Vignette; Part 1 of 3
Life Moves On
Kelly sighed as she dropped her keys on the small table by the door of her dorm room. She sighed again as she checked her voicemail for the third time-still no messages. Orlando had promised to call three days ago, but didn't. He hadn't called two days ago, or yesterday either. And he hadn't called today. And frankly, Kelly was tired of being patient.
The first three months of their relationship had been wonderful. Kelly stayed at Oxford through January to finish up her term abroad, and Orlando had stayed with her many nights. His house in London was a short commute if he didn't stay at the University, and they had braved the frigid winter weather in bliss. The end of January meant the beginning of awards season, which was thrilling, exciting, and only a little exacerbating. After much deliberation, Kelly and Orlando agreed that it was best for her to not make the awards circuit on his arm-the tabloids were already going wild with speculation as to the end of Kate & Orlando. For Orlando to parade a new woman around would just be too much for both to handle.
Nevertheless, awards season was still fun for Kelly. Orlando had managed to snag her two tickets to the Oscars, and although she didn't get to walk down the red carpet, she and Patrick still got to go.
But as February wound down, the excitement wore off. By March, Orlando was flung headfirst back into work filming the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean. Kelly was flung headfirst into the second semester classes she had been neglecting. Hours apart became days, days became weeks, and the weeks turned into a month. Now that April was half-over, Kelly realized she hadn't actually seen Orlando since her spring break trip to the Pirates set. Sure, their phone calls had been kept up with some frequency, but even those were starting to fade.
Kelly understood that he was busy. Kate-who had been amazingly cool with the whole situation-had warned Kelly that there would be hectic times like this. Yet, given Kate and Orlando's track record during �hectic� times, Kelly wasn't quite reassured. She tried to be patient. After a while, the intense longing she had felt at their first few separations turned into a kind of dull yearning to see him. As long as they talked on the phone, she felt OK.
But now that the phone calls were few and far between, Kelly felt like she was cheating herself. She remembered the summer after her senior year of high school, when many of her friends were heading off to college on one coast and trying to keep up relationships with their boyfriends on the opposite. Kelly had scoffed, and sworn that she would never deny herself the pleasure of an un-tethered college experience. And now, here she was. She had deferred her admission two years-enough to see most of the high school relationships flutter and fail-and yet she now found herself wrapped up in the most impossible of all long-distance romances. Was it fair? No. Not to Kelly or Orlando. He deserved someone who had the time to fly to and from movie sets. Someone who didn't mind being paraded around Hollywood while her name was dragged through the mud. Someone who wasn't struggling to keep up decent grades at one of the toughest universities in the country. Someone who wasn't Kelly.
Kelly flopped down onto the beige couch in the common room of her dorm. Kate was probably at the library, getting a bit of last-minute studying done before she flew off on some publicity stint. Kelly's other friends-the select few that she could manage to keep with her busy schedule and complicated entanglements-were most likely at dinner. Despite the rumblings in her stomach, Kelly didn't fee like joining them. All she really wanted to do was call Orlando and explain her feelings. But she knew that it would be an unpleasant conversation, and she was scared of what she would say�
Kelly closed her eyes and let her mind play out the memories of the past year and a half. From the very first time they met to the last kiss they had shared on the set of Pirates 2-Kelly remembered it all. Why, why couldn't this have happened two years from now? When Kelly would be out of school. When Orlando would be more settled into his role as Hollywood Heartthrob, and the press coverage would begin to wane. When the two of them could take substantial amounts of time off to just be with each other�
And as Kelly thought these things, she realized that was the way it would have to be. There was no way she could keep up the relationship from Princeton. There was no way Orlando should be expected to do the same half a world away. It would have to end for the present, with a big question mark for the future.
Was that right? Was that OK? How would Orlando feel? Kelly shrugged off the millions of questions that flung themselves at the walls of her head. She stared at the phone, grabbed it, and dialed the familiar numbers of his mobile phone.
Please pick up. No, don't pick up. No, do. This needs to be said. No. Go to the answering machine� As the phone kept ringing, Kelly felt her resolve lessening and an intense feeling of relief wash over. He wasn't there. The conversation would have to be postponed. Thank God.
And then, just as she was beginning to compose a message in her head, he picked up. Fuck. She heard his breathy greeting, but couldn't think of anything to respond with. She was frozen. Thankfully, it seemed Orlando could take care of all the talking. �Kelly, Kelly love. You have no idea how glad I am that it's you. I'm dying here. I'm dying. And I know I was supposed to call you a few days ago, but I got wrapped up in bloody training and got myself all busy and forgetful, and Johnny wanted to go out, and you know what? None of that matters now. I've got a good fifteen minutes before they discover I've run off the set, so please just let me hear your beautiful voice.�
Kelly smiled. It was amazing to hear his voice, too. But she had to tell him what was on her mind. She had to-for his sake and her health. And though a tempest was raging in her head, her mouth refused to form the words. All she could do was make little gasps at the phone. Because she didn't want to end it.
