Coming to Terms I write this title with some ambivalence because I thought at the time I was coming to terms with FM and now I'm not so sure I ever will. Once I had accepted that this was part of my life ( and remember I spent the first seven years thinking it was going to be temporary) I made changes that I felt would allow me to do all the things I wanted to do plus cope with the condition. Doctors tell you that the condition doesn't get worse and there is no physical change so I felt it was just a matter of pushing myself. I worked part time, I took courses, I went to activities with my kids and when my mother was ill I was there for part of most days with her. The compromises were; letting the housework go, naps whenever I could grab them, rarely having energy to talk to my friends and my husband got to watch me sleep. When I fell asleep at my sons' concerts I apologised,when I found that the muscles spasms were getting unbearable and keeping me awake I got flexeril. When a friend found me sitting in my car staring into space unable to find the energy to drive home I got zoloft and then at least I could push myself the one more step as long as I didn't think ahead. When pain was unbearable I took painkillers and when I hit the blank spots where you just can't form a thought I drank coffee and kept pushing. After all fibromyalgia doesn't cause any physical changes,does it? I learnt some tricks along the way too. When you blank ask the person you're talking to to repeat the question or if you're in mid thought turn it around and say "... but what do you think?" Or you can pretend you just thought of something else you have to do but this all has to be planned ahead because when the blank spots hit you're lucky to remember you're name. Make lists and always keep them in the same place. Write down everything. Carry cold water to drink when you're driving and sing; you may get distracted but you usually recognize quicker that you simply have to stop and nap. Shortcut housework as much as you can. I am lucky to have a supportive family but the reality in my experience is that women still have to do the management in a household. So decide on the essential and then make them as simple as possible. I'm laughing as I write that because how do you shortcut laundry. Every shortcut has taken me years to learn. In our house clothes get washed IF they are in the hamper.I don't pick up. If someone knows they are going to need a specific item cleaned I have to be given advance notice.I sort clothes and washer and dryer can be done by anyone. Ironing is only done on an absolutely needed basis but everyone has learned to iron and mend. I admit that I can be bribed to do those two things. Next page copyright� 2000, Mitsou. All Rights Reserved. |