new york, new york

chapter 51

I listened the song twise to be sure I had understood it all right.

-Howie?
-I�m busy.
-Just tell me one thing. Is AJ still with Helen?
-Anna?
-Just tell me. Are they still together?
-Yeah. But...
I didn�t need any buts. Well, hanging up was coming a habit but it wasn�t Nick.

Soon after that the phone rang.
-I guess you listened it, he said.
I was furious.
-Oh yes I did. Would you now like to explain what�s this all about? So you have a right to find a girl but I should be single for the rest of my life? Or are you keeping Helen there as your back-up? What does this all mean? You can�t get over me? Well, for your information, I�m completely over you!
-Then why are you so mad? he asked softly.
I took deep breath and tried to calm down.
-AJ. What is going on? Would you please tell me?
-I�m sorry about last night. I was too hasty.
-Yes you were!
-Would you let me explain now?
I was quiet.
-Thanks. I did many of stupid things. Me and Helen, we had a fight last night because she wanted to go home already though we were supposed to spend one more day in NYC.
-Why didn�t you call me you�re in town?
-We�re kind of passing trough. I didn�t want to bother you.
-Oh, that sounds like a good reason.
-Would you please keep your mouth shut? Or I wont tell you anything.
-That would be nice thing to do, I said, little too nasty. -Sorry... Keep going.
-First I thought that he was just some stranger harassing you.
-You mean Oliver?
-Yeah. I guess. And then... I don�t know what went into me. I just got mad.
-I noticed.
-Anna... Then... Well, you know, I took two drinks, went after you. In a cab I tried to settle down, I just wanted to see you, explain you somehow... So I got at your place. Or my place. Whatever. But when you finally came, I couldn�t help myself. I felt like I was losing you.
-I�m not going anywhere.
-Yes you are. You don�t call me anymore that often you used to do. You don�t tell me everything about your life. I have to read your articles to know how you�re doing... You�re fading away from me. And I can�t stand that.
-But AJ... We�re friends. Just friends. First when I called you... It was still like you would�ve been my boyfriend. But truth is that you�re not. And you�ll never be. I share my life with Oliver everyday. I love you and care about you a lot... You know it�s hard. It�s hard for you and it�s hard for me. But I can�t be here living this life only trough you, waiting for your news, telling you every little detail of my so boring days. It just doesn�t work.
-But you promised...
-To be your friend. Remember, I have friends in Finland. Last time I�ve seen them is almost half year ago. I send them e-mails, it�s not the same. But still I call them my friends even if I�m not that close with them all the time.
-But I don�t want to be like that.
-You�re such a typical male, I got pissed off. -It�s allright you have a girlfriend and you don�t seem to even stop to think how calmly I took Helen�s precence! And when you see me with another man... You feel like you�re losing me. Oh, grow up!
-Anna you know how it is for me...
-Don�t hide behind that I�m famous -stuff. You can�t get everything excused by that. You still have to know how to behave! Only one you�re hurting here is you. Well, for your information, me and Oliver may be over. But it doesn�t mean I would like to see you ever again!
AJ was quiet for a long time. Then I heard he speaking someone in background. Then he came back to phone.
-Think it over. I have to go now. We�re going to TRL. So...
-Good luck with it AJ.

He knew I would have to open the TV. Carson was there saying some of his cute words once again. Seeing Times Square full of fans it felt like another city.
-So here they are, Backstreet Boys, finally coming home from Europe. Welcome!
Carson�s words almost got under the screaming of fans. Boys came to the set and I could see how tired they all were. In spite of that they all smiled bravely. Well, all but AJ. You can�t have it all.
-So, how does it feel to be back at home?
-We�re not really home yet, Kevin answered. -Ask me after 24 hours when I�ll be sleeping in my own bed... No, it feels good. I love Europe, all of us does, but home is still home.
-I heard your tour wasn�t that easy this time?
It was Howie�s turn to say some wise words: -I guess you can�t take things granted. It has been long time since we�ve been there last time. European fans are more loyal though. They haven�t forgot us. But it�s still hard to be on the road, and travel so long distances everyday.
-How do you think fans reacted to your older image? Since last time you�ve been there two of you got married...?
-They seem to take it all right, Brian said. -Bottom line is music. Everything else is just... hystery. We got big congratulations from fans there. I guess all they want is us to be happy.
-Now I think what everyone is dying to know, which one of you is still single? There�s been some rumours around...
-Don�t listen to those, Nick smiled. -I guess I�m the only one. Howie there has had a secret girlfriend for a while already, he didn�t tell even us and AJ is also dating. So that leaves me.
Fans screamed as Nick grinned. I was ready to puke. Then of course AJ had to open his mouth.
-Lasting relationships are hard to find.
Other four, as well as Carson looked amazed. I knew they always had pretty much all the questions and answers planned before, there were some things they were never asked, not at least in a show like that. But now AJ had jumped off from the script.
-It�s not just girlfriends. It�s everyone. When you meet intresting person and all he or she wants to do is to talk about your music... You give it up pretty soon. We have our own small circle and it�s hard to break trough there. Always watch your back, we are reminded day after day. And so much ahead leaves out of our life because we keep looking back. Sometimes you meet someone...
AJ had a pause but everyone, even the fans were silent.
-This has absolutely been the roughest tour for me so far.
Carson coughed and got back to the script.
-So, what do you plan to do now? Are you making a new album?
Brian started to explain their plans for future. AJ didn�t say anything during the rest of the interview.

Phone rang once again. I turned off the TV and answered. At least it wouldn�t be any of the boys.
-Hey, it�s me, Oliver. Could you let me in?
-Sure, hold on a sec.
I was at the door when he came in.
-I guess that explains why the buzzer doesn�t work, he just said.
I haven�t ever understood male logic.

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