new york, new york

chapter 28

I got back around 8.30 p.m. I had enjoyed my time out. Yes, it was nice to shop with Leighanne but she usually took me places where I couldn�t afford anything. Now I had bought new notebook, for another stories. The one wasn�t finished, but I had my head full of ideas. Anyway buying wasn�t the point, I just lover walking around in shops, especially in book shops. I amused myself asking books in Finnish. Usually there were some, but as usual I had read them all. But when I find some, I didn�t hesitate to buy it.

-Howie called, Leighanne told when I walked in.
-What did he say?
-He�s coming over soon. Oh, there he is.
I turned to look back and there he really was.
-Why do you look so serious? Leighanne asked from Howie.
-I�m just tired, he claimed. -Anna, should we go upstairs?
I turned and headed up. I didn�t even look if he was following me.

-So what happened?
Howie was lying on my bed, I was smoking outside and looking in trough the glass. Door was open so I could hear what he asked. I wish I hadn�t.
This was the part I had been most afraid. I had been fortunate that no one else knew that I had run off like that, but how would I explain it to Howie without telling all about it?
-What�s going on between you and AJ?
-Nothing. I just wished there would be.
-Anna. Tell me the truth.
-I�m telling it right now. We have had occasional flirt, and I took it too serious.
-Then why didn�t you stay last night?
-I felt hurt. And stupid. I know, I was acting like some teenager, I�m sorry! I just couldn�t look into his eyes. He would have know what I had been thinking.
-AJ? No. He�s not like that.
-He could be.
I tried to change the conversation.
-How did the party go?
-Well, it sucked. Everyone else had fun. Not me.
-Why not you?
-Well, let�s see... Brian and Leighanne, Kevin and Kristin, Nick and Maddy, yes they�re back together, all my friends in couples, even AJ until...
I turned to look out. But I was or wasn�t fast enough.
-He came after you.
-Who?
Howie came out to the balcony.
-AJ came after you.
I didn�t say anything.
-This was more serious than you said. You had already something going on and when knowing you wouldn�t be at the party he brought... that lady. What an ass!
-No, Howie.
I turned to see him.
-AJ didn�t come after me. I came straight home, felt like an ass myself. Then I wrote all night.
-Then how do you explain that?
Howie pointed in to clothes that were lying on the floor. In the daylight you could clearly see dirt spots on the dress. My shoes were full of sand.
-Well, not that straight... But it isn�t anything. Your have too wild imagination! AJ probably went home with... that lady.
-No he didn�t. I tried to call him but he didn�t answer.
-Would you answer if you were screwing someone?
I saw hesitation on his face and I was happy I had convinced him that it was nothing. Because he would have taken sides and I didn�t want that to happen. It was between me and AJ. Or not even that anymore.
And even if something had broken inside of me, I wasn�t sure about that, I was sure thou I didn�t want to break off their friendships.
-So you�re cool with it?
-Howie, I�m fine with it.
-Anna. You�re exceptional.
-Yeah, I said. -But not beautiful or polite or anything else I should to be AJ�s... lady.

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