�Kelly? Kelly, are you there?� Orlando's voice burst through her thoughts. �Kel?�
�Yeah, I'm here,� she managed to cough out. �I'm here,� she whispered again as an afterthought. Clearing her throat, she continued. �So filming has been pretty crazy, then?�
�Yeah, yeah it's been a right pain the past two weeks. I always hate the middle of the shoot, you know. It just drags on. And I haven't seen you in, what, two or three weeks? And that's killing me, obviously. But I think it's starting to pick up again, and we should wrap here in another month or two. Any chance of you coming down to see me?�
Kelly paused. For some reason, she just wanted to yell at him. She wanted to completely rip him a new one. It hadn't been �two or three weeks,� it had been an entire month. She couldn't just flitter down to see him in a month as she'd be knee-deep in finals. And something about the flippant way he said, �and that's killing me, obviously,� just really, really got to her.
Maybe it was some external force that was motivating these thoughts. Because she knew that she should be thankful to be so blessed with such a boyfriend. She should be thankful that one of the most sought-after men in the world called her his own. She should be thankful that Orlando Bloom was asking her to join him on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean 2. And, deep down, she definitely was thankful. But on the surface, she was just exhausted. And it was time to tell him.
�No. No, I don't think there's any chance, Orlando. I don't think there's any chance of me coming down to see you in the next two years, in fact.�
She had said it. Perhaps not in the most tasteful way, but she had said it. And he clearly didn't understand: �I'm sorry? The next two weeks, did you say? Well, that's alright, I guess. I wouldn't expect you to come to if you've got finals and such to prepare for. What about after university lets out? In the summer?�
�No, I don't think you heard me, Orlando. Not two weeks, you see. Two years. I don't think there's a chance I can see you in the next two years.�
�What the bloody hell does that mean, Kel?� he asked with a laugh. �Are you taking the piss?�
�Umm, no?� Kelly continued, still not quite up with his slang. �I'm serious. I can't do this anymore. At least not now. Not while we're where we are right now.�
�You mean on the Pirates set? Kel, I swear I'll be done by June! We can spend the whole summer together! You don't have to go back to Princeton until September, right?�
�Well sure, but I know it won't work like that. It can't work like that. Filming will drag on, or some other opportunity will pop up, and there's no way we'll be together for three solid months. It's impossible! Haven't the past four and a half months taught you that? It doesn't work!�
�I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying, Kelly. Are you breaking up with me?� His nervous joviality had been replaced by flat out indignation.
Kelly rubbed her forehead in a gesture of frustration. �Honestly, Orlando, I don't know.�
�Well then what the hell are you talking about?� he broke in before she had a chance to compose her thoughts. �You don't know if you're breaking up with me? Because it certainly sounds like you don't want to see me anytime soon!�
�See, that's just it!� Kelly yelled. �That's exactly why I don't know! Because I do want to see you. I want to see you every God damn day of the year! And that's why I can't stay with you. Because there's no way in hell that will ever happen. Not here. Not now. And it's really killing me, so I'm just ending it.�
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Kelly could hear Orlando's accelerated breathing almost as distinctly as she could feel her own. �Well that sounds quite selfish of you, Kelly,� he said with decisive simplicity.
Kelly's head sank. The tide of anger she was feeling was beginning to ebb, and her voice dropped. �Yes. I know. It is selfish. It's selfish and egotistical and not really fair, but more than that, it's masochistic. I don't want to do this. I have to.�
�Why.� It wasn't a question.
�Think about it Orlando! Is this a satisfying relationship in any way? We don't talk to each other for days at a time, and when we do, the conversations are so rushed they're basically worthless. I haven't seen you in a month-yes, an entire month-and I won't be able to see you for at least another month. At least. And that's just if I decide not to get a job this summer, or-heaven forbid-think about internships or my fucking career for heaven's sake,� she paused to take a breath, but was cut off.
