Chapter Seven
Hello and Goodbye
�Welcome aboard Delta Airlines flight 1117 with nonstop service to Athens��
Kelly was dimly aware of the perky female voice filtering in through the speakers. She tightened and rechecked her seatbelt for the fifth time and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She tried to concentrate on the safety video now playing on her TV monitor and tried not to concentrate on the multitude of catastrophic scenarios that would necessitate such safety procedures. As the video droned on, Kelly peeked under her seat for the life vest. It was safely there, as it had been the previous six times she had checked.
�Don�t worry. I�ve checked mine ten times, and it will never disappear from under your seat,� came a voice from the seat next to Kelly. She turned sheepishly to the man sitting there.
�I know. But that kid behind me looks kinda dodgy�he might be trying to steal it,� she joked, indicating a jumpy preteen directly behind her. Her neighbor just smiled and returned to his book.
Kelly couldn�t help glancing down to see what he was reading. Anna Karenina, she thought. Nice. And he�s not too bad himself! She stole a glance at him under the pretext of examining the �dodgy� kid. As she slowly craned her neck around, she took in his features. He had a British accent, but looked decidedly Greek and in his mid-twenties. Rich olive skin, dark curly hair� Kelly felt something lurch in the pit of her stomach as she was reminded of someone quite similar. Orlando. Great.
��Flying time will be approximately nine and a half hours�� came the perky voice.
Really great, thought Kelly. Nine and a half hours of sitting with an Orlando clone. She turned her head back to face front and furrowed her brow. There was only one thing to do. She would have to completely ignore the similarity. She would have to block all thoughts of Orlando from her mind unless she wanted to agonize and analyze for ten hours. He�s not really that similar, she thought. Orlando�s cheekbones were more defined, and his hair was curlier. And there was a definite difference in their accents. And Orlando had brown eyes, not green. Come to think of it, thought Kelly as she peered slyly at the mystery man, maybe he�s not really that similar at all�. Yeah, definitely not. She smiled, then flushed bright red as the man looked up from his book. He looked at her quizzically, and the hint of a smile passed over his face as he returned to his Tolstoy.
* * *
Two hours later Kelly was working her way slowly through the crossword puzzle in the back of the in-flight magazine. She couldn�t help but think that her mystery man had been checking her progress throughout the puzzle�s entirety, but every time she tried to peek at him, he seemed re-engrossed in his book. She did notice, however, that it seemed to be taking him quite a long time to read his current chapter�
The puzzle was almost done, to Kelly�s immense satisfaction. She had only one rather large section of squares to complete, and she would be triumphant. Sure, she had fudged a few of her answers, but no one would notice. And sure, she had checked the answer key a few times, but she had been careful not to look at more than one or two words. And sure, sometimes she had accidentally seen a few more answers than she intended, but none of that mattered. She wanted to get the last few words without cheating. But she was torn on 13 across, and her fingers were itching to just flip the page and check the key�
�You�ve made quite a bit of progress there,� said the man. �I�m not quite sure that �oboo� is the correct answer in 35 down, but��
Kelly looked up at him and grinned. �Yeah, well, it made �snogging� fit in 40 across, so I figured it was close enough. And now I�m so close to the end, and I just want to finish the damn thing, but I�m having trouble with thirteen: �splitting to unite.� I just want to check my answer so bad, but I can�t.�
The man squinted his eyes to read the clue in the dimming light. ��Splitting to unite,�� he mused, and examined Kelly�s grid. �Yeah, what you have is right. �Eloping.��
�Really? How do you know?� she asked gleefully.
�Well, er, I would say that I�m just a genius like that, but the truth is, I did this very puzzle on my trip out to New York, so I know all the answers already��
Kelly laughed. �Well it�s very good of you to be so honest. And thanks for saving me from the answer key, although I guess I still cheated on the rest of the puzzle, so it wouldn�t have mattered much�� She quickly filled in the rest of the answers and stuck her hand out. �I�m Kelly. Thanks for helping.�
He shook it. �I�m Nikos. You�re welcome.�
�Ooh! Nikos! Are you Greek?� Kelly shifted slightly in her seat to face him better.
