Chapter Six
Wyoming
The phone didn�t ring anymore. After weeks of constant calls, it now lay idle next to her bed. The elation she had felt at the possibility of something more had been replaced by resigned happiness for her two best friends�each feeling their own happiness together. So she sat and waited and smiled and hid, and hoped that one day the phone would ring again. Because until then she was not whole. She was incomplete. She was alone.
* * *
Jackson Hole, Wyoming
�Kate, if I may say so, you look even happier than usual!� exclaimed Miranda O�Shaughnessy as she prepared breakfast for her family in their spacious, sunlit kitchen.
�I am, Mrs. O. I�m happier now than I think I�ve ever been in my life!� said Kate, practically bubbling over with enthusiasm. Kelly stood to the side, absent-mindedly peeling oranges.
�And might we ask why, Miss Bosworth?� asked Paul O�Shaughnessy with a sly grin.
�Certainly, Mr. O. I�m here on this beautiful ranch with my best friend and her wonderful family, I�ve finished my first year of college and my first really, really big movie, and, well�� she smiled sheepishly, �I�m in love. Completely and totally in love.�
�Kate, that�s wonderful. We�re so glad you�re here, and even happier that you and Orlando have worked things out,� said Miranda, smiling at her husband.
Patrick O�Shaughnessy looked at his sister, who had looked up at Kate�s pronouncement.
Kelly didn�t return his glance, but returned to her oranges with renewed vigor. Each peel fell off faster than the last, and if Kelly wasn�t careful, she�d claw herself to death.
Obviously, Kelly wasn�t quite as happy as her mother was about Orlando and Kate ending their break. Obviously, there had been some development in the Kate-Orlando-Kelly triangle that Patrick hadn�t heard about. Yet.
Because that�s what it was. It was love. There was no point in denying herself anymore. If she wasn�t in love with Orlando, then she didn�t know what love was. But God, did it have to hurt so much?
�Yeah, we�ve definitely worked out all the kinks. And you can thank your daughter for that!� said Kate, beaming at Kelly.
Kelly managed a small smile, though she felt like chucking an orange right back at that smiling blonde head. �Well, I do what I can. I did what any best friend would do.�
�Oh? What�s that?� asked Miranda.
�Um, you know. Just listened and talked and�Kate, you finish the story. I�m going to run to the, uh, bathroom.� Kelly dropped her orange and left the room. As she bounded up the stairs, she heard Kate�s voice from the kitchen:
�Well Mrs. O, she talked to Orlando nearly every night, and when she wasn�t talking to him, she was listening to me. She was just always there for both of us. And I really think she played a big part in getting us to end �the break��or as I like to call it, �the mistake.��
Kelly dropped down on the top step, and put her head between her knees. She had no right to be so frustrated with Kate, but the excessive happiness was really getting to her.
And now Kate was crediting her with fixing the whole relationship, which, deep down, was the complete opposite result that Kelly had desired. And yet, somehow�inadvertently�Kelly had managed to convince Orlando that he needed to mend things with Kate. Kelly had convinced him to choose Kate. Well, the choice had ultimately been his own, but looking back�
�Kelly, I don�t know. I�ve never seen her so angry. She looked like she wanted to rip my head off.�
�Well, she�s quite upset, Orlando, but I think she really wants to work it out. You need to work it out.�
�Seriously? She didn�t seem like it. God, I hate seeing her like this. I love her so much. What should I do?�
�Orlando, if you love her, you have to make it work. You have two choices: Give up or fight for her. You love each other. I think the choice is pretty clear��
What had possessed her to say those things, when every fiber of her being was screaming for him to say �Forget Kate, I want you!�? When every instant she heard his voice and his compassion for Kate she fell deeper and deeper in love with him?
Kelly felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up through her tears to see Patrick smiling down at her. He sat next to her on the step and she rested her head on his shoulder. �Kel, I�m sorry. I know you wanted him to make the other choice. I know this is tearing you up, but you did the right thing.�
�Well the right thing feels like shit.�
�You�d feel shittier if you had broken them up for good, though. Right?�
�I don�t even know right now. I�m so fucking angry. He�s just completely cut me out of his life! What the hell did I do to deserve that? Damn it, I hate crying!� Kelly violently wiped the tears from her cheeks.
Patrick smiled. �Stop, then. Go splash your face and eat breakfast. We can�t hold off their curiosity much longer. I think even Mom is about to crack under Kate�s ebullience.�
Kelly giggled. �Good point. I should go relieve them. Too much cheeriness can really be detrimental to a person�s mental health.�
�Tell me about it! Now go. I�ll tell them you were throwing up.� He gave her a little shove.
