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chapter 2

Then what happened? I went home with AJ. Of course it was supposed to be very temporary situation but it was fourth week going on. I kept my bags packed because I was sure that he would kick me out any minute. We didn�t get along at all!

The door opened and Howie and AJ came in. I put my pen down.
-Don�t you guys know how to knock?
-Sorry.
-It is my room.
-It is my house.
Comments like that made me to be on my toes all the time.
AJ went to the window and stood there. Howie came to sit on the sofa.
-What�s this music?
-What�s? Who�s! It�s Alanis Morissette. It reminds me of one Finnish artist. One of my favorites actually. I�ve lost her album.
-Maybe you should get new one, Howie suggested.
-I already did. I ordered it from the net.
-Oh? And what else if you may ask? AJ didn�t turn to see me but I could imagine the mean grin on his face.
-You know I haven�t used your credit cards to anything except that. And to those few shirts that I bought last week.
-And that�s gonna make how much?
-AJ relax. About a hundred? Howie asked me.
-Something like that.
-She�s been wearing same clothes for six months. Give her a break.
-And barely washed them, I added.
-Easy for you to say, it�s not you credit card.
-Well, if that�s it, I�ll bring her mine. OK?
It wasn�t always like that. We had our good moments, when we hit the same thoughts at the same time. But unfortunately most of the time AJ liked to remind me that I was there only because he was being so generous. That made me so mad that I wanted to leave the house on that same minute he said something like that. But the fact was that I didn�t know where to go. My friend were touring again, and probably somewhere in the middle of North Dakota and my money supplies were lower I would ever confess to guys. I was happy to have a soft bed, warm shower and low fat meals made at home. But I didn�t know how long my patience would last.

-So you�ve worked hard today? Howie asked and pointed at my note book.
-Something yes.
-So? What happens next in that story?
I wrote in Finnish most of my texts. It is still a lot easier for me, since it�s my mother�s language. I was writing a long story about a girl who met this boy and all the troubles that were on their way until 2 years later they finally had each other. Of course I had planned it all in my head but I don�t tell things like that until I�m finished writing because it always changes a little and I liked teasing the boys about the story. They were anxiously waiting for the next chapter. Almost every night we sat in the terrace and I �told� them the story reading and translating it at the same time. And almost every time I had to explain something more because they got a wrong impression of what had happened earlier. Then they suggested me what should happen next and sometimes I followed their advice and loved the smile on their face when they realized that the characters were saying their words.
I opened my book and searched the right page and started to read. Howie helped me with hard words, I always explained him things like:
-You know, the thing that is in a cheap motel rooms, not a oven but that thing that has only a plate...
And then he would tell me the right word. It was very instructive for me too.
As I read of a one more time when they almost meet and tell what they really feel, I saw how AJ was relaxing in front of the window. He came to sit to the chair but kept his look on the setting sun.

-Awl... Couldn�t they finally get each other? Howie damned when we came to the point I was at when they walked in.
-But... AJ looked very lost in thought. -If they would meet now it wouldn�t be the same? That maybe it would be too early and they�d ended up hating each others because they would blame other of everything that�s now going on wrong in their lives. That even if they would be the right ones if couldn�t work. That would be blasphemy.
I didn�t say anything �cause I had learned to know that AJ didn�t expect that. Nothing I could say wouldn�t make him say any more. And sometimes I desperately wanted him to keep talking. That I would really know who he is! He was the man I saw first in the morning and last in the evening and we barely said good morning to each other when we were alone in the house. Only times he treated me as a person was when some of the guys were there too.
-Well, we�d better to leave you to work, AJ said and stood up. Howie looked harmed.
-Yeah, I�m gonna go bed soon too. So try to keep it down.
-We will.
I leaned forward when Howie reached to give me a kiss on my cheek. AJ walked behind me and all I could feel was the air moving when he passed me by. I breathed and took my pen again. But words had flown off from my head and I ended up staring the evening sky.

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