�You're still being quite selfish.�
�Well, let me finish, then, please. It's not fair to me. We've established that. But how is it fair to you? You're away on film sets for the vast majority of the year, and you deserve someone who can be there with you. Someone without entanglements. Someone without a job. And I wish that could be me, but it just can't. And me being able to see you only a few times a year isn't fair to you, either. I keep spending all your money to fly to see you-and don't say money isn't an issue, because it's an issue to me. And when I do see you, I distract you, or I'm only on set for a few days before I have to go home. I can't ever go to shows or premieres or parties with you, I can't meet all your friends, I can't move in with you-I'm just not the right girlfriend for you!�
�But you're the right girl for me,� he said quietly, and the emotion moved Kelly to tears. She tasted the bitter salt as it trickled down her face, and wondered if she was doing the right thing. Wasn't love supposed to conquer all? Wasn't love supposed to break boundaries? Wasn't love supposed to win? He continued as she pondered: �Isn't that all that matters? That I love you, and you love me?�
Kelly knew what her answer was. �That should be all that matters. I wish that was all that mattered. But in our situations that's not all that matters. And it's stupid. It sucks. I wish I could just be with you all the time, wherever you are, but I can't. And I do love you. I'm in love with you. But I just have to think about the future, and so should you.�
�Kelly, I still don't understand. Don't we have a future together? Shouldn't we just worry about that?�
�Yes-no, I don't know! I have no idea what will be going on two years from now when I graduate, but I'm a practical person. And I'm not just going to surrender the most important years of my life on the hope that we can figure out a way to make this work! And I know this sounds like the absolute bitchiest thing to say, and I hate myself for saying it, but I really, honestly think it's better for both of us!�
Orlando heaved a giant sigh and a painful minute passed. She had said it. She had gone right out and said that maybe they didn't have a future together. They had been skirting the issue for so long, caught up in the whirlwind romance, but now, with reality breathing down their necks, Kelly had decided it was time for action. And so she acted. And now she would suffer for it.
Kelly felt the trepidation in his voice when he finally spoke: �So you're saying you've just been wasting� No, let's not go there, actually.� He stopped. �I guess� I guess I never really thought of it like that. I suppose you make a good point,� he said with great reluctance. �I suppose perhaps we've known it all along. I mean, look at Kate and me-she's in the business and we couldn't make it work. It was stupid for you and me to try to make this work. Not now, at least.�
�No, no Orlando, it wasn't stupid,� Kelly whispered, moved by the sorrow in his voice. �It was amazing. The year and a half that I've known you has been just amazing. You are amazing. It's been bliss-it's been absolute bliss. But now reality is just coming around to bite us in the ass. Life just caught up with us. Both of us.�
Kelly wanted so much to be in his arms right now, to rest her head on his shoulder and just be with him. But, she supposed, that was the very problem. They simply could not be together.
�So what happens now? Are we done? Through? Finished?�
Kelly felt quite upset at being barraged by such final, concrete words. She had had no intention of ending the relationship completely-or had she? �I don't know, but those words scare me, Orlando.�
�Well, Kel, I'm not a fan of them either, but it sounds like we need to perhaps think about the future, a bit. I know we've been avoiding it�� he trailed off.
She could think of nothing to say. She rummaged around in her head for a solution that didn't seem completely ludicrous. But any situation she thought of seemed like a cop-out. �Well,� she began tentatively, �What if we just call it an extended break?�
He made a noise that sounded positive, and Kelly felt her confidence rise a bit. �You finish school, I settle down, and we call each other in two years?� he said slowly.
Kelly chuckled softly. �It sounds silly, doesn't it? But who knows? Maybe it'll actually work. But we have to let life run its course, you know?�
�See other people, you mean?� he asked with pronounced uncertainty.
�Well, yeah. See other people, pursue different opportunities, just let life lead us, right? Just live without the future of 'Kelly and Orlando' hanging over our heads. And, in two years, if it's right and good and well that we get back together, then we get back together. Am I just incredibly stupid for thinking this will work?�
�Well, you are a bit daft, love, but you always have been,� he joked, and Kelly was relieved to see he wasn't angry. But she could tell he was most definitely not happy. And neither was she, obviously. But� But this was just they way it had to be. �Alright then, we'll give it a run. In two years� Man, where will we be? I'll be-Christ, I'll be thirty bloody years old! And you'll be 24?�
�Turning 24, yes. We'll be a pair of geezers. I can't believe that's only two years away!�
�Only two years, that's right,� he mused softly. �Well, I guess this is goodbye then. Right?�
�How about 'see you later.' Does that work despite its cheesiness?� Kelly asked with a grin.
�Absolutely, love. That's brilliant. See you later.� He paused, and Kelly could hear him start to open his mouth to speak, then stop. They both knew what was hanging out there.
�What if we don't want to see each other in two years?� she asked for him. He didn't have to respond. �I don't know. I guess that's a definite possibility. But that doesn't mean we won't still be friends, right? I mean, I always want to be your friend. For the rest of my life. Let's just have that security, OK?� She smiled encouragingly, for although she knew he couldn't see her, she truly believed he could feel the smile, somehow. And she could feel him smile back.
�That's fine. That's wonderful. Honestly, I feel like we're throwing ourselves off a cliff here, but we've just got to take that plunge, I suppose,� he said with resolution.
�Absolutely.�
�Well then, I guess this is goodb-no, it's see you later.�
�Yes sir.�
�Alright. Well, Kel, I love you, alright? I don't want you to forget that.�
�And I love you, too, Orlando. I love you so much. And we'll talk later.�
�Much later.�
�Sooner than we think, I hope.�
�Me too.�
�OK. Bye, then.�
�Bye, love.�
Click.
And life moved on.
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