Getting Acquainted with Fibromyalgia It is unbelievable how little you are prepared for the reality of a chronic illness when you have always been healthy. The thing I remember most clearly about that first conversation with the doctor was the sentence, "It won't kill you and you will probably have it for the rest of your life". I didn't believe the second part of that statement and there were moments when I doubted the first part as well. I always believed health was just a matter of logic, understand the illness, find the things that cure it and follow through. I saw a specialist and was given a list of the symptons that they believed were common to fibromyalgia. Muscle pain - YES. Difficulty sleeping - no, I could sleep anytime, anywheres. The doctor confidently told me I was mistaken. I might think I was sleeping but I was having a restless sleep so I did have difficulty sleeping and therefore I hurt worse in the morning than at any other time of the day. "No again", I say , "Mornings are my best time." The doctor is not happy; and tells me that unknown to myself I am probably suffering from low level depression as that is also a sympton. I say I am concerned but not depressed. I am prescribed a low dosage of elevil to help me sleep and overcome the depression. Luckily I do not believe doctors are omnipotent. I try the elevil because I had taken it during a severe postpartum depression and considered it a miracle at the time. This time it seems to make everything much more difficult to do and I start feeling suicidal. Down the toilet go the elevil and although I still have my orginal pain and fatigue I no longer sit around feeling that my family would be better off with me dead. I might not feel that I'm doing the things I feel I should as a wife and mother but at least I feel as if I might work it out. Somewheres I read that it is believed the body renews itself every seven years and then the fibromyalgia will go away. Although this turns out not to be true it keeps me going. Life Changes No matter how well you usually adapt to life's changes fibromyalgia is a real challenge. All fibromyalgia victims have some symptons in common but I have found this affliction to really vary from person to person. We all have the pain and fatique in common, I believe, but over the next few years I would discover some symptons that seemed to be only mine. Cold suddenly started to be a problem. It didn't matter how warmly I dressed , if I took the children to the rink the cold seemed to be much more uncomfortable for me than for others and I would always be covered with chilbains. I love to walk and the fibromyalgia seemed to affect my legs the worst. I have noticed that FM people who type or use computers often start experiencing major problems with their wrists. I have come to believe that when the pain doesn't stop us from doing something we actually start damaging the muscles in that area. I could no longer tell for sure when I was sick. You get achy with the flu; same for fibromyalgia. Iron deficiency makes you tired; so does fibromyalgia. Twice I ended up with mononucleosis and thought it was just the FM being a little worse than usual. I discovered I could sleep anywhere and anytime and perhaps most frightening to me I discovered sheer will power would not allow me to do things I had done before. Push my muscles too hard and they simply stopped functioning. No longer could I get up on waterskies, my hands would just let go. Walk too far and I would just fall down. It is one thing to rationally tell yourself you accept your limitations; it is quite another thing to really do so. Next page copyright� 2000, Mitsou. All Rights Reserved. |