new york, new york

chapter 60

I was soaking wet when I went in next time. It really was a sauna. Small, smoky sauna. But still working. I knew that because I had tried.
-Thirty minutes, I announced.
-And then what? Nick asked. �You go out and find us a pool and tennis field?
-Until the sauna is ready.
-What? You didn�t...
-I didn�t do what? I asked from Brian. �Don�t forget where I�m from. Yes, I put it on fire and soon this house will be burning too. Is that what you�re worried about?
-No. I�ll trust you.
-You should. Anyone cares to join me?
They didn�t even bother to answer. I guess it would have been too much to them.

But half an hour later I was sitting there. Alone. It was actually very romantic, because there was no electricity in that small house. Even water had to be warmed up with fire. I felt like home and really homesick at the same time. I leaned to the wall and lifted my leg up. I had just closed my eyes when I heard the door. AJ was standing there and staring at me. Then he went out.
-Do you want a towel? he asked behind the door.
-What? I thought you have seen it all already. And it�s usual to be naked in sauna.
He didn�t answer.
-OK, bring me one.
He threw it in and waited few seconds until he dared to come in.
-I thought nobody wanted to bathe with me, I said wrapping the towel around me.
-I changed my mind.
I didn�t even want to ask why. AJ sat down as far away from me as he could.
-Well, it amazes me that you even wanted to spend one of your precious weeks in a place like this. No nintendo, no PC, no internet, not even a phone...
-It�s nice just to hang together. Be out and wander in nature. I thought you knew that.
-I did.
-Do you miss Finland?
-Right now, more than you know.
-At least you have somewhere to long to. I�m just lost and don�t know where to go.
-It�s really not that. I miss it but I�m afraid that I can�t stay there for long. That ground starts to burn under my feet again.
-It�s sad.
-It�s funny that you want most something you can�t have.
-Ironic.
I started to hum Alanis�s song. AJ looked like he was about to cry.
-OK, not let�s go swimming, I said and climbed down.
-What? You can�t mean it? It�s so cold.
-That�s what makes it cool. You can come back to sauna after that. It makes good to your heart.
It�s just great how some lines get double meaning as soon as you say them. I went out and heard AJ following me.

I walked to the end of the dock and let my towel to drop. I looked AJ over my shoulder.
-I can�t swim in it.
It was so dark you could hardly see the main house. And I was sure they couldn�t see us. I put my toe to the water. It felt cold but I couldn�t turn back now. I jumped in and first got a shock until a pleasant feeling run trough my body.
-Oh, don�t be so chicken, join me, I said to AJ who stood on the dock shivering. He shook his head.
-I don�t think so.
Water was starting to freeze me so I got up. AJ was kind enough to turn his head away until I was decent again. I went to him. He looked really pathetic standing there.
-It�s not that cold; I said and stuck my fingers to his neck. He roared and I laughed. He grabbed my hand and twisted it away. But then he wouldn�t let go. And we stood there, me really wet and he really cold. AJ fingered my cheek. I looked into his eyes. I know there were tears in mine as I leaned in and kissed him. His lips felt so warm. I laughed a little as cold water dropped from my hair to his face and made him tremble. I kissed him one more time. He tried to say something but I put my finger on his lips and shook my head. I didn�t want to spoil the perfect moment.

Later I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I thought I would. We went back to sauna and AJ was wise enough not to ask anything. I needed to get my head clear.

Who was I kidding? Fact was I couldn't resist him. Wherever he'd be around, I'd always love him. But the things that stopped me from making the move hadn't gone anywhere. One kiss later I was still confused. Ok, dozen of kisses. Because we stood on the dock for a while. And I thanked the fog, it was impossible to see us from the main house. At least I hoped so.

That night was like one before. We went in, AJ sat on the other side of the room, I played some more chess with Nick who kept losing but still wanted to play. So it was nice, warm and comfortable. But every time my eyes met his across the room I felt the heat on my body.

I blamed sauna and swimming and went to bed early. I thought that way I would avoid an unpleasant moment with AJ. I had been in my bed for over an hour when I heard Nick and AJ coming in. They had conversation in a low voice, I couldn�t hear what they said. It made me restless for a while but when they put the lights down I sighed. For relief and for something I didn�t know.

When I had been awake for three hours and the dawn was coming, I took a risk for my need of cigarette. Downstairs had been quiet for so long I thought I was safe. That time I got all the way out in peace and made sure that AJ wouldn�t be there too.

So I inhaled my cigarette and crystal clear morning air and felt very relaxed. Or something close to that. I kept eyeing inside. I was afraid what would happen if AJ�d come out. Because it was like one of those moments when you are so much with the world it feels like all the problems would just disappear if you�d say so.

I climbed back up and went to bed. It was getting more and more lighter and if possible it made me feeling more awake. I took my notepad and tried to write but my thoughts were running away from me like cows in springtime. Then I heard quiet steps.

Quickly I put the pad away and my head to the pillow and tried to look as I would have been sleeping. But you can�t fool him so easily.
-Please, I know you better, he whispered when he reached my bed. I opened my eyes and looked at him.
-What do you want?
-Don�t you think we should talk?
I sighed and sat up.
-Is it gonna do this any better? All we do nowadays is talk and talk. Bla bla bla...
-OK, if that�s how you feel. Just let me... I need to say something.
I made some room on my mattress because it was pretty much only place to sit on. Carefully he sat, avoiding touching me. I waited.

-It seems, that I don�t have any words left either, he finally said. �You know I love you. And what you said about Oliver, that he was willing to change his whole life for you and I, I can�t do anything. It�s not true. I know this isn�t what you expected from your life. But you have to admit that since a year ago when you came to this country you�ve changed more than you ever imagined. You�ve been around enough to know what kind of hullabaloo my life is. And still I�ve been able to stay in contact with you. Now I want more. I don�t expect you to tour with us. You can stay in New York, or Florida, or wherever you decide, that�s up to you. You can fly to meet me, I fly to meet you. You can write, if you want. You can travel to Finland and God knows I�d be missing you but I know your family is there. Anna, what I�m trying to say here is... Would you give me an honor and become my wife?

If I ever thought I�d be asked to marry someone, this was the last person and the last place for that. But still AJ�s words brought tears to my eyes. And before I knew I said yes. I SAID YES! I know that AJ was as amazed as me but I still said yes. Many times, in between his kisses and even after all our clothes were thrown to the corner. And I said yes when I fell asleep in his arms.

Next Chapter

I'm way too curious. Tell me what you think.

Menu