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chapter 14

”You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why”

Just words? All right, I admit, this was getting a bit weird for me. Or not a bit, a lot. If you do remember how the ending of this Vertical Horizon song goes... Just replace all he’s with I am.

But was that me? Always looking for something I couldn’t get? So why I wasn’t already drooling all over AJ when he was so to be said ”out of my league”? Or was AJ just admiring himself when thinking that he is the perfect guy? And what did all that have to do with the being good or loved no matter what?
All these questions spanned in my head. And somehow I knew that I did have all the right answers, I just would have to know where to look.
And I went back to where this all started. That little innocent note on the fridge's door after... our night together in a same bed? No! Nothing happened. Yeah, well, something did, he made me cry. And said that I would be perfect - for someone else. And now he was giving me reasons why I was so wrong?
Awl... It didn’t make any sense at all. So I decided to put it out of my mind for a moment. Howie sure helped me with it.

-What? Brian hasn’t told you?
-Told me what?
I was poling my nails while talking with him on the phone.
-About that gala next week?
-Why should he have? I’m not invited anyway. It’s just one lonely night at home.
-No, girl! You are invited. Everyone wants you to come.
-Everyone?
-Well, me and Nick, and Kevin... He may not know it but he would want if he knew.
-What about AJ?
-Funny that you mentioned him. He has been little odd lately.
-Really? Isn’t that his normal condition?
-Normally he’s just freak. Now he is weird.
-And how familiar does that sound?
-Would you like to be serious for a while?
-Howie, you make it unbelievably hard.
-Anna! Listen to me.
-I’m listening. Tell me your worries, doctor’s listening.
-I give up!
-OK. Tell me. AJ has been weird. So what has he done?
-Nothing.
-Nothing?
-Nothing that unusual. It just... Sometimes when I’m in the same room with him, it feels like he’s not there.
-And you’re sure that this has nothing to do with your well-being?
-No!
-OK, I believe you. So his mind is wondering?
-Yeah, something like that.
-Sure he’s not on trip?
-We don’t do drugs!!!
-Now don’t get mad at me, I was just asking. But as bringing this up, I assume that you have some kind of suggestion what could be causing it?
-Anna, are you psychic?
-No. I just know you.
-No you do not.
-Whatever. So what do you think?
-Well, to my opinion...
-Busted!
-Let me continue, please?
I really enjoyed teasing him.
-Sure, honey, you’re paying this call.
-I know! And it’s gonna take a small fortune.
-What about smalls when you already have a great one?
-Would you try to behave?
-So back to AJ.
-Well, he changed when you moved in with him. I couldn’t help noticing how calmly he treated you, but sometimes he just said something that made me think that maybe it was good to have someone around. You know, he hasn’t had anything steady going on lately?
-All I’ve heard are just rumors.
-Take a half of them, that would probably do. He hasn’t been fooling around that much as it seems, but at the same time he has had some unfortunate slights.
My ear caught something.
-Howie?
-Yeah?
-An unfortunate slight?
-What about it? There were few of them.
-Just that... Tell me, what do you know about certain songs?
-Songs? Anna, you are losing me once again.
-Oh nothing, that just sounded familiar to me. It’s like it’s from a song or so. But you don’t remember?
-No. It’s kind of common expression.
-New to me though.
-But you’re... We are missing the point again!
-Which was?
-AJ and his behavior.
-So, carry on then.
-OK. And now, when you’re staying at Brian’s, he has been getting more isolated.
-You know it was his idea that I’d stay here?
-What happened?
-He just left me a note and brought all my stuff here.
-And when was this?
-Just after...
-You spent a night together! Is there something you’re not telling me?
-To be honest, there is. He made me cry and told me that I was so wrong for him, although I was so nice girl.
-So you had something going on before that?
-No nothing. As you said, he treated me very calmly all the time.
-OK. Let me think about this for a while. I’ll call you later.
-Howie! What about the...
He had hanged up.
-...the party?

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I'm way too curious. Tell me what you think.

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