Vignette; Part 2 of 3
Is It Me?
Peeling off her tennis shoes, Kelly hopped into the kitchen. That was a good run, she thought. Sure, it had only lasted about fifteen minutes, but that was longer than the twelve minutes the day before. After all, it was New Jersey in March, and it was unseasonably cold. All she wanted to do now was grab some water and some pretzels and watch some TV. But that ever-growing pile of homework was eyeing her with a menacing glare. And she had to work in three hours� Maybe reruns of Friends would have to wait.
She turned as she heard the door click and her roommate Celia walked in. Kate had dropped out of Princeton following their sophomore year, leaving Kelly to fend for herself. Luckily, she hadn�t alienated herself too much from her other classmates, and had taken up residence in her junior year with Celia Dewitt, an Anthropology major from California. She was nice, to be certain�almost too nice, in fact. And Kelly certainly missed hearing the tales of the trade from Kate whenever she was home between shoots or press junkets. But it was nice to have a normal roommate. A roommate that wouldn�t ask her about Orlando, for sure. Maybe it�s because you haven�t told her, Kelly, she thought grimly to herself. And it was true, she hadn�t told anyone on campus about Orlando, and now that Kate was gone, it truly was her own little secret.
It had been her secret for quite some time. It was now the end of March 2006. Almost a full year since she and Orlando had decided to part ways. Almost a full year since she had heard from Orlando. Of course, it was impossible to completely ignore him. He was still one of Hollywood�s favorites, and his face was plastered over seemingly every cover of every magazine, taunting Kelly as she browsed at bookstores and leering at her in the supermarket.
It wasn�t that she didn�t like looking at him�not at all. It was nice to see his face, to remember their times together, his laugh, his touch. But the way the tabloids analyzed every single detail of his life was so frustrating. Frustrating because they were completely tearing apart his privacy. Frustrating because she felt tiny pangs of jealousy at whichever new actress or model he was �dating.� Frustrating because she had been a part of his life, but it was not her face on the covers. They had split. True, Kelly was glad that she had avoided the press and publicity of being a megastar�s girlfriend. But then, they had only dated for about four months, so did that even count as a relationship? Or was she just a fling like all these other girls? Thoughts like these dragged Kelly hopelessly downward. She couldn�t deny that there was a tiny�OK, a moderately-sized�part of her that was desperately longing to be back with him. Was it at all possible that he thought the same thing?
No, she told herself, more to crush any hopes of a reunion than to actually think about the truth. But though �the plan� had been in action for almost a full year, Kelly had not felt her longing slack. At times it seemed to increase with every passing day. Junior year at Princeton was notoriously hard; even harder for a simple Wyoming girl suddenly bereft of the two most important people in her life, and yet constantly surrounded by them, for Kate�s face was getting more and more exposure by the day. Kelly was in the peculiar situation, therefore, of being absolutely submerged in the presence of her best friends without actually ever seeing them.
Kelly realized that her water glass had been poised at her lips for some time as she heard Celia�s greeting. �Oh hey, Celia,� she responded with lackluster enthusiasm. �How was class?�
Kelly cocked her head toward the door as if to give the impression of listening to Celia�s narrative, but in truth, she couldn�t have been farther away from the present. She was in another funk, and there was no telling when she would pull herself out of this one. ��Anyway,� Celia�s voice cut in, �I just have no idea what�s up with him. But only time will tell, eh?� Kelly nodded a silent agreement, marveling at how much Celia�s words applied to her current situation, and how Celia would never know. Only time will tell. �Oh, here�s the mail,� Celia said, and Kelly heard the stack of bills and magazines plop onto the kitchen counter.
Every day�every day at this time, Kelly felt a little upswing in her mood. Celia was a huge follower of entertainment news, so Kelly was blessed with a constant source of news from Hollywood. She was clinging on to some forlorn hope�some hope she knew was nothing more than a dream�that there would be a mention of Orlando that would bring her joy. She knew full well that her behavior would have seemed quite unorthodox to an outsider�bordering on �stalker-ish.� But she just genuinely missed him as a person, as a friend. Any tidbit on his life was appreciated, seeing as she was locked in the midst of a self-imposed two-year silence. Kelly was sure that if the roles were reversed, Orlando would do the same thing.
