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hugs

I sat on the couch and looked around. The club seemed nice. There was crowd but not too much. Me - I didn't feel myself very comfortable.

I was invited to meet the Backstreet Boys. Or just one of them, AJ McLean. It all started about a year ago when he got my letter. He answered and the rest is history. Thou this was first time when we actually met. We had chatted on-line but face to face... Now he was sitting on the couch, but not the same as me. Nick was beside him and they seemed to have a lot of fun. Of course some beautiful girls came by and made me feel stupid. I'm not a model, just an average girl.

I had arrived to Stockholm early in the morning because I wanted to travel with a boat. I wasn't that much fan of flying and the distance between Helsinki and Stockholm is almost too short to be made by flying. My meeting with the Boys was scheduled for the afternoon so I had had whole day for myself. But I was too exited to do anything, even to sleep. I was tired and I couldn't help, I yawned. I didn't know to be happy or not because no one seemed to notice.

I looked around again. Howie was also in the club but had disappeared with one of bodyguards once we got in. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was AJ smiling. My heart went boom-boom, this was the first time he touched me. When I met them, all the Boys gave me a group hug. All but AJ. Nick even kissed me on my cheek and made me blush. Everybody laughed but AJ. He just looked me with very weird face. Soon after that Bri and Kev decided to go back to their hotel rooms and we came to that club. All the way down Howie had asked me various questions. AJ sat silent.
- Let's go dance, he yelled to me. I noticed that all the others were already dancing. My thoughts had captured me, once again. I smiled at AJ and stood up, followed him to the floor and started to dance.

I love dancing. And I'm pretty good at it. We danced for 20 minutes or something. Then music changed and people were getting tired.
-You go ahead, I'll be right there.
I needed to dance to forget AJ's eyes.

Music wasn't really slow, some kind of R&B. I could see couples dancing together but also solo dancers. I closed my eyes for a minute and just moved with the music. Until I bumped into something.

-F�rl�t, I already said in Swedish until I realize that it was AJ.
-Oh, I thought you went to table also.
-No.
His short answer made me feel stupid again. I stood still an wiped my forehead. My hair was going sticky after sweating. But after what had happened that far, or more what hadn't, I couldn't care.
AJ had a glass in his hand and I reached for it.
-What is this?
-Water.
I smelled the drink, tasted a little and emptied the whole glass. AJ seem not to mind. But I couldn't read emotions from his face. I didn't know him well enough.
-Thanks.
I slipped the glass to the waiter walking by.

So there we stood, in the middle of dancing people doing nothing. I took few steps to go back to the table when AJ grabbed my hand. My heart almost stopped, his touch burnt me. I looked at him but he didn't say anything - or let my hand go. Instead he took few steps towards me. Just then I realized that music had turned really slow. There were only couples all around us. AJ put his arms around me and looked me straight to my eyes. His touch still felt burning and we were like two teenagers dancing like that for he first time. We moved around clumsy until AJ touched my neck and I relaxed. I put my head on his shoulder and let the music lead us. I felt so great! After a while I was so totally relaxed that I could feel AJ's heartbeat. His fingers played with my hair on my neck. I was there warm and willing in his arms. I don't know how long we danced but finally the tempo got up again. AJ let me go and I stood in front of him. He touched my face and I knew that he was about to kiss me. I leaned a bit forward and - a man came.

-H5! he yelled to AJ who was suddenly awake and aware. The moment had gone. I looked to our table. People were surrounding it and Nick was trying to get out from there.
-Shit, AJ said. -You, stay here. You'd be in greater danger if I'd take you with me. You got money? OK, wait here. I'll get someone to drive you back.
And he was gone too. As I learned to know H5 stands for Hazard five. H10 is minor, H1 is major. Tonight it was not about the fans but the fact that bartender had seen a knife with one of them. Thou I couldn't understand that someone would want to hurt the Boys.

But I didn't know all that that so I was little angry. But there was not much I could do. S I went to a bar and ordered a glass of red wine and a large can of water. Dancing had made me almost sober. Thou dancing with AJ had mixed my head up more than any alcohol ever could.

There were some angry girls in the bar too. They were angry because boys had left. They tried to guess in what hotel boys were staying. I knew. But I didn't tell. 1) They wouldn't believe 2) they'd stab me. I tried to keep low profile 'cause I had no clue how many people had seen us dancing together.

Time went by. Club was almost closed when I gave up. I went to the bar.
-Could you call me a cab?

Fifteen minutes later the taxi stopped in front of the hotel.
-Nice place, driver said but I didn't feel like talking so I gave him money and told to keep the rest. He smiled and drove away.

I lied on my bed for a long time. I even thought about leaving the hotel. I could manage to harbor and get home. But it would feel like giving up. So I tried to sleep. And finally I did.

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