new york, new york

chapter 32

I was sitting in the audience of another small theater packed with people. Some sang Boys� songs, but I sat silent. I didn�t know what I was doing there. Luckily I hadn�t seen anyone familiar on my way in. Meeting their staff and friends is unavoidable if living with them for a month and a half.

Stage was dark. And then full of light. Johnny came into the stage. He was wearing black leather, looking cool, cold, tuff, unbreakable. He started to sing. I don�t even remember the songs, he did some covers of BSB too. Later when I read reviews of the concert I don�t believe that I was there.

Girls were screaming when the lights when out once again. Then I heard the guitar. Just one spotlight lighted AJ and the guitarist.

-Next song is dedicated to someone very special. I had the melody for a long time but couldn�t find the words that would fit the melody. One morning I woke up and looked what I had written down previous night. And this is how it goes:

�The house I went
it was silent
I couldn�t hear your voice
And then I knew
I would miss you
�cause I knew you�d made your choice

You may not know
that it showed
in your eyes long before we met
Me being selfish
stealing a kiss
and a lot more but now this is all I get

Loneliness - you�re away
Emptiness - when I memorize - the pain
Prize - I must pay
I lay
on my bed - and cry - and never rise - again�

He didn�t look at the audience, just kept his eyes down. I couldn�t believe what I heard.

� We were so cruel
that was the fuel
we both needed at the time
I�d give it all
for one call
I was a dollar and you threw me away like a dime

I shout - you�re away
Bawl my eyes out - all my lies - the pain
Prize - I must pay
I lay
on my bed - and cry - and never rise - again

I can�t tell you to come back
�cause you wouldn�t do that (or would you?)
Even asking is too much
more than your touch
would hurt you to say no
I had to let you go

So be free
but never be
alone or afraid of scared
Come by
Just say hi
I�m here to tell you that I really cared

Three words
I�ve heard
too many times to believe in them anymore
So I�ll do
all for you
and hope you�ll heal these wounds of mine which sore�

Lights went out once again but I couldn�t relax. I was leaning forward, reaching out on something I couldn�t get.

-Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome two special guests, Nick Carter and Howie Dorough!
Everyone screamed. Girls next to me were almost fainting and crying hysterical.

I heard the notes and knew the next song too. It was �Count on me� originally performed by Whitney Houston. But the Boys made it sound so different and still major and sweet. That was when I started crying. At least I think so.

As they finished the song, AJ turned away and left the stage. Last notes were still floating on the air when I heard the words that would eventually change my whole life.
-Anna, we miss you.

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