AND THEN? I find the closer I get to the present the harder this is to write, probably because I feel as if I should have more answers and I don't like being negative. It is very frustrating to visit doctors and be given advice that your mind says, "No", to. "Exercise will make you feel better." How does that work on the days you feel as if your muscles don't have the capability to keep you in a sitting position? Don't drink tea and coffee; Stay away from plants in the nightshade family; don't overeat, watch the fats and carbohydrates. What about your body begging , "Just give me something that will give me more energy."? The best course for fibramyalgia patients is to keep working and I'm not sure what the thought process(or lack of thought) there was for that. But if you're exhausted how effective are you in the workforce? I'm quite determined, I tried these things, after all what else can you do if you want to get better? I kept working, I did the exercises and it seemed like everytime I turned around I was getting sick. Every virus out there made me a visit. To put in a day's work meant sitting for an hour after work before I would have the energy to drive home. Then I started dropping things and falling. Series of tests and all they can come up with is muscle fatigue but do my doctors suggest stopping work. No that hasn't been recommended for fibromyalgia so we're staying with the program. Now I start developing allergies and my skin is covered in sores and my feet are bleeding and no one can figure out what is happening. The falls get worse and more frequent and I've fallen asleep at the wheel a couple of times. I'm at the point where I drag myself through a day's work, get home, fall in bed and get up and do it again. Lots of doctors, lots of specialists and the answer is always fibromyalgia. Finally I see a MD with a homeopathic licence. Not only does he name the allergies( one was antibiotics in beef and chicken) but he also says that quite simply I've tried to push myself past a point that my muscles can handle. He says it's simple. I can work if I don't do anything else- no social life, no family life and probably no personal life. Oh yes, I still might find that I don't get any better. Or I can stop work and try to work out a balance for myself, keeping in mind that I have to accept that most days I have half the energy level that other people have so I can not do the same amount. So why could no other doctor say that? With almost any other condition doctors would have recognized the state of exhaustion I was in and recommended at least a leave of absence from work. I had good doctors but they seemed to believe "that the fibromyalgia patient does better by remaining in the workforce". Luckily, my doctors had kept good records and I was able to go on disability. I still fall and drop things, I don't know if that means I have damaged my muscles in some way or whether I still am overdoing things. I still have days when the only option that is bearable is to lay down and hope that a few hours of rest will mean that I can get up and go again. I am a person who loves to do things and there are a million things I want to do but I've decided to live to a very old age and spread them out over a great deal of time.I hope that sometime soon I can rewrite this section and say that I've figured out how to overcome the fibramyalgia but for now I'm still working out how to live with it. copyright� 2000, Mitsou. All Rights Reserved. |