�Anything good in that stack?� she asked Celia, trying as always to keep her voice even, nonchalant.
�Oh, you know. The usual. Newsweek, People, Us Weekly. Good stuff, it looks like,� Celia answered as she casually flipped through the stack of bills.
A little hum was all Kelly could muster. �What�s on the cover of Newsweek?�
�An election story�potential frontrunners and stuff. Because the election is two and a half years away, so we should definitely be caring about it now,� Celia responded with a derisive snort.
�No kidding! What the hell. I swear, campaigning starts earlier every year.� In all honesty, Kelly couldn�t give a damn about the election, but she feared she would sound too eager if she just pounced on the celebrity magazines first. Celia wasn�t too dim. She knew Kate had been Kelly�s roommate, and probably suspected that Kelly at least knew Orlando, whether or not she knew the extent of the relationship.
�It�s ridiculous, it really is. So sad that you waste your time with all that nonsense,� Celia said.
Kelly had a brief moment of panic: had she said something? Waste my time? Did Celia know she dreadfully wanted to scan for Orlando news? �Hmm? What did you say?�
�The elections! They�re just ridiculous! And they waste so much time. It�s utter nonsense. That�s all.�
�Oh, right. Couldn�t agree more, babe. But could you toss me the Newsweek anyway?�
�If you really want it,� Celia grinned as the magazine landed with an unceremonious plop in Kelly�s lap. She picked it up and briefly skimmed, back to front, looking for anything remotely interesting, all the while keeping an eye on Celia, who was deeply enthralled in Us Weekly.
Kelly heard Celia snort over the rustling pages. �My goodness. Can you believe this nonsense? I wish they would just leave celebrities alone.�
�Well me too, but then who would we live vicariously through?� she asked with a sinister grin.
�You make a good point, Kelly. Especially for someone who has actually lived with a celebrity. That must have been so amazing. Did you ever go to the Oscars or anything fun like that?� Celia�s eyes were fixed intently on Kelly�s, and it was all the latter could do to keep from spilling everything.
�Nope, never took me to the Oscars.� That wasn�t a lie, right? Kate had never taken her to the Oscars, though she had definitely been. �It really wasn�t that big of a deal. I mean, she told amazing stories, just based on who her friends were, and her experiences and all that, but most of the time when she was here, she was really intent on studying
�Like all Princeton students, I guess,� Celia mused. �Why did she leave? Did she tell you?�
�Um, yeah, we talked about it last summer. She just decided that she wanted to focus more on film. I mean, she kept saying that she didn�t feel like she was giving 100 percent in either area, and she thought she had a better future as a movie star than as a psychologist. So she dropped out.� Kelly�s gaze shifted to the floor. She missed Kate, to be sure, and had initially been very disappointed in her decision to leave, though she understood better now.
The subject wasn�t exactly number one on Kelly�s discussion list, but Celia continued. �Do you think she�ll ever come back?�
�No, I don�t think so,� Kelly answered simply, hoping Celia would take the hint and drop the subject. But she either didn�t catch the sign or just didn�t care.
�So what�s she working on now? Do you still talk to her?�
�Yeah, I mean, whenever I can. She�s real busy. You know, with that big ensemble movie with that guy from the thing�� Kelly said halfheartedly. The truth was, she hadn�t talked to Kate in a few months, and hadn�t followed her career as closely as she should have.
�Oh, �the guy from the thing.� Yeah, I liked him in that,� Celia smirked. �You should call her, you really should. You don�t want to lose that connection, after all!�
Kelly grunted a nondescript response, but apparently it was enough to satisfy Celia, who returned to her magazine. Kelly had no choice but to read an article about the next generation of hybrid cars, though right then she wished she could just hop in a hybrid car and leave New Jersey.
�Ooh!� Celia squealed, interrupting Kelly�s escape fantasy. �Speaking of Kate, look at this article on Orlando Bloom!� She flashed the magazine towards Kelly. Though she only got a brief glance, it was enough to send shivers down her spine and about double the rate of her heartbeat. It looked like a new picture, and a pretty substantial interview. Why Orlando was giving Us Weekly an interview was beyond Kelly, but she guessed he had movies to promote just like any other star.