�Yeah. Not native Greek, but my parents were born there, and I live in Athens sometimes.�
�Sometimes?�
�Well, I spent most of my childhood in England, as you maybe can tell by the accent. I studied there too, at Oxford, but I�m relocating permanently to Athens.�
�That�s great!� Kelly said, though she couldn�t help wondering if he could perhaps relocate permanently to New Jersey or Wyoming� �What did you study?�
�Better question: what didn�t I study. I had about five majors and two minors at University�kept changing my mind. I think�and I�ll probably need to check my diploma on this one�but I think my final degree was in Classical Archaeology and Ancient History.�
�And what does one do with a degree in Classical Archaeology and Ancient History?� Kelly asked, feeling quite impressed.
�Well, one is pretty much guaranteed that one will be an extremely well-qualified tour guide for the rest of one�s life,� said Nikos with a smile.
�Ah, yes. The noble classical art of tour-guiding.� She winked. �I�m a prospective Classics major/future tour guide myself, hence the trip to the �Motherland.��
�Excellent! Are you studying in Athens for long?�
�Well, it�s a joint program with Oxford, actually, so I�ll be in Athens until mid-November, then it�s to your home away from home, I guess!�
�I think I was in that very program my sophomore year�which seems like ages ago. It�s fantastic.�
�That�s great. I�ve been looking forward to it for about five years, so it better live up to my expectations!� She laughed.
�It will. Especially if I�m your tour guide!� Nikos grinned.
Kelly smiled warmly. Suddenly, seven more hours on the plane didn�t seem nearly long enough�
* * *
�Jo! Josephina!� Kelly shouted excitedly into her cell phone as soon as she was settled in Athens. �Josephina Maria! It�s your favorite Kelly!�
Jo�s confused voice reached Kelly�s ear. �What? Kelly O? Where in the hell are you? Are you in Athens?�
�Yes! I�m here and it is beyond beautiful. It's a little crazy since the Olympics ended three days ago, but whatever! Wanna come visit me?� she giggled.
�Yeah, I�d love to, but I just gave all my millions away to charity. Tough luck. But how are you calling me? Isn�t this costing you a fortune?�
�Eh, not really. We rigged up an international plan for my cell phone. It�s actually quite handy, I can�� she interrupted herself. �That�s not the point. The point is, I met someone!�
�Wow! Queen of the Rebound now, are you?� said Jo. �What�s he like?�
�Well, his name is Nikos Tatsopoulos. He�s Greek and has a British accent. It�s like the best of both worlds,� Kelly gushed.
�Where did you meet him?�
�On the plane. I think he was making fun of me because I kept checking for my life jacket, but I�m not sure. But later, he helped me cheat in my crossword puzzle, and he translated some Harry Potter British slang for me, and�well, I�m not too sure about this one�but he said he shut my mouth when I started snoring on the plane. Isn�t that cute?�
�Hmm� Well, I�ve seen you sleep, and I�ve heard you snore, and it�s not very cute, but I�ll just agree and say �yes� for the hell of it,� said Jo with a laugh.
�Thanks,� Kelly said sarcastically. �Anyway, he�s a tour guide here in Athens, and he said he might be working with my study abroad group! He gave me his address so I can go visit him if I have free time. I�m so excited!�
�Kelly, you amaze me. How is it that you meet all these fantastically gorgeous guys? Nikos? Adam? Orlando? How do you do it?�
�Well, it generally involves me making an ass of myself. But it�s funny you should mention Orlando.� Kelly�s voice changed. She lost her enthusiasm, and picked up a questioning tone. �I couldn�t help but think that I was so attracted to this guy because he really does remind me of Orlando. I tried to ignore it, but it kept nagging at me throughout the flight. I know it�s so stupid of me, but I kept comparing them. What do you think that means? Am I just not over Orlando?� Kelly didn�t wait for Jo�s answer, but kept on talking, her voice becoming more constrained. �I swear, if Orlando is the stick by which I measure all future men, I�m going to lead a very strange and lonely life. I think it might be some sort of complex. You know, like the Oedipus complex? I think I have the Orlando-pus complex.� She let out a nervous half-laugh.