�What a good brother you are. Make sure to include violent, gross descriptions, will you?�
�Of course! What are brothers for?� Patrick turned and ran down the steps. Kelly trudged into the bathroom and peered at herself in the mirror.
Excellent. I look great. Red eyes? Check. Puffy face? Check. Huge lump in my throat? Got that, too. Stupid, ridiculous, gorgeous Orlando, look what you�ve done to me�
* * *
Two hours later, Kelly had calmed herself down enough to take Kate on a trail ride. It was kind of awkward to be with Kate, but knowing that at least someone was still talking to Orlando made Kelly happier, even if Kelly wished the situation was reversed. But the more she thought about it, the more she accepted the fact that she had been deceiving herself these past few months. She had been silly enough to allow herself to like�no�love Orlando, when he obviously did not return the sentiment. And now she saw the consequences of her folly. This end, this result had been looming somewhere in the back of her mind forever: Orlando would choose Kate. It seemed so obvious now. Kelly felt pretty stupid for not realizing it earlier, but there was no need to dwell on it now. It was clearly time to move on�
�So what are these horses named, again?� Kate�s question jarred Kelly back to the present.
�You�re riding Lady and I�m riding Steele,� Kelly answered curtly, returning her gaze straight ahead.
�Oh. They�re gorgeous,� Kate said quietly.
�Thanks.�
Kelly, this isn�t right. You�re not mad at Kate, so stop acting like a baby� True, Kate hadn�t done anything wrong. She and Kelly were guilty of the same crime, the same love, and Orlando had made a choice. In no way could Kate be blamed.
�Kate, I�m sorry I�ve been weird today,� started Kelly.
�Oh, have you been weird? I hadn�t noticed,� Kate said politely, though Kelly could tell she had noticed.
�Yeah, I�ve been quiet and moody and other disagreeable things. I just have a lot to sort out right now, and I�m sorry if I take it out on you.�
�Oh Kelly, you know I�m here for you, right? You can talk to me about anything!�
No I can�t. �Thanks, Kate. But I might just have to sort this one out myself.�
�OK, well, I�m here if you need me. It�s funny, I just said the exact same thing to Orlando,� Kate laughed.
Kelly couldn�t ignore the sharp pang that shot through her body at his name. Gallantly, she attempted nonchalance and asked, �What did you say?�
�Well, he said almost the same thing as you�personal problems, moodiness, the whole deal, but he didn�t want to talk about it with me either. Man, you�d be surprised how often you guys are feeling the exact same. Maybe you guys could talk to each other during one of your weekly phone calls!� Kate smiled, obviously pleased with her plan.
�Yeah, maybe�� Kelly hesitated. �Actually, Kate, we don�t really talk anymore.� Might as well discuss it; she probably knows anyway.
�What? Since when?� Kate looked completely shocked.
Or not! �Well, it�s been a few weeks, at least. Probably more. We talked a lot right before and during the break, but as soon as you guys got back together�� Kelly trailed off, hoping Kate could put two and two together.
�You don�t think he stopped talking to you because of me, do you?� Kate now looked panicked.
�Oh no! No, not at all, Kate. I�m sure he�s got his own motives. After all, it�s not like I�ve picked up the phone to call him either. The door swings both ways.� Kelly shrugged.
�OK, well, do you want me to talk to him about it?�
�No, please don�t. I�m fine about it. Really.� Kelly managed a thin smile through her lie.
�Alright. I�m really sorry, Kel. You were so good for him. That�s probably why he�s moody! But I wonder why he doesn�t call� Oh well. I�m sure he�ll come around! Now come on, I see some logs that are screaming at me to jump them!� Kate steered Lady toward some fallen tree limbs.
�Well now Kate, that�s not fair. You�re a national junior champion equestrian, and well, I�m not!� Kelly smiled, and began to urge Steele toward the jumps.
�What? I can�t hear you! Guess you�ll have to catch up!� yelled Kate over her shoulder.
Kelly broke into a grin as Steele broke into a gallop. This is more important than him�
* * *
The next day, Kelly was holed up in bed with a hot pad on her back and ice on her ankle. She was awoken from her nap by a soft knock on the door. Kate came in with a bouquet of daisies and a sheepish grin.
�Kelly, I am so sorry you fell off Steele yesterday!� said Kate, barely containing her smile.
�Ha ha. Laugh it up, you loser with a perfect seat,� Kelly grinned back at Kate. While Kate had flown perfectly over all the logs, Kelly had somehow managed to lose her seat and go flying into an ironically convenient thorn bush. She had walked it off with a sore back and twisted ankle, which Kate found highly amusing.