�Oh, that�s cool. What does it say?�
Celia began reading: �Orlando Bloom, yada yada yada, Lord of the Rings, blah blah blah� Come on, Us, we know this stuff already! Oh, here�s some good stuff: �Recently rumors have been spreading that the hunky Pirates of the Caribbean star is reuniting with his former serious girlfriend Kate Bosworth!�� Celia�s eyebrows shot up in anticipation while Kelly�s heart plummeted to somewhere around her toes.
She fought back the nervous jitters that were spreading to her fingertips as Celia continued. ��Us magazine�s Maria Nartolla sat down recently with the delectable Mr. Bloom, 29, to talk about life, love, and looking great. Here�s what he said.�� Celia paused. �Well, they certainly have some fantastic writers on the staff,� she intoned with sarcasm. �Let�s see what good Mr. Bloom has to say for himself. Blah blah blah, �I believe love exists for everyone. Love is a beautiful thing.��real original wisdom there, darling. He continues, et cetera et cetera. No comment on the Kate rumors.� She paused again and Kelly watched her eyes skimming the articles.
Were Orlando and Kate back together, or was it just a completely unfounded rumor? She honestly would have no problem if they were�after all, she and Orlando had broken up. She laid no claim on him, and he really had been happy with Kate. More power to them, she thought, though forcing herself to feel such nobility required Herculean effort.
And despite her righteous attitude, Kelly felt those all-too-familiar jealous sentiments creeping up inside her. It was just like freshman year all over again. Kate had Orlando, Kelly had her jealousy. But why? Why was she feeling this way? She harbored no ill will toward either Kate or Orlando. She felt stupid, she felt mean, she felt absolutely worthless, all because of some silly rumor spread by a gossip magazine. She vowed not to let it get her down. But then Celia sucked in a sharp deep breath, and Kelly knew whatever came out of her mouth next would be a great tidbit.
�Kel! Listen to this quote! They asked if he thinks he�s found his true love�they don�t specify �with Kate,� but of course that�s what they mean. Listen to what he says about her: �I have absolutely found someone I would consider my soul mate. We are quite well acquainted. There have been some obstacles, like in any relationship, but I believe we will overcome them in the end. I�m in love with her, and I�m convinced she loves me back.�� Celia finished the sentence with a dramatic pause. �Isn�t that amazing? That he said that about Kate? Isn�t that just wonderful? You know the girl he�s talking about!�
Kelly wasn�t quite sure she knew anything at that moment. The quote had rocked her to the core. I have absolutely found someone I would consider my soul mate.
What did that mean? Was he talking about Kate? Was he talking about some floozy model or actress? Or some old flame from years ago?
But the greatest, the happiest, the most gut wrenching thought floated around in her head: Was he talking about me?
�Kel? Kelly? Isn�t that sweet?�
�Yeah,� she said, noticing the ubiquitous waver in her voice. She cleared her throat. �Yeah, that really is amazing. He said that about Kate?�
�No, silly,� Celia said with a wave of her hand. �He didn�t specify who he said it about, of course. He has to keep some sense of mystery about him, you know?�
�Right, right, of course. But the magazine assumes it was about Kate?� she said, hoping she didn�t sound too desperate, or worse�personally inquisitive.
�Oh, Kelly. Do you know anything about this magazine? I think they exist solely to cause drama in these poor stars� lives. Of course it doesn�t assume he was talking about Kate. Listen to what this silly Maria chick writes after that fabulous quote: �Was he talking about Superman beauty Bosworth? Since their lengthy courtship ended less than two years ago, Bloom has been linked to numerous women, including an infamous dalliance with Australian supermodel Genevieve Colburn. When he�s not playing the A-List, though, Bloom has been spotted in the company of ordinary women�mainly Brits, although multiple sources confirm a brief relationship with an as-yet unidentified American woman last year. Only time will tell who this lucky soul mate of Bloom�s is, although Us Weekly�s sources note that Bloom has recently returned from a spring visit to the set of Bosworth�s new movie,� and it continues. But that�s not the important part. Who do you think the �as-yet unidentified American woman� is? I remember reading about her, but they never got a picture of them together. That�s really a shame, isn�t it? I wonder if she knows that about 2 bajillion women around the world really hate her?�
Kelly hardly heard anything Celia was babbling about. Her brain had completely shut down upon hearing the words of the article. She simultaneously cursed and praised Us Weekly. Damn them for getting that quote from him, and for calling attention to the �mystery woman,� which is, of course, me. Or at least I assume it�s me, although I probably shouldn�t base anything on assumptions right now. I hope it�s me, at the very least. And damn them more for not convincing Orlando to actually come out and say that it was me he loved the most! Damn Orlando for probably not actually believing that! And most of all, damn you, Kelly, for entertaining any notion that he still loves you, she thought.