�Kelly��
�Ha. I should start a club. Motto: If you can�t love Orlando Bloom, love the one you�re with, right? We could have t-shirts.�
�Kelly��
�But seriously.� Kelly�s voice became higher now, and full of emotion. She began talking very rapidly, and seemed on the verge of tears to Jo. �I mean, is that fair? That he�s left such an impression on me that I can�t even meet a guy without instantly thinking Orlando? Am I just really not over him?�
�KELLY!� Jo was shouting now. �Kelly, stop! Please! Don�t think like this! Look, I really don�t want to say this�I don�t want to be the bitchy friend who shatters your dreams, but you and Orlando were never together. You have nothing to be �over.� You had a nice run, but it was just a friendship. Granted, most of us were so excited about Orlando that we goaded you into believing it was more than it actually was, and I�m truly sorry for that, but you can�t let him control the rest of your life. I�m so sorry that I have to say this, but listening to you talk�� she faltered. �You can�t do this to yourself. If you�re going to cut him out, you have to cut him out completely. He can�t be the stick to which you measure all other men, because you were never with him. Don�t let him confuse what you could have.�
This speech was followed by the loudest silence in Kelly�s life. Jo�s words hit her hard, and she didn�t quite know how to respond. Deep in her gut, she knew Jo was completely right, but she wanted so much to believe that she and Orlando had had more than �just a friendship.� She so desperately wanted to have been with him, and to be over him. But the quasi-flirtatious whatever that they had shared shouldn�t have meant anything. Just fun. Just friends�
�Kelly? Are you there? Kelly, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have said anything�� Jo said apologetically.
�No, Jo, you�re absolutely right. I can�t believe what an idiot I�ve been. An �Orlando-pus complex�? That�s rich. I have a Dumbass complex, if anything,� Kelly snorted. �I think I just got so worked up, so caught up with the idea of Orlando Bloom that it really has clouded my view of reality.�
�Well yeah, but I�m sure I was too harsh. I mean, it was more than your normal friendship, but less than, well� than a relationship. That�s all I meant to say.�
�Yeah, that�s right. It wasn�t a normal relationship at all, that�s for damn sure. And I was stupid to think I could carry the remnants of whatever we had for the rest of my life. But it still hurts, Jo. I just can�t believe he still hasn�t called.�
�Umm, about that...� there was an awkward pause as Jo cleared her throat. �I�ve been wondering, why don�t you just call him? I mean, at least you�ll be talking, you know? That�s gotta be better than this total non-communication, right?�
�Yeah, I know.� Kelly sighed. She�d been pondering this very question many times over in her head, and the answer didn�t quite satisfy her. �I�ve thought about that a lot, and the only think I can come up with doesn�t really make sense. I guess it�s just that he�s the one with power to control how far our relationship goes, because he�s the one with the restraining factor, right?�
�Huh? I�m not following,� Jo said.
�I know it doesn�t make a lot of sense. But Orlando is with Kate, right? So when it all comes down to it, he�s going to have a limit as to how far he can take our relationship without cheating on Kate�or feeling like he�s cheating on Kate. All the phone calls were perfectly innocent because he initiated them with a clear conscience. He knew he was calling me and he didn�t feel like that constituted any form of infidelity, no matter how much we talked or what we talked about. Do you kind of see what I mean?�
�Well, rooting out a lot of those four-syllable words, you�re basically saying the ball had to always be in his court?�
�Yeah. You put it quite well. Succinctly. I just feel that if I were to have called him four times a week, it would have been so much different. I would be this, this hussy that was trying to seduce my best friend�s boyfriend or something. As long as he was controlling the situation, I didn�t feel guilty about it. But if I were to pick up the phone now, things would be so different. I know it sounds like a really lame excuse, but that�s just how I feel�� Kelly sighed again. Her reasons made sense in her head, but once they stumbled out of her lips, she felt so stupid. She had every right in the world to call him�Kate certainly wouldn�t mind. They were friends, after all�
�Well,� Jo�s voice broke into her reverie, �I wouldn�t call you a hussy if you called him, but I understand your motives. I still think they�re stupid and you just call him, but you know�� Jo laughed.
