest would follow. I lifted the mask to the bathroom, ready for next morning when I would start my new career as a painter and decorator.

Week later I was like at home again. Situation with Tina and kids had stabled after some agreements. Like that kids wouldn�t come to my place with keys that Tina had, and was supposed to keep in closet but always left on the table. And that if possible we would call first. Tina actually went and bought inner phones for us. Which was handy, because I could just unplug it if I wanted to be alone but didn�t have to be afraid of missing calls from friends or work.

I had been home with girls one night when Tina wanted to go out. Maggie watched cartoons and Midge me. She was funny because she didn�t speak. It felt very difficult to get trough to her, because her reactions were so little. But I guess she liked me because when I put her to bed she gave me a kiss.

My toilet was half red as the paint ended in the middle but I liked it so I let it be. I had bought some new dishes, just few of everything, like two mugs. It was cheaper and more practical since I had to wash them every other day and that way my place looked decent at least in one point. Because after three days all the free space of the floor was covered with clothes and papers. That was my time of organization. It didn�t work very well, because they were still there. Little piled but all around any way.

I had been working like a dog. I don�t know why, but after some time in NY the ideas just kept coming to me. I wasn�t yet sure what my next book would really be about. Right at the time I was writing about a girl who�d fell in love with her teacher. Something very different from my life. I enjoyed the inspiration as long as I could because within two days I would have to start to really work for the paper.

I didn�t like reading news. Because everywhere I came across with pictures of AJ and Helen smiling together. Rumors of pregnancy hadn�t been confirmed yet, but I knew it was just matter of weeks. I didn�t even want to think what Jacob offered for Matthew for keeping me out of the picture. But I intended to keep it that way. My story with Backstreet Boys was over.

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