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I wanna hump a Wheat King
Actually I don't. But on Friday night I saw an ample number of sixteen and seventeen year-olds that would. Heise and I hit up game one of the Kings vs. The Raiders. I never actually realized how low-level these kids were actually playing at, but Friday's display reminded me that they are in fact just little kids. Heise and I both enjoyed rink pretzals that were coated in dehydrated chedder flavouring. It was good, but the powdered cheese got to me by the time I was half done. Also, I got ID'd buying beer. This was a foreign concept to me, causing me to blurt out "are you freaking kidding?". Classy, I know, but I had already bought beer from the same lady once before. I figure if you missed me the first time, that's tough shit for you. Aside from one "YOU SUCK!" yell at McVicar the game played out uneventful. I enjoyed watching some guy with a mullet scream at every call (good or bad) as he held a baby who couldn't be more than 8 or 10 months old. It made me feel good to know that the kid was could grow up with the grand childhood memories of such parental gems as "OPEN YOUR DAMN EYES". The guy I sat beside was a house league hockey coach, so in betwen face-offs and talking to Heise I learned the about the hardships a star house league coach endures. He had lost two of his best players because they were foster children and they had been moved again. He had no concern for these kids who were being moved from family to family like old furniture as he had bigger problems. Where would he get a new right winger?
Zellers had a Shaker and I brought the Shake
Company Christmas parties. The one time of the year where you are allowed to be friends with your co-workers and enjoy a few beverages. Since I have never been to such a function I decided I best go to this one. I don't plan on being with the Big Z next year, so I thought I would check it out.The whiskey flowed somewhat freely, and I made a point of sitting down for a chat with all of those whom I've worked with over the past years. But when drink money ran out I know I needed to act fast. I was browsing through the kareokee book when I spotted The Partridge Family hit, "I Think I Love You". The gears started turning, half speed of course, and I devised a plan. I would take donations from my fellow employees to sing this classic song to my manager. Obviously, this was what people wanted to see, as I pulled down $10 before taking the mic. I probably could have made more money, but I was beginning to feel guilty about taking peoples money. The the music started playing I managed to supress the need to scream into the mic. I pulled out the best David Cassidy I could. The song went over well, I effectively embarassed my manager and not one person demanded their money back. Everyone was a winner.
So then we went to the Bars
Inferno, my nemesis, was the same shat hole it always is. HO BITCH you're all white. Wake up.Then we hit H-city. Although I was a little pissed about accumulating $23 in cover charges for the night, I wasn't going home. Cow town brandon turned out to be a pretty decent time. I was drunk enough to do a little dancing and occasionally yell "Nice fucking pants!" at the Bon Jovi wannabe singer on the stage. If any of you see me in leather pants, which you won't, you have full permission to punch me in the face. Right in the fucking face. I don't mean to swear, but it reminds me of our blonde carebear friend Aran D Smiles.
|  DRIVE BY SHOOTING! December 5th The Price of Jagermeister jumped $6! That's bullshit. I had a Tom Collins with Lunch and it's giving me a headache. This Shockwave Project is killing me. December 4th Rekindled my hatred for Programming Shockwave 3D. Found out my job continues to suck past the nine o'clock hour. We are now open until 10. Keeping these hours gives me to much time to think. Par example: The "human" mindset seems to be heavily based on the belief that we are not animals. I hatched and developed this notion over the course of 2 hours of facing groceries. I spent the other 3 hours wondering if Sara(h) ever imagined me naked. December 3rd My average 10 minutes late for school. Learning a valuable lesson about taco Tuesdays. Those MF's at BK wouldn't give up the Simpsons watch when I refused to buy a meal. December 2nd I showed up on-time for school for the first time in well over a month. Baby steps...
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