Kelly smiled. �Thanks for the suggestion. I think I might. I just can�t stand not talking to him. But I�m so worried that I�ll just swoon all over again as soon as I hear his voice, and I�ve worked for so many months to ignore what I feel for him. ARGH! I can�t win.�
Much to Kelly�s confusion, Jo laughed again. �Look, Kel, your situation is quite enviable. The way I see it, you have two choices. One: Keep doing what you�re doing, forget about Orlando, and go with your Greek Adonis, despite the fact that he might remind you of a certain Brit occasionally. Two: Call Orlando, guard yourself against his British charms, and get some closure on this whole fucking situation! Tell him that you value your friendship and want to continue said friendship. And be sure to tell him that if he wants, um, something more than friendship, he can call me!�
Kelly could practically feel Jo�s large wink through the phone.
�Ha, Jo. Be careful what you wish for. Look how �something more than friendship� turned out for me! But you�re right. Those are my options. And I think it�s gonna be Option Two. I�ve just gotta suck it up and call him. I just need closure, right?�
�Yep. Closure. And then some hot Greek lovin�. After those two things, you�ll be right as rain!�
Kelly snorted a goodbye to Jo and collapsed onto her bed. She looked at the clock, but knowing that it was only five in the afternoon didn�t make her any less tired. She was extremely jet-lagged, but her physical exhaustion was nothing compared to her emotional exhaustion. She was all alone in her little room and miles away from any familiar face. And as soon as Jo hung up the phone, a vast expanse of time seemed to stretch before her. She would be in Athens for two and a half months, and she knew she couldn�t spend that entire time with the Orlando situation hanging perilously over her head.
�OK, Kel, let�s get it together,� she mumbled to herself as she stared at her cell phone. �Time to get closure. We�ll deal with the Greek lovin� later on.� She smiled at the recollection of Jo�s advice. Shakily, she dialed the familiar numbers of Orlando�s mobile phone. Her heart seemed to double its pace as she waited for him to answer. Out loud, she hoped he didn�t answer, but inside she knew she was dying to hear his voice.
And her inner desire was fulfilled as his famously silky tones greeted her. �Kelly.� It wasn�t a question.
�Orlando,� she stated back, sitting on her free hand to try to restrain its shakes.
His voice now came in an awkward spurt. �It�s good� Good to hear you. Hear from you. Um, how� how have you been? How are you?�
Tears unwillingly rushed to the corners of Kelly�s eyes. The simple sentences that stumbled unceremoniously from his mouth were enough to open the floodgates of longing that she had barred shut months ago. Kelly coughed, desperate to conceal her emotion. �I�m doing really well,� she lied. �How are you?�
�Fine. I�m fine. Man, it�s been a while, eh?� he said in a falsely jovial tone. �A few months, at least.�
�Yeah, a few.� Kelly knew perfectly well it had been since late March, and she hoped Orlando had been counting the months, too.
There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Orlando said, �So are you in Greece, then? For your study program?�
Kelly�s heart skipped a beat. He had asked Kate about her. He had found out about the study program. Which meant he knew she was coming to England�
�Yeah, just got here,� she answered. �Haven�t even unpacked, but I thought I�d give you a call. I wanted to, um, test out my international cell phone thing, so, you know�� her voice trailed off.
�Right, sure. Well, it works, I guess.� Another pause. �So, Kate told me that you get to come to Oxford too.�
�Yeah,� she answered, not really knowing what else to say.
�When?�
�Oh, not until December.� The lie left her mouth before she even had time to ponder it. She had unwittingly shaved off two of her UK weeks. Why? Why didn�t I just say I was coming in November?
�Really? Kate said it was in November.�
�Yeah, well, they rescheduled it a bit.� Great. More lies. What the hell am I doing?
�Oh. That�s too bad. I was hoping to see you when you were there, but I�ll be in LA in December. With Kate,� he added as an afterthought.