She had the sudden urge to call Kate, just to see if her friend could fill in the gaps that were looming in her mind, tantalizing her. But how would that phone call go? Hey Kate, it�s Kel! Remember me? Yeah, well, quick question: are you with Orlando, or does he still love me? Thanks, bye! Somehow, that just didn�t seem pleasant.
Yet miraculously, Kate must have had the exact same thought, for about thirty seconds after Kelly resolved not to call, her cell phone rang. So she picked it up. Before she could even say hello, she heard Kate�s voice: �Is it you?�
�Kate?�
�Of course it�s me, silly! Come on, now, don�t beat around the bush. Is it you?�
Kelly was beyond relieved that Kate wasn�t mad, jealous, or any of those negative words. And yet, today really was a day of surprises, so she just appreciated that everything was making perfect sense.
�Well, hi there!� she replied, not quite sure how to answer Kate�s question.
�Hello, yes yes, good good, I missed you too. Inquiring minds want to know, darling. Don�t keep us waiting!�
Kelly cracked a smile as Celia looked at her inquisitively, mouthing Kate�s name. Kelly nodded and moved into her bedroom. Best to keep this conversation private. �You�re not talking about the quote in Us Weekly, are you?� Being coy was fun! Especially since Kelly honestly didn�t know if she was the mystery woman�
�Yes! I have absolutely found someone I would consider my soul mate. I�m pretty sure he�s not talking about me, Kel, and if memory serves me correctly, he was pretty broken up after you two had� well, broken up. If you could call it that.�
Kelly pushed aside the comment. �So you two aren�t back together? The tabloids lied?� she asked with fake shock.
�Yes, imagine that! No, we are definitely not back together. I mean, we�ve flirted with the idea�and with each other, but you know, I just don�t think it was really in the cards for us. Especially not after what he told me about you.�
�What did he say?� The blood slowly drained from Kelly�s face at the thought of Orlando sharing relationship secrets with Kate.
�Oh, nothing too inflammatory. But let�s just say that I think you could pull off being the one in this quote. He had it bad for you.�
Kelly�s cheeks began to crack under the intense pressure of her smile. She was blushing, though she knew it was silly. And yet despite such feelings of happiness, the sorrowful, dull pangs of loneliness began to plague her once again. It was her fault that they weren�t together, right?
Kate must have sensed Kelly�s pondering over the phone. �Kel, you know he loved you. There�s no need for me to confirm it.�
Kelly regretfully acknowledged that the conversation was turning sober. �Yeah, I know, Kate. But why was he being so flaky when we were together?�
�He�s a flaky guy! He�s Orlando! I mean, I don�t know. I guess he was like that when we were together, too. You just have to take him as he comes!�
�Yeah, I know. I probably way overreacted. But I just couldn�t stand not being with him! Does that make sense? I wanted a real relationship with him! I mean, it took us so long to finally get together�� she paused, suddenly remembering who she was talking to. �Oh my gosh, Kate, I didn�t mean to imply that I was just waiting for him to dump you or anything. Oh my God, I am such a fucking idiot. I am so sorry��
Kate cut her off. �Kel, it�s fine. You don�t think I�m over him after what, a year and a half? It�s fine. I got over it. It took a while,� she laughed ruefully, �but I think I�m good now. I mean, you�re a total bitch for stealing my man, of course, but I�ll forgive you.�
Kelly smiled. �Can I just say that you are amazing? You have no idea how much I wanted to talk to you after Celia read me that quote. I was just so� so� I don�t know, just so��
�So nervous that I was back with Orlando and that he was talking about me? Yeah, I figured you would be.�
�Well, you pinned this nail right on the head. But seriously, Kate, even if he was talking about me�and I totally don�t know if he was�you�re cool with it?�
