new york, new york

chapter 59

When Howie and Nick finally got back from lake with two fish they found six of us sitting in the mainhouse kitchen waiting for pasta to be done.
-What? No fish? Nick asked. -After we with sweat and tears bring you some food, you've deceived us and gone shopping.
-Those two creatures hardly would feed eight people, Leighanne said calmly. -And in five hours you get pretty hungry.
Brian had eased my shock taking AJ to the village with him. Thou they had to sit in the car while Alicia did shopping, you never knew who would recognize you.

After our late lunch Nick finally brought up thing that I had been wondering.
-Where will AJ sleep?
We all looked at each other. Our cottage was like house for singles, I knew that either of couples would like to have someone sharing their space.
-Nick you're gonna have to share, I said and avoided AJ's eyes. He must have been pretty confused because I didn't say anything to him during whole afternoon but it took me a while to get over the fact he was even in the same room with me.
Nick growled. -Why me?
-You're the only one who has free space in his bed. Downsides of being single.
Smile on my face was pretty cruel.

If I previous night had felt relieved, next one I had to admit that my insomnia was back. I heard as Nick and AJ faught downstairs. They certainly were like brothers trying to decide where and how and when they should sleep. I looked out at the lake from my window. Dock was slightly moving by the waves coming in. Beside that stood still the small house that got me curious earlier. I renewed my promise to find out about that.

But because I didn't feel sleepy, I thought that I could take some advantage of the situation. So I took my notepad and started to write.

After few hours of writing I had an idea for a new stroy. I felt very pleased with myself. But not sleepy at all. I listened for a while and when I didn�t hear anything from downstairs, I gathered my courage and headed out.

No one waked up when I went trough downstairs. Actually Nick was pretty much snoring and for a moment I felt sorry for AJ. I opened the door quietly and made sure I had the keys. Then I stepped out.

Night was bright, stars seen clearly. It was colder than in daytime. I rubbered my hands together before lighting a cigarette. Then I heard quiet coff right by my side.

-Shit you scared me, I said when my eyes caught AJ standing there smoking.
-Sorry.
-I didn�t hear you leave.
-I�ve been here for a while.

I really didn�t know what to say. Situation was so uncomfortable. We had shared our lives and our fantasies and secrets but still he felt like a total stranger.

-You left the keys.
He must have been in New York right after I�d left.
-Yeah.
-I thought you were coming back to here after Christmas.
-But I can�t stay there.
-I understand.

We stood in silence for a long time.
-If I�d known, AJ finally said.
-You have all rights to be here.
-But I know how weird this must be to you.
-It�s not that bad.
-It isn�t?
I was lying only partly. It was bad but I couldn�t say that to AJ. Not when he was standing there and loving me.
-No. But I�m confused.
-I hope... I hope things would have worked out for you.
-Me too. He was ready to change his whole life for me. You know how that makes me feel.
-I have an idea.
-And then again, you... You couldn�t change anything for me. I don�t say that you should. You can�t.
-That must be the reason.
-Maybe.
I didn�t know the reason. It would have been so easy to take those few steps keeping us apart and fell for his arms. But in the end it would have been wrong for both of us.
-I�ll go up. Good night. Try to get some sleep.
-You too. See you in breakfast.

Quietly I went in. Nick wasn�t snoring anymore, actually I could him holding his breath in his bed.
-Sleep in peace, I whispered to him. �We�re not gonna kill each other.
I guessed those weren�t words he wanted to hear. But I didn�t have right words for anyone.

When I woke up in the morning both of guys had gone to the mainhouse already. I enjoyed my privacy and took a long hot shower and didn�t hurry as I got dressed. Finally I was ready to meet them.

But only one waiting for me was Alicia.
-They went hiking, she said as she saw my questioning look.
-All of them?
-No. Howie is still sleeping.
-Wild nights you two have? I guessed as I took coffee.
-It�s so nice to spend time with him.
I sit to the table.
-I�m sorry it didn�t work out with you and AJ.
-Me too. But I�m pretty sick of even thinking about it. I�ll go mad if I try. He is everything I could ever dream and still...
-Trust me, I know.
-I bet Howie is lot easier.
-It can seem that way.
I couldn�t disagree because even if Howie was a great friend, I couldn�t imagine him as a lover.
-Take it easy, Alicia said softly.
-I�m not gonna make a scene if that�s what you�re afraid of.
Alicia laughed.
-Anyway I�m glad you came.
-Funny. In a weird way I�m happy too.

Days were long and relaxed. We cooked, wached dishes, played, did everything together. I stayed away from AJ as much as I could. But every night we went to smoke together.

One evening Nick was swearing heavily as he was playing chess with AJ.
-Are you missing your Nintendo already? Brian asked from the sofa with laughter in his voice.
-I can�t understand this game.
-That gives us proof of your mental state, I joked.
-So you wanna play? he instantly challenged me.
-OK. I�ll play with one that loses. So that must be you.
Nick showed me his tongue and played on. I was reading one novel.

-This can�t be, I heard Leighanne saying.
-What? Bri asked.
-Come and see.
Brian got up and walked to the chessboard. I finished reading and looked at them.
-Am I genius or what? Nick smiled.
-What did he do? I wanted to know.
-Well, it seems like impossible situation, Bri explained. �Nick has only queen left, AJ�s been beating his ass heavily.
-So Nick, are you ready for our battle?
-Not so fast, Leighanne said. �You see, Nick can�t move anymore. Because anything he does leads his queen in danger and it�s against the rules to do that.
-In a weird way this kid just won.
-No, it must be equal.
-I�d say he won, Leighanne wondered.
I looked at AJ.
-Are you ready?
In silence he started to arrange the table to starting positions. I sighed and went to play.

-Come on, move already.
I was getting inpacient. AJ thought about his moves like minutes. Others had lost their intrest on our game after few moves. I wanted that to end. Sitting across him in that small table made me more uncomfortable I wanted to admit.
-By the way, Anna, you�re probably thrilled to know what I found out today, Howie said.
-What�s that? I would be thrilled to see this man doing his move.
-I found the right key to that small house.
I�d tried to explore it but door was locked and windows so small you couldn�t see in.
-So what was that?
-It�s a sauna. Or I think so.
-Howie, I thought you were sophisticated person.
-Well, it looked like a one but I�m not sure.
-OK, AJ. Try to speed this up a little bit, I want to go search that place.

After almost an hour we were finally done. AJ beat me. That wasn�t a surprise because since I heard news about that small house I lost all interests to the game.
-Who wants to come with me? Anyone?
They all looked out from the window and shook their head. OK, weather wasn�t very nice, it had been raining all day. But it was warm, gentle rain and it didn�t bother me. So I took my jacket and dived out.

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I'm way too curious. Tell me what you think.

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