�That sucks!� she said, not quite sure if she meant it.
He laughed weakly. �Yeah, it sucks. But I guess there�s always the New Year, eh?�
�Sure,� she said, her head spinning as she thought of the prospect of not seeing him for four more months.
And that was the moment she knew. Kelly realized she couldn�t wait that long. She could not have four more months on top of the five she had already spent apart from Orlando. She could not do it. And she felt a sudden urge to confess everything. She so desperately wanted to tell Orlando how much she loved him�or at least how confused she was about their situation. But something inside held her back, and when she opened her mouth, no words came out.
Instead, it was Orlando who spoke: �Look, Kelly, I know you�ve probably been wondering why I hadn�t called lately, and I just wanted to tell you that I�well, I don�t really know. But I�m sorry. And I really hope we can resume our chats, because I miss them. And, well, things aren�t that great between Kate and me right now, so I guess I kind of need you. I really need you. So would it be OK if I started calling again?�
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Kelly�s need for confession completely vanished. She was, apparently, just a shrink to him�just a shoulder to cry on when he and Kate were in trouble. And while a huge part of her just wanted to say �Yes, it would be great if you started calling again,� she knew that couldn�t be her answer. Because to let him start calling again would mean to let him back into her life. The cycle would begin all over again: Orlando would call and talk about his problems with Kate, Kate would call and talk about how worried she was, and Kelly would get her hopes up all over again, just to have them come crashing down when Kate and Orlando were back to normal after two weeks. And an eternity without Orlando was better than a constant parade of dashed hopes and broken dreams.
So though just a few minutes ago Kelly had been on the verge of pouring her soul out for Orlando, she now hardened her will against this course of action and decided, once and for all, that she would end it. Right then and there.
�Wait a second. You don�t know? You don�t know why you haven�t been calling me for five months? Five fucking months, Orlando�that�s quite a stretch of time. And now, as soon as something bad happens with Kate, you just want to pick it right back up. Well, that�s just not good enough for me. I�m not your therapist. So actually, Orlando, I don�t think it would be OK,� she said, surprised at the force of her own words. �You see, I�m different now. I can�t sit and listen to you for hours on end. I have different priorities. I have a new life, with new people and new places. And I�d prefer if you didn�t start calling again.�
Kelly couldn�t help the tears that now rolled freely down her cheeks. She had said it. She had done it. This was the beginning of the end. The ball was no longer in his court. She had taken the ball and thrown it right in his face. And then Kelly was suddenly gripped with the feeling that she had made the wrong decision. And the words that came out of Orlando�s mouth made her want to take it all back.
�Kelly, I� I�m� No! I didn�t want you just to be my therapist! I just thought, I mean� I didn�t know that�s how you felt. And now I see how that must have sounded, but I really want you back, for you, not for your therapy�which, I�ll admit, I do miss�� he coughed out a little nervous laugh.
Kelly sighed. �Well, Orlando, I�m sorry. The offices of Dr. O�Shaughnessy are permanently closed. I just can�t do this right now. It�s too confusing. Everything and everyone just gets twisted up, and I don�t want any more unhappiness.�
There was a long pause as Orlando considered his words. Kelly sat with baited breath, wondering what he would answer. You did the right thing, Kelly. You made a good choice�
When Orlando finally replied, his formerly smooth voice seemed to have hardened. �Of course. I understand. We�ll just go back to how it�s been these past five months�and I�ll hate every minute. But I understand your decision, and you�re probably right. And I�m sorry for whatever I�ve done that has made you feel this way,� Kelly could hear the emotion in his voice, and it killed her. But he continued: �And I just want to let you know that it has been amazing to know you, and I don�t plan on ever giving up this friendship.� She had never heard his voice so melancholy, and it took unknown strength not to stop him�not to take back everything she had said. And still, he continued: �But I guess I need to go now. Good luck in Greece and Oxford, and in whatever you choose to do next.� He paused. �And goodbye.�
Kelly didn�t wait for the line to disconnect before she started sobbing. It was over.
* * *