�Yeah! I mean, I�ll be honest, I wasn�t too crazy about you that December when you and Orlando first got together�but you know that. I�ve taken the time, I�ve contemplated the situation, and I can honestly say that I�m really OK with it all. Orlando and I� well, we had a lot of fun. I love him, but I�m not in love with him. And I love you more, Kelly. I watched you two like you have no idea�yes, I know, it�s kinda creepy�but I think you were just made for each other. And that�s the hopeless romantic in me speaking, but there it is! As soon as I read that quote, you popped into my head. And I just had to see if you got that same feeling!�
Kelly paused. �Honestly, Kate? That�s exactly what happened. I wished so desperately that he was referring to me. Every other brain function stopped, and I just panicked. I went through about six nervous breakdowns in a manner of seconds. Poor Celia. I hope she didn�t get too suspicious. But I was so scared, Kate. I was petrified! Shit, I still am! We have absolutely no idea if he�s talking about me. Honestly, I was the stupid twit who decided to break it off�or go on hiatus, whatever the hell we did�last year, and Lord knows he�s been with his share of women since then. Maybe one of them is �the one.� Maybe one of them is this �soul mate.��
�But maybe it is you! Isn�t that more fun to believe?�
�Fun, yes. Practical, no.�
�Oh, piss on practicality, Kelly! Indulge your fantasy! Call him! Do it!�
Kelly thought she could actually hear Kate bouncing up and down in her chair. And, she had to admit, the thought was quite tempting. She could just dial his number and try to ease back into things. So easy� Just a phone call�
�I can�t. I can�t, Kate.�
�Why not?� she whined.
�Because. Because I got myself into this stupid mess, and I�m going to see it through.� Kelly actually pounded her fist down on the bed, as if resolutely affirming her decision would make her feel any better about it. �Because,� she continued before Kate could interrupt. �Because what if he wasn�t talking about me�and that�s a definite possibility. Then what kind of deep shit would I have gotten myself into? �Hey Orlando, it�s Kelly. Yeah, I know I�m calling about a year too early in our silly little Quiet Game, but I was wondering if you think I�m your soul mate� You don�t? Oh, um, OK then. See you later? Have a nice life?� What the hell, Kate!�
Kate giggled. �Well, I suppose you could put it that way. But honestly, Kelly, the quote was about you. And I think you should call him.�
�And I think, to borrow a line from our favorite Brit, that you are a bit daft, and should probably hang up now before you put any more crazy ideas in my head.�
�OK, but will you at least promise me one thing?�
Kelly sighed an affirmation.
�Promise me that we won�t wait this long between phone calls ever again, OK? You and me? We�ve been through a lot together, and just because I�m not in school anymore doesn�t mean I�m not your roomie still. Deal?�
�Absolutely, Kate. I�m sorry this conversation was just about Orlando. We really�I really� How are you?� she finished awkwardly, feeling an intense guilt that Orlando had monopolized the conversation.
�Oh darling, I didn�t mean it like that. This was fine�I called you specifically about him. I just mean next time; we really should catch up. Because you�re not the only one with a potential soulmate on your hands...�
Kelly gasped. �Kate! Oh Kate, don�t leave me hanging like that! Who is he?�
�Inquiring minds want to know, don�t they? Unfortunately, duty calls�I have about three million lines to memorize before tomorrow, so, you know. But later, I promise.�
�Yeah, definitely. I�ll hold you to that promise. So you go. I should go� um, I don�t know. Memorize my lines too, for that big fancy movie I�m doing. The one with that Bosworth girl. She�s pretty hot these days.�
�Ha. Cute, Kel. She�d be a lot hotter if a megastar called her his soul mate, but we can�t all be Kelly O�Shaughnessy, can we?�
�Well apparently we can! Anyway, it wasn�t about me, dork.� Her stomach lurched. �You go now. Be a movie star. I�m going to go do homework. You know. Like ordinary people.�
There was a break in the easy flow of conversation, and Kelly heard Kate sigh. �Yeah. I�ll go be a movie star. You know, sometimes I really miss the relative normality of college. Sometimes I really do�� she trailed off.