Kelly snatched the flowers from Kate in mock anger and paused to smell them. She looked up at her friend. �Do you still have to leave today?�
Kate nodded. �Yeah. Yeah, I�ve got a really hectic schedule coming up.�
�Oh, where are you going now?� Kelly asked.
�Morocco,� Kate answered.
�Fun! What are you filming there? And can I come?�
Kate smiled. �Well, with your injuries you can�t go anywhere.�
�Oh, these aren�t injuries, I�m faking. Take me to Morocco! I want to see your movie set and go to Casablanca and eat at Rick�s American Caf� and have Sam play the piano� Please Kate!� Kelly grinned. �But seriously, what are you filming there?�
�Well, I�m not actually filming anything. Orlando�s there for Kingdom of Heaven, and I�m going to visit him.�
Kelly�s grin disappeared. �Oh. Right, that makes sense. Duh. I probably shouldn�t go then, right? Damn, I guess Rick will just have to wait.� Kelly dropped her gaze back down to the daisies.
Kate fidgeted awkwardly and could only add a soft, �Yeah. He�ll have to wait in Casablanca�� she trailed off.
�Alright, come on, let�s not think about this. You have a good time regardless of who you�re with, and I�ll have a terrible time as I sit here and cheat death with my fatal wounds. Come sit on the bed and give me a hug goodbye.� Kelly saw the relief pass over Kate�s face. She sighed. This rift hurts her too, not just me� �Will I see you before school starts in the fall?�
�Yeah, I think so. When do you have to leave for Greece?�
�September first.� Kelly had been accepted in a study-abroad program for the fall semester. She would spend September, October, and part of November touring Greece and studying in various Greek universities, and would finish November and December studying the Classics at Oxford in the United Kingdom. Though she would miss her terribly, right now she felt relief at the prospect of not being around Kate and, by extension, Orlando for an entire semester.
�OK, well, we don�t start until the eighth, so we�ll have to reunite before then.� Kate looked worried.
�Kate, you goof, don�t worry! We�ll see each other before I leave to tour the magnificent Greek isles and you�re stuck with another New Jersey winter. I promise,� she winked.
�Have I told you that I hate you? Can I come to Greece?� Kate put on the puppy dog face.
�Sure! Can you fit in my suitcase?�
�If I suck in, then maybe��
�What�s sad is that�s true, Kate. You�re a stick.�
�Oh, and you�re quite the heifer yourself, aren�t you?�
�I don�t know� I�ll be cooped up here for years probably, until I recuperate� Who knows what effect that will have on my body?� Kelly pretended to groan and clutch at her ankle.
�Awww, poor baby. Seriously though, what are you doing for the rest of the summer?�
Kelly paused. �Well, I�m glad you asked. Adam�s coming in a few days, and� I don�t know, but I think I�m going to break up with him.�
�What? Why?�
�Well, I�m leaving for an entire semester, and he�s going to be a senior, and the past few months just haven�t been that great. And for once in the history of the world, the phrase �it�s not you, it�s me� is going to apply. He�s great, but I�m just not 100% there, and that�s not fair to him. So I think I�m going to end it. He deserves better.�
�It sounds like you�ve got it all thought out then, Kel. And I confess; I never saw this coming. I thought you guys were so happy!�
�Well, we were. But a whole bunch of other stuff got in the way between then and now. I think I need some time alone, and I know that he�s got women crawling on the walls for him.�
�OK, as long as you�re sure� Oh crap, I have to go. My flight leaves in like an hour.�
Kelly glanced at the clock. �How are you getting to the airport?�
�Patrick�s going to drive me.�
�Really? Well, make sure you fasten your seatbelt! He�s kinda crazy sometimes.�
Kate winked. �I am too. It�ll be fun! So, we�re going for a joy ride, and you�ll just stay here on your deathbed, ok? And I�ll see you soon and talk to you sooner!�
�OK. Have a safe flight to Morocco. Tell Rick and Sam and the rest of the Casablanca gang I�m sorry.�
�And tell Orlando�?� Kate fixed Kelly with a questioning stare.
�Tell him whatever you want. I have no specific message.� This was not quite true. Kelly had a few choice words for him, but they would have to wait�
�Alright. Well, goodbye, and I love you!�
�You too. Be safe. Bye-bye.�
Kate left the room with a final wave. Kelly got out of bed and limped gingerly to sit by the window. In two short months she would be free. Free from Wyoming, free from Adam, free from Kate�s happiness, free from Orlando� Just free, and ready to start over.
June 2004