�Well hon, you�re always welcome back. You know that, right?�
�Yeah. Thanks, babe. Now go. And please just at least consider calling Orli? For me?�
Kelly grimaced at the nickname�she had always refused to call him that. She acquiesced nevertheless. �Of course I�ll think about it.� I�ll think about it nonstop, most likely. �Bye bye now, for real.�
�OK yes. Bye Kelly.�
�Bye Kate.� And with that, despite Kate�s urging, Kelly was quite sure there wouldn�t be any more conversations with movie stars in the very near future. Somehow her life didn�t seem very compatible with it�with anything�at this particular moment.
* * *
Two days later, in London, Orlando Bloom was staring out the window of a twelfth-floor office right on the Thames. Various agents and press officers and spokespeople were having some sort of conference involving the promotion of his newest movie, but that wasn�t what was on his mind. He watched Londoners move casually throughout their days, and felt a strange pang of jealousy that he could not be one of them�at least, not now. He was between movies, between jobs, and normally that would mean a bit of a break, but there was such a whirlwind promotion campaign ahead that sometimes he felt sick just thinking about it. To add to this, though he was only two months removed from his 29th birthday, he was feeling quite old, and nervous about the future. Maybe that�s why he had decided to do the quick interview with Us Weekly�not cleared by his agent or his spokespeople, but just a way to vent on a global scale. To vent about her�
The meeting was breaking up as one of Orlando�s �people,� Roger, sauntered over to the rundown star. �Orlando, babe,� he said, in his simpering faux-Hollywood voice. �This Us quote��
�I know, Roger, I should have cleared it,� Orlando interrupted. He wasn�t really up to being harangued on the processes of publicity.
�Well yeah, you normally should. And we weren�t too crazy that you decided to do Us Weekly when there are bigger, hotter, more tasteful fish in the sea, but whatever. You managed to pull it off with such flair! I couldn�t have taught you better myself! This quote� boy, it just couldn�t be better!�
Orlando raised his head and fixed Roger with an inquisitive stare. �What do you mean �it just couldn�t be better�?�
�The whole �soul mate� nonsense! You just set aflutter��he waved his hands��the hearts of 150 American women, and thanks to the internet, about 3 billion women worldwide! And just in time to promote the new flick! You couldn�t have crafted it better! Who gave you the idea?�
Orlando�s questioning look turned into an outright glare. This man, this balding, pathetic man had just assumed Orlando had done the interview and given the �soul mate� quote for publicity. Some passion deep within him was surging through his body, and Orlando just wanted to reach up and strangle Roger. But he knew he was upset for different reasons and it was best not to take out his anger on the man that was painstakingly crafting his �image,� no matter how much ire he felt at this particular moment.
�So, who is she? Well, of course, if you actually meant it, that is. Although, can I just say that not saying her name was a stroke of genius? Such mystery! You�ll be the talk of the town. E! Online will cover it, you�ll get a few lines in Entertainment Weekly, maybe we can even swing a cover story in one of the lesser-known mags. And don�t even get me started on the blogs�you�ll be talked to death on the internet.� He droned on, but Orlando lost interest every time he started talking shop. He didn�t even fully know what a �blog� was, exactly, and was getting a headache at the thought of the quote being so huge.
�Really, kudos on the quote, Orli. And congrats to the lucky lady, if she exists!� Roger finished with a sickening giant wink as he strode out of the room.
The thought of planting a quote like that just for publicity, of inventing the idea of a soul mate just to promote movies, turned Orlando�s headache into full-on nausea. He had, of course, not made her up. She existed. She currently held a monopoly on his thoughts, though it was most likely best not to think about her so much. Especially considering his past. But it was times like this that he just felt so damn lonely, and her presence always provided a source of comfort for him. Her kiss, her touch, and her laugh. Always her laugh, resounding through his mind, brightening the ubiquitous, mundane gray. But he had gone too long without hearing it. He wondered if she had read the magazine�he had no idea if she followed his life, after all. And if she had read the magazine, did she know it was in reference to her? She had been listed among the litany of his women, but there were so many. As soon as he had read the article, Orlando was a bit shocked at the laundry list of women they had produced�he had no idea he had been that productive since breaking up with Kate. And only one of those women had really, truly mattered. The soul mate.
Orlando overheard Roger in the hallway talking to another agent about the quote. It really was revolting how the man could relegate something as serious as love into just a sound bite to use in the campaign. It was while contemplating this that Orlando reached for the phone. He knew what he had to do.
* * *